Better Than Love
by alibeebop
Summary: Elena may be safe now, but she almost wishes she wasn't. That is, until her life is interrupted by the reappearance of one Damon Salvatore. But if she really is to move on and accept her new future, can she hold on to any part of the past?  Future D/E
1. Homesick

_An idea I've had kicking around for a while. May as well write it and see how it goes! Set after the end of season 2, after everything's 'over'. Mainly D/E, but there may be twinges of other ships coming in. Please let me know what you think! It might well help when writing future chapters. ;)_

* * *

Elena found it hard to look in the mirror without feeling something these days. She missed the times when her reflection was just a reflection - just an image of herself she could use for doing her minimal make-up, for doing her hair and making sure she looked reasonable in the mornings. But her reflection wasn't just a picture any more. Especially not there - not in her old bedroom. Every time she looked into her own, muddy brown eyes, she just saw the sadness that still lingered after the events of all those months ago. Every time she saw her face, she remembered the woman that had cheapened her as a unique identity. Every time she looked at herself, she found some fault, some reminder. Elena wasn't afraid to admit it was too painful to remember. She preferred not to remember. If she had her way, she would forget. She would go back to the blissful peace of ignorance. But she couldn't forget. She would never be able to make herself forget.

In an attempt to distract herself from the events themselves, Elena focused on the new lives of her friends. They'd all left high school little over four months ago. Elena couldn't say she'd been surprised they'd left so quickly. This town held too much blood - too many new friends lost all too quickly, and too many battle sites that were hard to ignore. Elena only came back to her home town for two people. Jenna and Jeremy. Jenna still remained blissfully unaware of events, and Elena liked it that way. Jeremy agreed, thankfully. There was enough pain without Jenna being involved too. Jeremy was still in school, and Elena liked to see him. The supernatural had driven them apart, but they were fixing things up. Elena wanted to keep him close. So she made a point of coming home from Duke every fortnight or so. She didn't want to abandon town like everyone else had.

Caroline, sweet Caroline, had jumped ship as soon as she could. She had let the community think whatever they liked, but Caroline was living it up in L.A. She kept in touch, but Elena knew she was happier away from Virginia, away from it all. The one small comfort Elena kept was that Tyler had gone with her. Through it all, they had bonded the most, connected on some level no one else understood. Elena didn't even begin to try and consider why. But she was happy for them. Bonnie was less forgiving, less social. She had wanted out of the supernatural world altogether, away from vampires and werewolves and everything connected to their world. Elena knew she was at university, but Bonnie never said where. No one knew. Elena barely heard from her old best friend at all. Elena knew it was due to her old connection with the vampires. It was over now. Stefan was gone.

Elena thought of him as she brushed out her hair in front of her mirror. She gazed at the photograph taped to the edge of her mirror, the one of her and Stefan, back when they'd first met. Stefan. The second it had all ended, the second it was all over, he'd asked her once again, if she thought she could ever go back to him. Elena had been honest with herself. And she'd said no. After everything she'd been through, she had to admit that she didn't feel safe with him anymore. She felt pain and disaster and the loss of everything that might have been. Apart from the fact, he'd almost been too quick. She'd barely had time to come to terms with everything that had happened before he made her think about her future. Elena had to say no. She'd gone home and cried herself dry. But she said no all the same. Elena didn't know where Stefan was. He checked in every once in a while. But he was always distant. It was better that way. This was what Elena told herself, every time she felt the loss. It was better that way.

As for the other Salvatore? He was unreadable. Sometimes, when she was back in Mystic Falls, he would act like nothing had happened. Like it was the good old days when it was simple, straight forward. When he'd taunted her and she'd pushed him to his limits because they both needed it. Other weekends, Elena would know he was in town, but they avoided each other completely. Sometimes, Damon Salvatore just wasn't in Mystic Falls. Elena could always tell between the two situations. There was always some kind of indication. She was just good at reading the signs. Almost too good. Elena deemed it to be part of his volatile mood swings and the alcohol abuse she knew he had to be undergoing. With Stefan gone, Elena often wondered why big bad city boy even stayed in Mystic Falls. She wondered if he was just finding it hard to let go of what had happened. She couldn't blame him if he did. But who was she to say anything? She talked to Damon Salvatore for over three months now. He could have been dead, for all she knew.

Elena turned away from the mirror, and stared at the dress on her bed. She sighed. The annual Masquerade Ball was tonight, a tradition continued loyally by Carol Lockwood. Jenna was going. Jeremy was going. Elena was meant to be going. But the whole ball brought back too many memories of the last Masquerade. Katherine, Damon, Stefan... the torture of that night. It was too much. "Elena, are you ready yet?" Jeremy called through her door, with a little impatience. He wanted to leave. It was understandable. He had a new girl - Kate. She was sweet, pretty, and was everything Jeremy needed after his past romances. She was loyal; safe. Jenna was going out of duty, but she'd managed to rope Alaric into going with her. The old History teacher was still going strong. Elena had wondered why he stuck around until about a month after everything ended. Then she realised it was for her aunt. They really were something special.

"No, I'm staying here." Elena replied to her brother on impulse. "I'm not feeling well." She lied quickly. There was a silence from the other side of her door. Then Jeremy seemed to accept it was too much for Elena to go back to this ball. Too much for her to remember. Jeremy hoped she'd learn to handle it, someday. But for now, space was all she needed. This was his theory. This was what allowed him to do nothing more than sigh outside his sister's door, rather than walking in and forcing her into her dress himself. "Okay," Jeremy replied quietly. "Be careful." He said it more out of habit than anything, before heading downstairs.

Elena collapsed onto her bed, listening as Jeremy headed downstairs. She heard the murmurs of Jenna and Alaric, before they all headed outside, closing the door behind them and locking it tight, to keep her safe. There was a spare key in the kitchen. Elena just knew they were being cautious. Who wouldn't be, after all that had happened? Elena looked sideways at the sapphire blue dress on her bed, the one she had planned to wear. It reminded her of the one she'd worn for the Miss Mystic Falls contest. It wasn't the same - it was shorter, sleeker, off one shoulder and it would look good on her. But the colour was almost the same shade of stunning, blinding, sapphire blue. She hadn't shown Jenna or Jeremy it yet. She had wanted it to be a surprise. But even the dress was a reminder. It reminded her of that dance...with Damon. And of course, the pain of locking away Stefan that same day, due to the crazed bloodlust he'd been suffering.

No sooner had she remembered the event when her phone beeped noisily, announcing a text. She reached over to her bedside table, where she had left it earlier. She expected it to be from Jenna - a simple 'get well soon' was all she wanted. So it was hard not to be the surprised at the name next to the text, much less at what it said. The window sat there in all its digital glory, his name at the header of the little white box.

**Damon**

Why aren't you going to the party?

That was all. Elena wondered how he even knew; she supposed he must be in town. More to the fact, why did he care? They hadn't communicated at all for over three months now. He'd been out of the area a lot recently. Or ignoring her. She'd seen him briefly last month, downing shots at the Grill. Only for a few moments, before he realised her presence and vanished. Why had he been running? What was he afraid of? Her? Elena barely even thought about her reply before typing it and hitting send.

**Me**

Home sick.

She played with her phone idly, considering the reply. Why was she lying to everyone to these days? It was driving her crazy. She didn't tell the truth about her past to her friends at Duke - how could she? They would never understand her stories of vampires and werewolves, or even believe them. She was lying to Jenna for the same reason. She lied to Jeremy because no matter how much they patched up their relationship, it was still broken. She wasn't telling her old friends much because they were so far away, and that was as good as lying. She felt locked up, hidden away. She'd been lying for months - it would be nice to tell the truth for once. But she didn't. She never did.

It took only a minute or so before her text was answered. But not in the traditional method.

"You're a pathetic liar, Elena."

Elena sprang upright in shock, staring at the man behind the voice. She'd forgotten how they used to appear like that. Had it really been so long? His voice ran like velvet and liquor. Soft, sweet, and far more tempting than Elena cared to consider. She ignored her heart as she always did when Damon arrived and instead examined him. Although she had shirked the Masquerade, he was obviously going. He was all decked out in a black suit and everything. Damon didn't wear a suit unless he had to. Elena drank him in for a second. Had it really been so long? Had she really forgotten the way his hair was always so carelessly messy, the way his blue eyes pierced through anything in his way? But she couldn't contemplate for too long. Not with Damon.

"I am not," Elena protested, trying hard not to seem petulant. Damon smirked casually, leaning back against her window seat.

"Well, although you are home, you don't seem very sick. And I picked that up through this," Damon lectured her, waving his phone in one hand to illustrate his point. "So I'd say that's pretty pathetic." Elena sighed heavily, collapsing back onto her bed. Damon was sitting beside her head in an instant, peering down at her curiously. She'd forgotten how he used to do that, too. "So come on, spit. Why are you avoiding the party? Or is it my dashing good looks you're trying to avoid?" Damon baited her. Elena glared up at him for an instantly, silently rebuking his remark. Damon seemed nonplussed.

"I don't want to go, okay?" Elena insisted. She didn't want to explain herself to him. He was acting like the last year had never happened, like he'd never even left her, and she hated it. But at the same time, she needed someone to talk to, or she was going to explode. If it had to be Damon, well, maybe that was just the way it had to be. Besides, it wasn't like he would mock her or tell anyone. Not over her reasoning. And who would he tell?

"Why not?" Damon pushed.

"Because it hurts too much, okay? It reminds me of...well, everything." Elena burst out. Damon looked down at her for a moment, considering her. Elena had to stop herself from quailing under his curious, analytical gaze. He got up from her bed and moved to the bedroom door.

"Get changed," Damon commanded her as he walked away. Feeling stubborn and refusing to take instructions from him while he had his back to her, Elena protested.

"No. I don't want to go."

"Elena," Damon began, in one of his rare moments of clarity, when there was no cocky smirk or heartless facade. "After 145 years, you'll learn the only way to get over things is to get on with them. So get changed." He didn't give her a chance to reply - he was out her bedroom door before she could. Elena bit her lip slightly, running her fingers through her hair. Had he not spoken with such an honest tone in such plain terms, Elena might have defied him. But he was right. Goddammit, he was right. And with their relationship running such a fine line as it was, what choice did she have? It was either defy him, or lose him. Again.

Elena couldn't take loss. Not anymore.


	2. Stateless

_Thanks for the lovely reviews, guys! I really had no idea how this is going, it's just kind of falling out of my head. So it's nice to know something's right somewhere! xD Just to answer a semi-question, although this story is pretty much unplanned, I think some other members of the Mystic Falls crew will return back into Elena's life, yes. Although it would be nice to just have a little D/E bubble, I think it's a little unrealistic. ;) Again, let me know if you have anything to say about the chapters! I'd love to know what you think._

* * *

Of everything that had changed, Elena's house hadn't. Elena could still remember the first time Damon had been inside, using Caroline as his pass. He'd slipped into her life from that moment on. Of course, back then, he'd only been trying to irritate Stefan. To annoy him and get under his skin, and apparently, his arrival into her house that night had been one way of doing so. Even after all this time, Elena didn't try to understand the relationship between Damon and Stefan. It ran on so many levels, she just didn't get it. But of course, she didn't have to worry about that anymore. Stefan was gone. This return was probably just a blip on Damon's moral compass, and then he'd leave again too. She'd be alone again, and everything could go back to normal. Back to trying to forget. Back to being alone in a world of strangers. And analysing Damon and Stefan would be the very last thing on her to-do list.

After everything that had happened, Elena thought she might have had some reward for surviving. For being alive. For struggling through the drama. But instead, things were worse. Elena had lost everything she'd had. Everything apart from her looks, Elena amended, as she gazed at her reflection in the mirror. She still looked the same as she always had. The blue dress she wore was vibrant sapphire against her cream skin, and her makeup highlighted her features in just the right way. To her own view, she still looked sad. But she looked good at the same time. The blue dress was flattering, though. Yet even despite it all, she was alone. She couldn't attract new friends at Duke, even on the shallowest of reasons. Elena didn't know how to feel about anything anymore - it was all too hard, too confusing. It was easier just to shut it off. It wasn't like it was doing anyone any harm. She functioned. She smiled and talked and made all the right moves. But she just felt so sad, all the time. It was easier.

She remembered the days when she had used to get mad Damon for flicking the switch. For shutting down his emotions, for living a guilt free, reckless life. But that was before she understood why. Before she understood that sometimes, it was just easier to give up and hit an emotional shutdown, rather than trying to suffer through life. Yet Elena would never admit to herself that she was in a shutdown. After all, her level of shutdown was different to Damon's. She didn't run rampant, killing everyone in sight. So there was nothing similar at all, so they couldn't be the same. That was her theory. That she was normal, fine even, because she wasn't how Damon had been. She wasn't like him at all.

Elena lifted her mask from her dresser - an elegant blue lace creation that matched her dress - making for the bedroom door. She was finally happy with how she looked after twenty minutes of tweaking. She couldn't hear Damon downstairs, but she knew he was there. He wouldn't leave without her. Not now that she had agreed to going. Well - she hadn't agreed, precisely. But it was clear she had been forced into going. Besides, she was relatively sure Damon wouldn't leave this house without her.

Elena quietly left her bedroom, closing the door behind her. She was slow to descend the stairs, due to the height of her shoes. It had been a long time since she'd had a reason to wear heels like the ones she wore then. But she made it down the stairs without major event. And when she reached the bottom, Damon stood at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for her. He smirked casually as she eyed him. Elena wondered if he was happy now, satisfied he'd forced her into the dress and going to the stupid party.

"See, that's not so bad, is it?" he told her in a tone that was insultingly patronising. She hated it.

"I'm here. So can we go already?" Elena asked. She truly was unwilling, but she figured it was a torture that she had best get over with.

"I thought _you_ didn't want to go anywhere," Damon pointed out, still smirking. Elena was becoming more and more irritated with Damon by the second.

"I don't. But you won't let me live in peace, so what choice do I have?" Elena argued with him. Damon's amusement seemed to only deepen.

"So sorry for the inconvenience," Damon apologised insincerely. Elena sighed, making for the kitchen and the spare door key. She wondered what Damon's plan was. Why was he insisting on taking her to some silly dance? Who knew? Elena however, was aware that she was just going to have to go with it. It wasn't like Damon to explain his plans before he executed them. There was always a surprise in store with Damon around. She grabbed the door key and headed back to the entrance hall where Damon still stood. She made for the door, not even pausing. But Damon wouldn't let her go.

He grabbed her forearm, and Elena turned round to face him, her hair swishing with the movement.

"What?" Elena asked him, frustrated.

"It is a Masquerade Ball," Damon pointed out.

"So where's your mask?" Elena asked, trying not to lash out. Damon reached inside his suit jacket and held a simple black mask between his fingers, leaving in the air between them. "Great. So what's your point?"

Damon made no verbal response. He simply put his own black mask down on the nearest flat surface, and prised Elena's blue lace one from between her fingers. Holding her gaze, he held the mask up to her face before tying a neat bow at the back of her head with the blue ribbon, holding the mask in place. As Elena stared into Damon's eyes, she again wondered what he was doing. Three months away and he came back into her life and swept her off her feet. Who was he? What was he even thinking?

"Let's go," Elena said, trying to break the tension somehow. It was a futile attempt, she knew, but she was desperate. She'd forgotten how Damon used to make her feel. She had felt like she was moving on with her life, moving forward, forgetting about the past. Damon was too much a part of that past. The past that she was dying to forget. She'd lost Stefan already - she wasn't sure she could take the fact that Damon and Stefan had traditionally been a package deal. In her mind, she knew she'd be waiting for Stefan to arrive and start a futile argument with his brother over nothing. She couldn't take the waiting that her mind would being - with Damon back, Elena wouldn't be surprised if she started expecting Stefan to arrive back in town and sweep her off her feet - make her fall in love all over again. Elena just wasn't sure about anything anymore. That was what Damon did for her.

Just what she needed.

* * *

The party was electric. The atmosphere was alive and the Lockwood house glowed with life and music. People swarmed around the dance floor and the wine flowed. As Elena walked around, she was feeling like a rabbit in headlights. People were greeting her and smiling at her and Elena could barely work out who they were behind the masks. The music was drumming against her head as she was trying to push herself through the small spaces in the crowd. She wished she'd stayed at home. She wished Damon hadn't made her come. She couldn't handle all the people and the atmosphere. She couldn't handle the memories this house brought back to her.

Elena was treating Damon's hand on her back like a lifeline. She knew if she was left alone, she'd be lost. She'd be drowning in a sea of faces. She found herself completely unable to relax. Behind every mask she saw a threat, another vampire coming to kill her. In every glass she saw poison, or vervain that would destroy her sole protector. She was jumpy. She couldn't handle it. She'd been avoiding all the parties at Duke. But this was different. This was familiar, and the familiarity made it feel like insanely dangerous. Damon guided her to a relatively empty part of the room, and left her less than a minute. He returned with two crystal glasses, full of clear liquid. It could have been water, but Elena knew better. Damon gave Elena a glass and she drained it before Damon could say a word against it. Elena immediately gagged as the dryness hit the back of her throat, and Damon arched an eyebrow in surprise as Elena recovered.

"Steady there. Can't have you drunk before nine, now," Damon chided. Elena glared at him.

"Shut up. You made me come, so I'm here on my terms." Elena replied viciously.

"Hey, you're the one who's been moping," Damon said, sipping at his drink. Elena glared at him from the corner of her eye.

"Who says I've been moping?" Elena accused.

"I do. Every time you come back here, you sit at home mourning the past. I have news for you. The past is dead. You need to get up and move on. So if I have to drag you to a party to do that, then I will," Damon instructed her. Elena could already feel the alcohol taking effect - she knew it was by the words that fell from her mouth next, before she could even think about what she was saying.

"Who do you think you are? You don't get to just walk back into my life and start telling me how to live it. Three months, Damon. You haven't so much as said 'hi' to me in three months." Elena told him. She realised what she'd said a moment too late, and had to stop herself from quailing at Damon's stone cold gaze. She wished Damon had given her something weaker to drink. The alcohol was obviously going straight to her head - and her tongue.

"At least I came back," Damon shot at her, and Elena could feel the pain throbbing in her chest. He was right. At least he came back. As much as she loved her friends and respected their need for space, they'd all more or less abandoned her. Bonnie had walked away without a backwards glance. She'd severed all ties. Caroline barely even kept in touch any more. Their relationship wasn't like it used to be, anyway. Even Stefan had abandoned her when she'd said she couldn't go back to him. But Damon came back. It made her grateful. But she was far too angry to show it. Why had he decided to come back, anyway?

"Yeah, well, thanks a lot," Elena said venomously, before striding away, forcing her way through the people. She didn't hear Damon following. She was glad. She needed some space, some time to process. Honestly, she wouldn't put it past Damon to push her to her limits tonight. But maybe he had a point. Maybe she had been moping. She hadn't felt happy in ages. She hadn't felt like doing anything, to be honest. She was just pushing herself through university, forcing herself to wake up each morning, putting herself through the motions. Sometimes, it didn't even feel like it was worth it. So maybe Damon was right.

Maybe he was just trying to rescue her.

* * *

Damon watched her walk away. It took everything in his power not to follow her, not to go after her and drag her outside before telling her exactly what he thought. But he managed it. He downed the rest of the alcohol to try and distract himself. Stupid human girl. Why had he brought her here? What was the point if she was going to be so damn stubborn?

Before Damon could think it over too much, he found he had company. This mask thing wasn't really much of a disguise. It hadn't taken much for the kid to find him.

"Damon," Jeremy said by way of greeting.

"Jeremy," Damon responded with a kind of patronising levity. Jeremy ignored it.

"Thanks." Damon gazed over at Jeremy like he was crazy. The silver mask the kid was wearing was slightly skewed. He smelled like a girl's perfume. Damon smirked. At least Elena's brother wasn't as out of it as she was.

"For what, saving you from your date? I'll have her if you don't want her," Damon told him seriously. Again, Jeremy ignored Damon's baiting.

"For Elena." Jeremy clarified.

"For Elena? I haven't done anything but drag her ass out of the house and get her mad."

"Yeah. Thanks," Jeremy told him again. Damon raised a single brow in questioning.

"You're happy about that?" Damon checked.

"She's been pretty bad since everyone else left town. Nothing helps her. You make her feel again, even if you make her feel pissed," Jeremy explained. Damon considered Jeremy for a minute.

"Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure she's not happy about it," Damon told him.

"Being mad and upset at you is a few steps up from not feeling at all," Jeremy told him. Damon rolled his eyes at Jeremy.

"Go on kid, get back to your girl before she realises who she's been kissing." Damon told him. Jeremy grinned before wandering off. Damon would have sworn the kid might even have been blushing. But Damon had to admit one benefit of Jeremy's little confession.

It told him he was doing some good for a change.


	3. All I Need

Elena managed on her own for about five minutes. She was so blinded by rage and confusion when she walked away from Damon that she almost thought it was back to normal. Her instinct told her to go and find Caroline. Caroline would know what to do, Caroline would help. That was Elena's first thought. But then she remembered Caroline was in California. Through her anger, she blinked for a moment, and thought of Bonnie. But Bonnie was gone too. Elena didn't even know where Bonnie was. Elena stopped on the spot, thinking about what she was doing, where she was going. Then it hit her. She was alone. There was no one for her to run to anymore. There was no one left in Mystic Falls apart from her brother and her aunt. If she asked Jenna about this, she would flip. She couldn't ask Jeremy - besides, she wasn't stupid enough to interrupt him and Kate. And there was literally no one else for her to talk to. Elena had never felt more alone.

When Elena realised this, she stopped in the crowd, just at the edge of the dance floor, watching couples spin round the floor. All her old fears came back. That the masks were hiding more would be assassins and kidnappers. That someone in this crowd was out to hurt her, and that she was going to die if she didn't get home, now. But Elena couldn't even leave. She didn't know where Jenna was. She didn't know where Jeremy was. And she couldn't take their car home, either. So she was left relying on Damon. Elena wasn't sure she wanted to be reliant on Damon, but she was left with no choice. She couldn't take being alone for much longer. Elena began to wander around the edge of the dance floor, set out neatly in the Lockwood's garden. She was loathed to go running back to Damon. She was still mad at him. The emotion was so strong in her body that she couldn't even remember why she was mad at him.

As Elena walked, she picked up another drink, trying to sooth her frazzled nerves, and she thought about it, trying to distract herself from her situation. Damon. He'd left her. That was why she was mad. He'd packed up and walked out without so much as 'goodbye'. When Elena thought about it, the anger had probably been building for months. She remembered the day she'd discovered Damon was gone. Stefan had already left. So had Bonnie. Caroline, however, was still in town. By their standards, Caroline and Damon were on pretty good terms at that point. Caroline had told Elena he'd left. She said she'd gone by the boarding house, and Damon just wasn't there. Damon had left her a note. _'See you later, barbie.'_ That was it. He'd never even said a word to Elena about going. He'd just left. She hadn't seen him at all in July or August or most of September. Then Elena had left for Duke, so it wasn't like she'd been able to keep track. She'd only seen him a couple of times this month. And when she had seen him, he'd been drinking. How apt.

Maybe that was why she was so mad. Because he'd walked out on her, and now he thought he could just walk straight back in without any repercussions. If that was what he thought, Elena had news for him. Elena had been to hell and back, and now she was left on her own trying to sweep up the mess. If Damon thought he got to just turn up and act like nothing at all had happened, he was wrong. Elena couldn't let that happen. She might need him more than she wanted to admit right now, and she might like the fact he was back a little too much, but she couldn't let him back in easy. She wasn't that stupid. He hadn't even said goodbye. He'd run off and left her. She couldn't bear that.

Elena looked up across the dance floor with the swirling, spinning couples. Relief seeped through her body when she saw Damon standing on the other side of the floor. Elena walked around the edge, abandoning her empty glass on a nearby table, forcing herself not speed up or even run. She would be calm. She would be collected. Nothing would be wrong. She would be as normal as possible. Damon would gain nothing from her tonight. If he wanted something from her, he was going to have to work for it. After the way he left, she wasn't going to just forgive him. Not unless there was a psychopathic werewolf or vampire who had driven him out of town. She doubted this was true. She would have heard about it if it was.

Damon didn't acknowledge her when she reached his side. He just stood there, watching the people dancing on the makeshift floor. Elena bit her lip for a moment, waiting for Damon to say something. But no words came. Elena knew he was forcing her to break the silence. Pushing her like he always did. "I didn't mean it," Elena spoke, resigned to breaking the silence.

"Sorry, Elena?" Damon said, with a sweetness that stank of poison. She wasn't sure she could blame him.

"I am glad you came back," Elena said quietly. She spoke so softly that she was sure no one even heard her. If Damon had been human, Elena was sure he wouldn't have heard her. But Damon wasn't human. He never had been around her - not really. So Elena was sure Damon had heard her. Especially by the way Damon looked down at her, with a look that could burn holes in Elena's soul. Elena refused to look away, refusing to give in to Damon. He smirked in something like a laugh, but not quite there.

"Yeah, well, nice to know someone missed me," Damon said flippantly. Elena sighed slightly at the way he had to make every sincere moment into a joke. She hated it. Why couldn't he just take things seriously? Just for once?

The song that was played drifted to an end, and a new melody started up. Elena listened to it wistfully, recognising the song. Her mother used to play it around the house when she was young. It was one of the few pieces of orchestral music her mother could stand. She and Elena had used to dance around to it. The music struck a chord in Elena, one she'd forgotten had even existed. Then Elena was surprised by the next words that fell from Damon's lips.

"Would you like to dance, Elena?"

She looked up at Damon in shock. He was serious, however. His crystal blue eyes were burning again, the intense blue flame burning its way to her core. Damon smirked at Elena's surprise. "Can't come to a nice party like this and not even dance," Damon admonished her. He held out his hand for her. Elena hesitated for a moment before taking his hand. He spun her under his arm like an expert before taking her in hold. Elena found herself so close to him that it was hard to breathe, hard to escape his eyes. Damon could feel the tension in her body.

"Relax, Elena. You're safe." Damon reassured her. "I'm not about to let anyone damage you." Elena nodded her head gently.

"I know," Elena said quietly. Damon's brow furrowed, as he looked down at Elena in puzzlement.

"Then why are you so nervous?" Damon asked, guiding Elena around the floor with a strong force. Elena couldn't have broken Damon's hold even if she'd wanted to.

"Because - oh never mind. When did you learn to dance?" Elena made an attempt to change the subject completely. The truth was, Elena didn't know why was she was so tense. She'd been fine with Damon - jumpy on her own, but with Damon by her side, she had felt okay. As okay as she got these days. But the moment Damon had taken her in hold, Elena had felt her heart start to race, and her muscles tighten. And she had no idea why. She'd never felt so thrilled and so helpless at the same time.

Damon seemed to consider pressing the point for a moment, before he thought better of it. "Oh, every good Southern gentleman had to be able to dance," Damon told her, trying to make nothing of the subject, but Elena was instantly fascinated.

"What, you had to dance to get the girl?" Elena said, amused by the thought. If a woman was to pick a man by his dancing skills now, there would be many, many single men in the world. She was also amused by the image she had in her mind - a young girl in period dress, picking her husband on the skill of his waltz. Elena had to repress a smile. The expression felt too foreign on her face.

"Not quite. It was the 1860s. They had weird traditions." Damon told her. Elena would have shrugged, but Damon's iron frame was restricting her movement.

"We have weird traditions," Elena said simply.

"Oh really? Like?" Damon sounded genuinely curious. Elena went into a half panic in her mind. She didn't know what to say. She had nothing to say. Whatever she'd been thinking of, the humour in Damon's face had dragged it away. She was caught up in the way he was looking her - and how she'd missed it. Why did she miss it?

The silence obviously tipped Damon off to the fact something was wrong. "Okay then, I'll let you get back to me on that." Damon told her. Elena didn't respond. She was focussing on the dance, the way it was gathering her up and dragging her away to a place she'd all but forgotten. Dancing with Damon...it was striking out to her core, swelling something deep within her chest. Elena couldn't deny she felt something. She didn't know what, but something was there. But that wasn't what concerned her. It was the fact that Elena was coming to the conclusion she hadn't felt like this for months. She couldn't even say she'd felt anything in months. Her mind was racing over the time since everyone had started to leave her. In fact, Elena felt like she could almost date the last time she'd felt anything. The day she'd told Stefan no; no, she couldn't be with him anymore.

Elena remembered the intense pain of that night, the way she'd curled up in her room and hoped that the world would just collapse in on itself and take her away. At least that would stop the pain. Anything that would stop the pain would be a relief. It had been days before she'd gotten back to a level of functioning. Only that day was quickly followed by Bonnie announcing her departure, and then Stefan himself had shipped out only a few weeks later. It had been over that time Elena had been slipping into decline. And after that...Elena couldn't remember much at all. She couldn't remember feeling particularly happy or sad or nervous or excited about anything. Not even her first day at Duke. It was all just a haze of moments. Elena blinked, the surprise growing in her. She looked up at Damon. He looked only mildly curious.

Then Elena thought she understood. Damon had seen her shutting down, every time they were in town together. He had seen what she was turning into. But Elena wasn't sure if she wanted to be saved. She really wasn't sure it was that simple, either. She couldn't just walk back into old Elena. Old Elena was gone. Elena still wasn't sure what part of her was left.

Elena held Damon's curious gaze for a moment, listening to the music sweep them into another world, swishing into an elaborate crescendo before fading away. They had stopped before Elena was really aware that the song had ended. Damon and Elena stood facing each other. Elena didn't know what to say after her little epiphany. Even Damon was speechless from the mood of the dance. The silence held for only another moment.

"I'll go get us more drinks, shall I?" Damon said, letting go of Elena and leading her off of the dance floor.

"Please," Elena said enthusiastically. The night had only just begun and Elena had already had too much to handle. If the whole party was going to be like this, she was going to need more alcohol. As Damon walked a few feet away to the drinks table someone had thought to put outside, Elena smiled. Whereas old Elena would have rejected alcohol, it was clear to her that new Elena liked a drink.

Maybe new Elena was just less confident at the moment. Time would tell.


	4. Goodbye Yesterday

_Thanks for all the lovely reviews again. The encouragement is fabulous. Big shout outs to kat and joejonasluver18 in particular, you're making me feel like this isn't complete OoC nonsense, which I do worry about sometimes. I'm hoping the plot will pick up a bit once Elena gets back to Duke, so you may or may not have to forgive all the fluff. Once again, don't be afraid to review and let me know what you think!_

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There was a screaming buzz in her ears, as her whole head rang. Her temples pulsed and her throat felt dry. She felt like she wanted to throw up. Elena knew a hangover when she saw one. Blearily opening her eyes, she wondered how much she'd drunk last night. She'd been at the Masquerade Ball...and Damon had been there...

Elena had to stop herself from springing up and making herself decidedly ill. Damon! How could she have forgotten about him? He was the reason she'd left the house in the first place. As Elena moved slightly, she decided her hangover was probably only minor compared to some of Jenna's mornings. Elena could freely admit she wouldn't normally have been drinking at all. But she'd been so nervous, and she'd just wanted to relax, take the edge off. That was what they all said about alcohol, right? It took the edge off. Elena groaned. Silly, naive girl. What had she expected? Admittedly, Elena had a vague memory of Damon, telling her to stop. But now, all her memories seemed hazy. She remembered Damon stopping her though. After that fourth glass, he'd made her stop. She was aware of that much.

As for the rest of the night, Elena felt lost. She could vaguely remember fighting with Damon...thinking that he'd come back to save her from herself. Elena laughed weakly at the thought. Damon Salvatore, returned to be her Prince, and save her from the ivory tower and the wicked witch? In what reality was that possible? It certainly wasn't even plausible in the world Elena knew. Elena remembered the dance. She'd probably already been influenced by the drinks she'd had then. What else would encourage her to feel how she seemed to remember feeling? Elena had to stop herself from shuddering at the thought. Last night, she'd almost felt something, dancing with Damon. But how could she? Despite the break up and the heartache, Elena knew she was still hurting from Stefan. Her head may have ended their romance, but her heart hadn't received the message yet. How could Elena even consider getting into a relationship again after Stefan? More than that, with his _brother_? She'd be crazy. Insane. Of course, Elena was sure she'd reached the crazy limit a few months ago, so she supposed anything was possible. But not that. Anything but that.

Elena rolled over, her head spinning as she stared at her alarm clock. The neon numbers blurred and glowed in front of her eyes, dancing just out of sight until they focused into a time. 11:30. It was at least a three hour drive back to Duke. Plus it was Sunday. Elena had class tomorrow morning, and she was meant to have left half an hour ago. Elena usually stopped someplace in the journey, stretching the time out even further. And she'd told her roommate to expect her back for the evening. They'd probably order in pizza. Elena was going to have to move soon if she wanted to make it back in time.

She kicked the covers back, and swung her legs out of bed. She walked over to her window and threw the curtains open, and the morning Virginia sunshine streamed in. Elena blinked against the strong light, which only made her head pound even more. A crow was settled in the tree across the street. As Elena watched she became oddly unsettled by the bird - it was almost like it was watching her. Elena shook her head, turning away and dragging her hand through her hair. The alcohol was clearly still addling with her brain. After all, it was just a crow.

After Elena had showered and got herself packed up, she could feel her head clearing. The ringing faded to a bearable level, and although her throat was still dry, she felt better. She was better. She headed downstairs into the kitchen, hoping to grab something to eat before she left. When she got there, though, someone was waiting for her.

Jeremy looked up at his sister, smiling lazily at her. "Hey. How'd you feel?" he asked, vaguely aware that she'd been drinking a bit last night. Elena smiled back, heading for the toaster.

"I've been worse," Elena conceded, dropping a slice of bread into the toaster. "Where's Jenna?"

"She went out for a couple of things from the store," Jeremy said, putting his phone down on the kitchen island. "She wanted to see you before you left, though," Jeremy said. Elena's eyes flashed from her brother's phone to his tired, happy eyes. Elena smiled slightly.

"How's Kate?" Elena asked casually. Jeremy shrugged.

"She's fine. She had fun last night. But forget me, what about you?" Jeremy pressed. Elena's brow creased slightly with confusion.

"I'm fine. My head's still buzzing, but I'm fine." Elena was painfully aware this was her standard deflection. She used it all the time. 'Your parents just died, how do you feel?' 'Your boyfriend's psychopathic ex just tried to kill someone again, how do you feel?' 'There's a murderous group of vampires after your head, how do you feel?' Elena always came up as fine. It was her answer for when she really didn't want to think about how she felt. Elena was on autopilot. She spoke without thinking, hoping Jeremy would drop it. He wasn't so easily distracted, however.

"I thought you weren't going to bother with the party," Jeremy pressed. Elena shrugged, not making a reply. "So Damon made you go. But you had fun right? You looked pretty happy."

"I don't know, Jer, okay? My head's still spinning from the whole thing. But you and Kate looked like _you _were having fun. I'm happy for you." Elena spoke while handling her fresh toast, spreading jam on the bread quickly. Jeremy was silent. Elena turned back around to glance at her brother. He was sitting there, grinning like an idiot. "What?" Elena asked, curious.

"That's the first time you've said that. About me and Kate." Jeremy told her. Elena looked at him, puzzled.

"That you looked like you were having fun?" Elena asked, trying to clarify.

"No. That you liked us together," Jeremy told her. Elena thought about it. She'd never said she was unhappy either.

"Oh. Well, I do." Elena informed him, turning back to the safety of her toast. She was confused. She didn't understand Jeremy's point. Jeremy knew that his sister failed to get what he was saying, but he didn't want to tell her for fear of driving her off. Because it was the first time he'd heard any kind of real emotion from his sister in months. Anything else had been courtesy, on her other weekend visits home. But now she had actually spoken of her own accord, and she'd said something that _meant _something. Jeremy didn't like the fact that it had taken Damon Salvatore to snap her back to reality. But he would take it. He could tell progress would be slow, but with Elena, he would take whatever came.

After all, you had to crawl before you could run.

Elena might have pushed her brother about the whole aspect a little further, but she was cut off by the doorbell ringing. Jeremy got up from his seat, wandering down the hall, muttering something about Jenna learning how to bring shopping in and remember her key. Elena sighed, distracting herself with her toast. She took a bite of the bread, chewing, forcing the food down her throat. As she ate, Elena dug herself out a glass, filling it with fresh, cool water. The thirst had been driving her crazy more than anything. She'd need to fill her car with at least four bottles of water before she left.

The sound of the door closing was quiet, but Elena heard it clearly enough. She ate some more of her toast, listening to the tempo of steps coming down the hall. Elena turned towards the kitchen doorway, wanting to press Jeremy further. What had he meant by his comment? What was his point? Had she really been so switched off for the last four months that she hadn't even passed a comment on her brother's new romance? And if so, how pathetic had she been? Elena would never forgive herself, for hitting a minor depression over this. Elena wanted her brother to tell her exactly how bad she'd been, so she could work out what had started to drag her out of it. Copious amounts of alcohol (by her standards, anyway, which were decidedly low)? Going to the stupid party (which maybe hadn't been so stupid after all)? Or was it something more subtle, deeper? (Elena refused to turn _his_ name into an answer for anything.) But Elena was disappointed when she looked up. Her brother wasn't standing in the kitchen doorway.

Damon was.

Elena's eyes widened slightly in surprise as Damon sauntered in clad in his usual black armour. He'd always looked out of place in her kitchen, Elena thought. Well, at least while he was being usual, leather-jacket clad 'terror' Damon. When he was caught in one of his oddly domestic moods, things were different. But when he came in like this, Elena was always thrown off balance by the incompatibility of her safe home life and the vampire life that Damon seemed to be an integral part of. The words spilled from Elena's lips before she had thought about it. It was too early in the day to think. "Damon, what are you doing here?"

"Good morning to you too, Elena" Damon teased her viciously, a satisfied smirk on his face. Elena had to stop herself from reacting physically. Typical, Damon. Just typical. Elena picked up her glass of water, watching Damon closely.

"Seriously, what do you want?" Elena continued on blindly. Damon walked over to the kitchen island, picking up an orange from the fruit bowl, loosely tossing it up in the air.

"I came to say goodbye," Damon told her. Elena could feel her pulse pick up slightly. He was leaving. Again. He'd barely been back twenty-four hours, and he was off again. This would be it. She'd never see him again. He'd live out his days on Hawaii with a couple of surfer babes in wetsuits and bikinis. At least, he'd live out the rest of _her_ life there. Elena was well aware that Damon would still be breaking hearts and ruining lives long after she'd gone. At least, this was what she told herself. But then, if she was so sure and steady about how he'd live, why was she so panicked to hear he was going to leave? Why was she so worried about his permanent departure? If she wanted to move past the events of the last few years of her life, she'd need to forget more or less everything attached to that world - including Damon.

But why did she want him to stay?

"You're leaving?" Elena pulled it off much better than she would have imagined. She didn't sound panicked. She didn't sound strained or worried or even concerned. Just pleasantly surprised. Elena wondered if she should have gone into acting, not medicine. But medicine had been her choice. After all the pain and sorrow she'd seen, it felt nice to be able to heal something for a change. She knew most people saw it as a desperate attempt to reconnect with her parents. After all, her father had been a doctor. And although Elena thought about him when she was in class, that wasn't why she'd chosen medicine. Besides, she didn't want to be a doctor. She wanted to be a nurse. She didn't want to sit in an office and file paper and diagnose patients and let lesser people handle the rest. Elena wanted to be there, on the front line. She wanted to make a difference. And secretly, deep inside, she guessed there probably was a part of her that wanted to make her parents proud.

Damon shrugged at her comment, watching Elena as she ate another bite of toast. Elena tried not to be disturbed by his penetrating gaze, but it was hard. She could feel the shivers running up her spine already. "Well, you're going back to Duke, right?" Damon clarified. Elena looked at him curiously. So did this mean he was only leaving because she was? Elena was gripped with a mad desire to drop Duke and stay if that was what it took to make him stick around. She'd missed him when he left. More than the others because he had just _left_. All the others had made their peace and said their goodbyes. But Damon had walked away without a backwards glance, leaving Elena speculating over why he was gone. It was crazy, but it was also true. Elena didn't want to explain it. She always said she missed the safety. Damon had been her protector. Being without him made her feel vulnerable. But she could deal with it. She could get used to it. She refused to be dependent on Damon forevermore.

Nodding in response to Damon's question, she watched as he began idly tossing the orange between his hands again. "Then what else am I going to stay for?" Damon asked her. Elena opened her mouth to reply, but closed it again when she realised she didn't have an answer. Stefan was gone. Damon could find him, but after all that had happened, Elena doubted that he'd want to. Damon had only been in town for Stefan and Katherine in the first place. Even most of the old gang had gone, if Damon had felt any connection to them whatsoever. Bonnie was in self isolation and exile, Caroline (who had never been best friends with Damon anyway) was in Los Angeles with Tyler... there was really no one of consequence left in Mystic Falls. Not for Damon, anyway. No one, that was, apart from her, on the odd weekends she returned. Elena had once told Damon that he'd lost her forever. That had been a lie - through the course of events, they'd somehow ended up friends again anyway. She hated how he did that. Elena also felt cheated thanks to Damon's vanishing act, but their relationship was as close as Damon ever got to a friendship, anyway.

"So are you going to vanish of the face of the earth again, or will you phone me to death instead?" Elena asked with a hint of frustration in her tone. Damon looked at her curiously. Elena couldn't help but notice the increasingly infamous 'eye thing'.

"Do you want to be called to death?" Damon asked her. Elena shrugged.

"It just seems weird that you turn up yesterday and then shoot off again before I can even being to get things straight." Elena told him sedately, finishing off her toast before sipping at her water. Damon was smiling smugly.

"Well, you know, I don't think I'm going too far. I hear Durham is great at this time of year." Damon told her. Elena stared at him for a moment, putting her glass down on the kitchen counter. She made to walk towards Damon, but ended up stumbling over her own feet. The hangover obviously wasn't quite as minor as she had thought. However, she caught herself before she smacked into the floor. When Elena recovered, she was slightly surprised to find Damon at her side, his hands hovering over concernedly, as if to help her, to catch her before she fell. He backed away fairly quickly, though. "Are you sure you should be driving all the way back to Duke today? You did have quite a few shots last night." Damon told her. Elena took it to be patronising, but chose to entertain him, anyway.

"What would you suggest, Dr. Salvatore? I do have class tomorrow." Damon smirked at her comment.

"Well, I would normally diagnose rest and lots of water, but since you do have _class _ tomorrow, I don't think you should go back to Duke alone, anyway," Damon told her. Elena sighed, turning back to her water. She was safer while chugging some fluid, clearly. It didn't matter what Damon said, she had to go alone. She was careful to explain this to Damon, too.

"Well, Jenna has better things to do than make an eight hour round trip to North Carolina, and I don't think Jeremy is the best idea, either. So I'm going to have to ignore your well thought out advice."

Damon smirked. "Who said I was thinking of them?"

Elena stared at Damon for only a moment, before realising what he'd meant.

"Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. You are not driving me back to Duke. No way." Elena protested. Damon smirked at her tossing the orange back into the fruit bowl.

"Come on, I've done it before." Damon said, as if trying to ask her what the big deal was. Elena, sipping at her water again to give her hands something to do. Elena shook her head.

"That was different." Elena said flatly.

"Not _so_ different," Damon insisted. "Elena. What do you think I'd do if you crashed your car on the way there?"

"No. I'm not letting you drive me all the way to North Carolina. How would you get back here?" Elena said. She was desperate to find a reason for him to stay.

"Didn't I mention I was leaving? Besides, how do you think we got around _before_ the invention of things like your little sports coupe?" Elena didn't reply, obviously wrestling with the issue. She didn't _feel_ so drunk, but likewise, she didn't want to crash and die. Elena was feeling many things these days, but suicidal wasn't one of them. The gap stretched, and Damon looked so _hopeful. _Elena sighed.

"Fine. One trip."

"See, you _can _be reasonable," Damon told her. Elena held up a finger to silence him.

"This is only because I'm probably still too drunk to drive. Don't read into this as one of your little deep-and-meaningful moments, please."

"Since when have I done that?" Damon asked, clearly confused. Elena sighed, turned and picked up her glass, swallowing the last of her water and began to head out of the kitchen. She paused briefly, thinking things through.

"And Damon?"

"Yes, Elena?" Damon asked with false obedience.

"Jenna does not need to know about this." Elena spoke in a tone that made it clear the matter wasn't up for negotiation. Damon rolled his eyes.

"Fine. Drop by the boarding house when you've said all your little tearful goodbyes."

Elena didn't even have time to respond before Damon was gone, like a ghost that had never even existed. She sighed, heading upstairs to get herself ready. It was going to be a long drive.


	5. Back On The Road Again

_Took a little bit longer with this, and I'll admit, it's a little bit of a fluff filler. Hope you guys don't mind too much. Again, thank you for all the support, you guys are awesome and I am honestly glad for every review, favourite and alert I get. :) And just as a quick disclaimer, I am in no way associated with any of the bands mentioned. I just think they're either apt for Damon or Elena, or I adore their music. ;)_

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Elena found herself unable to berate Damon's plan when she promptly fell asleep before they'd even left Mystic Falls. Elena had said her goodbyes to Jenna and Jeremy, and silently noted that she'd need to call her brother and ask him just what he'd meant in the kitchen. Then she'd driven her car round to the old Salvatore boarding house, and crept inside carefully. She hadn't been by the boarding house in months. There were too many memories of this old place, and she'd found herself terminally unable to move past them. The house felt empty - Elena supposed it was because she knew Stefan wouldn't be here. Because she knew that Damon was leaving with her. Elena wondered what would happen to the place. Not that it was any of her concern.

Damon had been waiting for her. He had nothing but a small duffel bag at his feet. Elena had eyed it suspiciously, but knew better than to ask what was in it. Knowing Damon, it would be something that would make her wish she had never asked. Elena didn't know why this felt like she was leaving her home town forever, but it did. She had to keep telling herself that she could come back whenever she liked, and she'd probably be back home for the holidays soon, anyway. But it felt oddly sad and empty, watching Damon walk out of the boarding house. Elena hadn't said much before she'd dropped off to sleep again - she'd given Damon her car keys and told him to look after it. They'd barely been on the road five minutes when she passed out.

Elena wondered whether it was the semi-hangover or just sheer exhaustion from the night before, but she slept dreamlessly. She shut her eyes, and then the next moment, once she opened them again, they were out on the open road. Elena groaned slightly at her sleepiness. She was hopeless - a night out and she was unable to function the next day. Elena rubbed her face, trying to wake herself up. She looked over to the driver's side of the car, and sure enough, there was Damon, driving with one hand on the wheel, completely lax. He had the stereo on. He was listening to The Rolling Stones. Elena grabbed a bottle of water from the door pocket where she'd stashed it before she'd left the house.

"How long was I out?" Elena asked. Damon looked over at her briefly, shrugging before turning his eyes back to the road.

"Half an hour or so? I honestly haven't been paying attention to your sleep patterns. Trying to find a decent radio station around here is a _nightmare._" Damon spoke like it was the crime of the century, but Elena knew he was joking.

"The Rolling Stones?" Elena asked, curious about his choice of music.

"What, you don't like them?" Damon asked her. Elena shrugged.

"Not really," Elena admitted. The classic rock was more Jeremy's end of the scale. Elena was mellower, laid back. She could stand rock bands, but it wasn't her favourite. Damon glanced at her again, as if he was trying to decide how this fact changed his opinion of her. Elena noticed this. "You're going to tell me they're your favourite band, aren't you?" Damon shrugged.

"Saw them back in '66 in New York. The Stones had some real nice groupies." Elena looked at Damon, taking a slug from her water bottle before slipping it back into the car door pocket. It was weird, but the fact made Damon seem oddly human. She'd never thought about Damon Salvatore being connected to silly, trivial things like favourite bands. Even though they were talking about an event that had taken place over twenty five years before she was even born, Damon had never felt more real to her. Not for a long time, anyway. Elena stared out at the road, trying to clear her mind. Obviously, the alcohol was doing far more damage than she'd thought. She reminded herself never to go off the rails like that again. She'd been so careful for the last few months - what a way to blow it all out of the ocean.

"Trust you to think of the groupies," Elena muttered under her breath. Damon smirked. Elena had to stop herself from sighing - for someone so completely volatile, he was so predictable sometimes.

"So come on then, if you don't like rock, what do you like?" Damon asked. Elena opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn't decide on what to say. In what seemed like another lifetime, before her parents died, Elena had loved dance music. Anything with a beat, anything she could just let loose and go wild to. But after her parents died, that kind of music had seemed wildly inappropriate. Elena had moved to the softer, mellower music, and had also taken to listening to some of her mother's old swing and jazz collections. Smooth, easy songs like 'Mack the Knife' had been the closest she'd gotten to upbeat. And then with all the vampire craziness, Elena had barely had time to listen to music. Anything new she'd listened to in the last four months could also be categorised quite nicely - 'break up songs'.

Elena settled for the middle ground. Something she knew she'd still like in twenty years time. "Jazz. You know the big band stuff that's only good when it's live." Damon looked at her like he was genuinely surprised.

"You don't seem like the jazz type." Damon told her.

"My mother was. Your parents play something they like loud enough, and then you end up liking it too. Didn't that ever happen to you?" Elena asked. Damon shrugged.

"My mother died when I was young. My father and I didn't get on much - I liked to rebel against everything he tried to make me be. So no, it didn't." Damon spoke with the kind of cold detachment that scared Elena half to death. It was the 'I don't care' tone Damon used. Elena knew fine well it was a cover up, because Damon didn't want to show how he really felt. She hated it. She hated when he tried to close himself off like this. But on this particular point, Elena knew it would be foolish to push him.

"Frank Sinatra." Elena blurted, trying to draw the subject to something less painful. Parents were a touchy subject for both of them.

"What?" Damon asked.

"Sinatra. I like him." Elena clarified. Damon shrugged.

"Each to his own. Could be worse, I suppose." Damon reasoned. Elena arched an eyebrow.

"Glad you approve, Mr Salvatore," Elena said, in a way that made it clear that she didn't care if he approved or not.

"Any time, Miss Gilbert." Damon replied, his ever present cocky grin back in place. Elena sighed, turning her head to look out the side window. How could he be so casual? He had left her for months on end, and had spent some time drinking (after all, she'd seen him at the Grill). He'd walked out of her life without a backwards glance or a parting word, and now he waltzed back in like nothing had changed. Elena had tried to stay mad at him. She'd tried to be harsh, to tell him no, he did not get to act like nothing happened. But she was failing. Why did she always fail at keeping Damon Salvatore out? Was it really so hard, so complicated? Elena couldn't see why it would be, but the evidence said otherwise. It had been less than a day, and already they were casually discussing music tastes. Where was the justice? Elena had been in pain over him and everyone else leaving her alone for _months_, and now she had the chance to retaliate, she just let it slide by. She was pathetic. Elena hated her sense of righteousness. It was twisted when it came to Damon.

Damon was obviously in some sort of perceptive mood, however, because Elena found that she wasn't left alone for long. "You're upset with me." Damon said. It was a statement, not a question. "If it was the Sinatra comment, I take it all back." Damon promised her. Elena sighed, glancing over at him. He was trying to look innocent, but with Damon, it just didn't work.

"It's not about Sinatra. You left, Damon. You didn't even tell me you were leaving. You could have been dead in a ditch for all I knew," Elena told him.

"Not likely," Damon scoffed. Elena stared at him.

"That's not the point and you know it." Damon didn't even respond. Silence crawled out until Elena couldn't handle his detachment anymore. "Why did you leave?" Elena pushed. She knew there was a reason, and it was close. She could almost see it there, just out of reach, locked up inside Damon's puzzle of a mind. For a moment, Elena thought he was going to answer. But then the radio started playing a new song and Elena knew he wasn't going to. She sighed, exasperatedly, looking back out of the passenger window, staring at the scenery flashing past. The sounds of Queen echoed around her mind, devouring all the thoughts of disappointment and anger simmering in her mind. Elena focused on the music - better than concentrating on the alternative.

"I left because I had to." Damon said, so softly that Elena almost missed it. She peered back over at Damon, his eyes dead ahead, driving down the road. Elena's brow creased. It was better than no answer at all, sure enough, but it was still evasive. After all they'd been through; he still refused to tell her things. Elena supposed she shouldn't be surprised - this was Damon they were talking about.

"Don't pretend that I'm the only one who walked away from that town, Elena. Because you know I'm not." Damon warned her. Elena cast her eyes downwards guiltily. He was right. Everyone else had cut and run. Why was he different? Why should he be different?

"At least they had the decency to say goodbye." Elena protested. Damon smiled vaguely at some joke Elena obviously didn't get. However, he just turned his attention back to the road and shut her out. Elena watched out the window once more, deciding it was safer. Deep down inside, Elena knew that the fact they had said goodbye made no difference at all. Damon was just different. Why was he different? She still missed Stefan, didn't she? And she missed Caroline and Bonnie too. So why was she mad at Damon for leaving? Maybe it was just showing because he had come back.

Not wanting to reason it out any longer, Elena distracted herself by leaning over and turning up the radio, letting the hammering notes of Damon's classic rock take over her brain. It was easier that way. She refused to let herself think of all the evasions.

Why did she always give up and take the easy option?

Silence spun out for minutes on end, with nothing said but the words of the music. Elena had given up on Damon a long time ago. After what seemed like an eternity, Damon changed the radio station when the signal on the rock station got so poor, the stereo was hissing more than it was playing music. Damon pushed in the button for Elena's number one preset station. He arched an eyebrow when jazz music replaced the hissing rock. He looked sideways at Elena, who was still distracted, gazing out the window. "Really?" he asked, like he was genuinely surprised.

Elena shrugged. "I honestly can't stand most of the radio stations around here. Too mainstream." Damon tilted his head slightly, considering the alternatives.

"True. We seem to have moved into the age of terrible music being standard." Elena listened to the notes of the music for a moment, feeling herself relaxing already.

"Can you honestly say you've never once thought this was the most perfect music on earth?" Elena asked. Damon seemed to think about.

"There was once. Jazz club. 19...45, maybe? Best night of my life," Damon conceded, grinning. Elena knew he was joking.

"Did it involve alcohol and women?" Elena mocked.

"Oh, most nights of my life involve one or the other. The very best involve both." That cocky smirk was plastered all over his face again. Elena knew he was teasing her, and he didn't mean that night at all, but Elena remembered one particular night, that had involved plenty of alcohol and one particular woman. The night after it was all over. Stefan had been out, being responsible and doing damage control, taking care of Bonnie and Caroline. He'd entrusted her to Damon, and they had been the only two in the boarding house. He'd drunk something in celebration, although he hadn't been literally drunk. But it had involved alcohol. And despite the fact they had just been sitting together, laughing, joking and celebrating, Elena was still a woman. But Damon wouldn't mean that one night of celebration. He would never mean that.

But wasn't it sad that her mind jumped to it when he spoke of that situation?

"Sometimes I worry about you, Mr. Salvatore," Elena teased back, trying not to smile.

"Oh, really? Why ever would you do that?"

"Because one day you're going to grow out of spirits and girls, and where will you be then?" Elena proposed. Damon smirked at her amused.

"Then let's hope that day is very far away." Damon said. A tiny little thought crept into Elena's mind, one that she battered away before it could make an impact. But she'd gotten the message.

'_What if he's saying that because there really is nothing else?'_

Elena had never imagined eternity in this world to be quite such an empty and lonely place.

Damon pulled over into a cafe just over the North Carolina border, the one Elena normally stopped at. They had made good time, but it was still another two hours back to Duke. Damon had also made a point of informing her that he didn't like her car that much. He wanted his Chevy back. Elena had, again, been struck by how much of a _guy_ Damon was, under all the vampire bravado. But she supposed they'd never really had a chance to just be Damon and Elena in their time together. It had always been tainted by the events in town, marking out the distinction between them. But now, it was easier to miss. Easier to see Damon as a person who loved The Rolling Stones and loved classic cars. Elena couldn't deny it any more.

She'd missed Damon the most because she didn't know him. She _knew_ him, but there were so many missed opportunities when it came to Damon. Blanks that had never been filled in. She wanted to know Damon. And in all honesty, Elena thought that she really needed a familiar face. There was no glitch in their pit stop. Damon teased her for adding sugar to her coffee. She teased him back over some other nonsense. The only slight blip was a man sitting at the opposite side of the cafe. He stared at her like she was a ghost, before getting up and leaving, never once looking away from her. But Elena dismissed it. She had been seeing demons and killers in every corner of her life recently. Besides she was with Damon. With Damon, she was safe.

(With Damon, she was home.)


	6. Worlds Apart

_Again, I thank everyone for their lovely reviews. You guys are really keeping me going! And just to clarify on one point, I really have no idea how long this story will be. I have some ideas for future chapters, but I guess I'll just need to see where this goes! Again, all reviews you give me are read and deeply appreciated. So if you've got any thoughts on the story, please let me know! :)_

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It was raining when they pulled up outside Elena's block. Damon couldn't help but gaze up at the three story building, obviously not the standard halls most first years made it into. "And you're sure this is _your_ house, Elena?" Damon teased. Elena sighed, rolling her eyes before getting out of the car into the middle of a late October shower. Damon followed her actions, getting out of the car and staring at Elena over the roof of her car. Elena just looked back at Damon, humouring him as the rain came down.

"Do you think I would make you take me here just to impress you?" Elena asked, eyebrows raised, a smile playing across her lips. Damon paused, watching her, hardly even aware of the weather. Why did she have to do that? It just reminded him of everything he tried to forget when she was around. Damon watched as she opened the boot, lifting her bag from the back of her car. Damon flashed over to stand just beside her with the speed only a vampire could achieve. Elena looked up, starting slightly at his sudden appearance. Damon said nothing, just smirking knowingly, watching her. Elena looked at Damon. "I'm not trying to impress you, Damon." Elena pressed.

Damon didn't speak, but he heard his response ringing in his ears. _'Good. You don't have to.'_ Damon's only external response was to hold out Elena's car key, letting it hang in the space between them. But inside, his mind was reeling. Why had he bothered to come back? She tore him up every damn time he so much as _looked_ at her. But she'd always done that. First time he'd ever seen Elena, he'd been half-crazed by the fact she looked like Katherine. Of course, that was before he realised he'd been a deluded, obsessive fool for a hundred and forty five years.

What a way to waste a century and a half.

And then after that, Elena had still driven him crazy. She'd felt something for him. She'd clearly understood him on some level which was a severe novelty. But she wouldn't admit it. She wanted to hate him. That drove him _insane_. And then, of course, he'd been pushed off the deep end when she'd gone on her little suicide missions to be all noble and self-sacrificing. He'd saved her every time, of course. Damon wondered why he hadn't snapped more often around her - she had destroyed him in every way possible.

More to the fact, why was he even here?

Elena took her keys from his hand, watching him as he lifted his bag from her car. She closed it up and locked it tight, before heading into the building they'd parked just outside. It looked modern, plush, up to date, but also fairly compact. But it was secure. Elena had to pull out a key just to get in the front door. She opened the door for them both and Damon followed her in silently. She immediately headed up the concrete stairs, passing by four doors with silver numbers drilled on the front. The place was also remarkably clean. Considering Elena was a lowly student, it was hard for Damon not to admit he was impressed she'd gotten in this place. His curiosity won out, in the end.

"So how come you can afford a lovely place like this?" he asked as she lead him up the flight of stairs, all the way to the top floor of the building. Elena looked down at him, obviously surprised he was even asking. Damon sometimes wondered how clueless Elena really was. She was so on the ball, but sometimes she was really quite dim. She obviously hadn't expected him to care.

"I have a roommate. The university owns this block, but they rent out the flats to students that can afford it," Elena explained. Damon smirked slightly and watched her.

"And you are paying for it...how, exactly?" Damon probed. Goddammit, why was he so _curious_?

Elena paused on the top landing, considering Damon for a moment. She seemed to come to a decision, leading him over to door number 10. "My parents left a fund to Jeremy and me when they died. Plus Jenna's trying to help out a little. I work jobs in the holidays," Elena explained. She slid her key into the lock and opened the door, leaving Damon standing outside. Damon processed this. He considered the fact, that, after all the supernatural craziness, she'd probably had enough trauma for a lifetime. Damon made to flow Elena inside but was instantly frustrated when he couldn't make it past the front door. With a kind of black humour, he was struck by how he'd _forgotten_ this simple fact. Ah, Elena. How did she manage to distract him from what he was?

Elena had obviously forgotten too, because she got halfway down her hallway, heading towards the door at the end before she realised Damon's absence. She turned around, and took in Damon. He was leaning casually against the doorframe, looking half amused and like he didn't have a care in the world. When Elena met his eyes, he looked pointedly at the doorway. "Forgetting something?" Damon asked her, looking vaguely amused as realisation swept across her face. She really had forgotten that he needed an invite.

"Come on in, Damon." She said it simply, but she looked self awkward as she spoke, like she was a girl caught with her hand in the cookie jar. As Damon pushed off of the doorframe and walked inside, softly closing the door behind her, she seemed to get over her embarrassment. "How come you could get into the building?" she asked, curious.

"No one owns the stairwell, Elena, or sleeps in it, unless there's something you're not telling me. However, this place is obviously lived in, so..." Damon trailed off, snooping in behind a closed door. The place was simple, clean and fresh, and it reminded him of Elena's old room back in Mystic Falls. Elena dropped her bag in the room and then shut the door before Damon could go in. Damon smirked. "That'll be your room, then."

Elena continued down the hallway, opening the door at the end to reveal a classy, modern space. It was open plan - a kitchen at one and the living room at the other. The windows at the living room end looked out across the skyline, out into the multitude of trees that seemed to surround the area. Damon abandoned his own bag in the nearest free space, and began wandering around, snooping once more. There were a few photos. Some of Elena, Jeremy and Jenna - but others of people didn't recognise. The common link seemed to be a pretty, dark haired girl. She had olive toned skin that made her seem like she was European - Italian or Spanish, maybe. Her dark eyes were humoured in most of the photos, but knowing. Damon stopped himself from smiling. The kind of girl he wouldn't mind getting to know just a little bit better.

Elena ripped him from his wistful contemplation as she asked him what he was going to do now. Damon looked up at her, as she bustled around the kitchen, digging for coffee. She already had mugs out. Damon shrugged. "I don't know, I thought livening up the rest of your student life seemed like fun." Elena tilted her head slightly, looking slightly exasperated.

"Damon." She said in a warning tone.

"Elena." Damon replied, mimicking her tone in the most ridiculous fashion possible. "Oh, lighten up. You didn't _want _me to leave, remember?" Damon pointed out. She dropped her eyes to the coffee. Damon wondered why she hadn't wanted him gone, personally, but he wasn't going to argue. Inside, Elena was reeling with embarrassment. How stupid had she been? "It's not like I'm going to move in with you." Elena looked horrified at the very idea of that. But she stopped herself, considering Damon.

"I thought you had some fabulous life that me and my small town antics were keeping you from." Elena proposed. Damon smirked.

"Yeah, well, you blew that out of the water when I had to stick around and save your ass all the time." Damon told her. He knew the real answer to her statement though. The one he'd never say. _'My life was pointless before. You make me feel alive. So why shouldn't I stick around?'_ Damon mentally berated himself. God, he was so _whipped_. Elena just smiled and stirred a mug of coffee as she added freshly boiled water to the mug. Damon watched her, for a lack of anything more interesting in the room. But then again, Elena Gilbert was always the most interesting thing in the room.

"So, where's this roommate of yours? Did you lock her in the cupboard?" Damon teased. And as if life was a movie, Damon heard the front door open right on cue. Damon couldn't help but lean casually against the back of Elena's sofa, waiting for the mysterious girl to walk in. Then he'd charm the pants off of her and see how much it annoyed Elena. Just because he could.

The young, dark haired girl strode in, her eyes instantly going to the kitchen, where Elena already had a third mug out for her returned friend. Although Damon could only see the back of her head, he could feel the warmth from her when she uttered Elena's name. "I'm so glad you're home." She spoke with an American accent. It was nothing out of the ordinary, certainly not Italian, Spanish or anything vaguely exotic. Damon couldn't help but be slightly disappointed. The girl didn't move, but Elena noticed as her eyes flitted over the trio of coffee mugs. It was then that she turned to face Damon.

Damon smiled, trying to act all warm and homely. He'd forgotten what it was like to do this. He was able to be so lax around Elena; he hardly ever had to pretend to be the simple, young, charming guy. But this was a time that called for that particular façade, so Damon wore it like an expert. Elena seemed to be resigned to the fact Damon was going to be an ass. The roommate (as Damon had now christened her) looked at Damon, examining him with confident, knowing eyes. She seemed slightly suspicious. Somewhere deep inside Damon's battered soul, an alarm bell was ringing. Something wasn't quite right about this girl. Feeling the tension, Elena walked over, two cups of coffee in hand. She set them both down on the table, watching the pair examine each other. When it became clear Elena was waiting to see what Damon did, Damon smiled his four thousand watt classic.

"I'm Damon. Damon Salvatore." He said it with warm and eloquence. He took one of the roommate's free hands and lifted it slightly; kissing the back of her hand with an old time grace he had down to an art after all these years. Surprisingly enough, the girl was completely unconvinced. If anything, she looked more knowing and less than won over. Damon was seriously disturbed by her, and he couldn't pinpoint _why._

"Meredith Sulez." She spoke shortly, withdrawing her hand gracefully. She looked to Elena, silently asking for an explanation. Elena got the message loud and clear.

"Damon's a friend of mine." Elena wasn't helping. Damon couldn't help but be unnerved by Meredith. It was odd. In decades of living, Damon had never been so instantly perturbed by anybody. Meredith turned away from Damon, looking to Elena, making it clear she didn't care in the least for Damon. Damon was shocked. He'd never met a girl that dismissed him like that. Never. A faint smile played across Elena's lips - obviously, she saw the rejection as good for him in some way.

"I see Virginia was beneficial as ever." Meredith said to Elena, a wry smile on her lips. Elena shrugged slightly, heading back to the kitchen to retrieve her own coffee.

"Same as always." Elena reasoned.

"Did you get my text?" Meredith asked. Elena felt into her jeans pocket, but her eyes widened slightly when she came up empty.

"Shoot, I left my phone in the car." Elena picked up her car keys from the fruit bowl. "I'll be two minutes." Elena reassured Meredith. However, as she brushed past Damon she mouthed 'behave'. Damon looked at her, his eyes widening slightly. He didn't know why he had the mad desire to accompany Elena downstairs and make sure she didn't kill herself, but he did. Damon was shocked at himself when he realised he didn't want to be alone with Meredith. What was _wrong_ with him?

Elena exited, and Meredith sat down on the sofa, lifting her coffee and sipping at it. Damon went over to sit in the armchair close by, throwing up his charming, domestic cover once more. He'd be damned if he let this girl get the better of him.

"So, how long have you known Elena?" Damon asked politely, lifting the black coffee from the table. Meredith shrugged.

"I met her in August. I honestly don't feel like I _know_ her, though." Damon frowned.

"Really?" Meredith looked at Damon, meeting his gaze with a self-assurance that was about as rare as a flying pig. But she wasn't cocky. Just...calm. Cool. Collected.

"All I know about Elena is her alcohol tendency." Meredith said dryly, obviously aiming for wry humour. Damon was surprised though.

"Excuse me?" Meredith arched a dark eyebrow at Damon.

"She drinks most nights." Damon could feel his face meld into a mask of disbelief. That wasn't Elena. Not his Elena. Meredith amended slightly, seeing Damon's shock. "Not to destruction. But she always has a glass of something."

Damon inhaled deeply. He hadn't realised it was this bad. Elena was sinking. She was seriously suffering from the events of her life. She'd lost her parents, gone through more supernatural crap than anyone should ever have to handle, and then all her friends had left her. She'd been hit with it all. To the point where she had taken _his _solution to all problems. Drink it away. Damon was going to have some serious work to do. Silence grew for a while. Meredith seemed to understand that this was news to Damon without being told such.

"I met Elena 3 months ago. I've lived with her for most of that time. I know she's got a little brother and an aunt in Mystic Falls, Virginia. I know her parents died in a car crash. And I know she's sad. It's like someone died. I don't know how to make it better. I don't know if anyone can." Damon sipped at the black coffee Elena had made him, considering this. Not only did she mope when she was in Mystic Falls, she was successfully trying to copy him. But she was hurting. She'd been hurting over everyone leaving. Caroline, Bonnie...Stefan. Even him. They'd all left her. And they'd all left without considering _her. _The ones who'd be left behind. Elena wasn't moving on. She couldn't. Damon liked to imagine he'd snapped her out of something last night, but that was clearly just a baby step.

"So maybe the question is how long have _you _known Elena?" Meredith proposed. Damon's eyes flashed to Meredith. She was being open and honest with him for Elena's sake. That didn't mean he felt any more at ease with her around.

"A while," Damon conceded. Meredith smiled slightly at his obscurity, as if he was confirming something she'd suspected all along.

"So you know her fairly well?"

"You know, she never fails to surprise me." Damon spoke openly. Meredith smiled quietly.

"She's like that, isn't she?" Meredith admitted. Damon looked at Meredith closely. She struck him as the kind of person who was so coolly detached from life that she'd probably still be like this in the middle of a fire. She didn't get hysterical or frilly or any of that. But at the same time, she struck him as the kind of person who would rip his heart out if he crossed her. Not that she could. But she had this air about her that screamed 'I know what you are'. Damon didn't see how she could. But he was unnerved all the same. He wished Elena would hurry up and come back. Before he found out Meredith was some cheesy vampire hunter.

Silence rocked out and Damon focused on the coffee. It was easier than focusing on Meredith, anyway. But she drew his attention once more when she spoke, breaking the silence. "Was she always like this?" Meredith asked. Damon looked up at her, with her exotic beauty and her calm demeanour. Using the nice guy image to its potential, Damon shrugged and tried to look concerned.

"Sometimes, I don't even know her." He admitted it solemnly, and Meredith just nodded. At that moment, the front door opened again and Elena walked back in, looking a little flustered. When she saw Damon and Meredith sitting down together, her eyes grew suspicious. Damon just smiled.

"Did you find your phone?" he asked politely. Elena nodded. Meredith smiled at Elena.

"So what do you say?" Meredith proposed, obviously talking about her text. Elena looked hesitant, sitting down next to Meredith on the sofa.

"Oh, I don't know..." Elena was hesitant.

"Think about it, at least." Damon could feel the awkwardness his presence was causing. He quickly got to his feet.

"Well, as much as I'd love to stay and chat, I have things to do, people to see." Damon announced, getting to his feet. "It was a _pleasure_ to meet you, Meredith." Damon said. Elena quickly got to her feet and followed Damon down the hall.

"Damon, just promise me you won't mess with Meredith." Elena pleaded quietly as they headed for the door.

"Why ever not? She's a perfectly nice girl." Damon spoke as if he didn't know why Elena would ask such a thing. Elena arched an eyebrow. "I mean, nice in an I'm-going-to-rip-a-stake-out-of-thin-air-and-kill you way. But nice." Elena's brow creased.

"What are you talking about?" Damon waved it off.

"Never you mind your pretty little head." Elena wasn't deterred, however.

"Damon."

"Elena. I'm not going to break into your house and compel you or your lovely roommate to do anything. Now, I'd love to stay and debate what I can and can't do, according to the book of Elena, but I really have better things to do than sit around and play happy families all night." Damon opened the door, heading out onto the landing. He knew he could pull Elena on her alcohol addiction, but he wouldn't. Yet. He was keeping it in reserve for a more appropriate time. Elena eyed him suspiciously.

"What are you up to?"

"Absolutely nothing, Elena. You have a nice night now." Damon said, heading down the stairs.

Elena never even had a chance to say goodbye before he was gone. She bit her lip. She didn't know why, but she had a distinct bad feeling about all of this. Elena headed back inside, and Meredith looked up, considering her for a moment.

"So... Damon Salvatore," Meredith said coolly. "There's a story there." Elena sighed, collapsing onto the sofa.

"A long, complicated one I'd rather not talk about." Elena admitted. Meredith was looking at her oddly.

"He's different." Meredith observed.

"To who?" Elena asked, frowning slightly.

"Everyone."

"Well, I never have met anyone else like him," Elena conceded.

"You never will." Meredith told her.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because although he's a self confident ass, he cares about you. I get the feeling you forget that sometimes," Meredith spoke as she stood up, heading down the hallway to her room. Elena closed her eyes, trying not to think. Meredith was too observant for her own good.

It wasn't until an hour after Damon had left that Elena realised he'd left his bag behind.


	7. Medicine Man

_Once again, I thank you for your lovely reviews! They're honestly such an encouragement. And just to clarify one small matter for those who are unaware; although Meredith is awesome, she's not my OC. Meredith was a major character in the Vampire Diaries books, but she never made it into the TV show 'verse. It seemed fitting to bring her back as Elena's flatmate. Meredith doesn't get nearly enough attention. A bit of a filler chapter, to be honest, but there should be some real action very soon for anyone who's getting a little bored. Again, any input you have is the best thing you can give me. :D_

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A week passed. Elena had to resist temptation when it came to Damon's mysterious duffel bag. She'd eventually moved it into her room, but she refused to open it. She didn't want to know what he had brought with him. She was still convinced it would be something horrific that would make her wish she'd never gone prying, so she decided what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. She tucked his bag in the bottom of her wardrobe, assuming he'd come back for it eventually. The bag was, she supposed, one small comfort. It meant he was coming back. Didn't it?

Elena's life moved on without Damon around. Meredith was curious about him, but she wasn't one to pry. She left the subject alone once it became clear Elena didn't want to talk about it. But Elena could still tell that Meredith was interested. Elena never raised the subject, and neither did Meredith, so it never came up. Meredith supposed that this Damon must have done something while Elena was away, however. Because for the first time in months, she felt that Elena was living her life. Meredith was heading out to meet some friends from her class, and asked Elena along. Previously, Meredith was only being polite, because Elena always refused. And when Meredith came back, she usually found Elena in her room, a collection of old trinkets before her. A necklace, a bracelet, what looked like an old pocket watch and a few old photos. Meredith seriously attributed it to mourning.

She was surprised, however, when Elena agreed to come with her. More to the fact, they had _fun_. They'd all laughed and joked and played some pool and danced for a little while. It was the first time Meredith could truly say she'd seen Elena _happy._ So Meredith really wished she knew what Damon did, because it seemed like nothing short of a miracle. Meredith could tell that Elena wasn't completely healed. She was still, on the odd occasion when she was left to her own devices, sad. Meredith had never broached the subject before, but due to Elena's newfound freedom, Meredith chose to ask, just once. Elena's reply mystified her.

"I miss my friends." Elena had said sadly, concluding with a small sigh. "Oh, you would have loved them, Merry." Meredith smiled at Elena slightly. It was the first time Elena had used her nickname. It was a good sign.

"Tell me about them," she'd implored. And so Elena had. All about Caroline, who was the blonde fashion crazy girl. She was paranoid and a little frivolous at times, along with verging on being a control freak but she was strong and brave and Elena was so proud of her friend. And then there was Bonnie. She was calm and strong, but she was a little silly at times. She knew how to let loose, and Elena had explained how the three of them had used to have so much fun together. But she said she hadn't seen the fun side of Bonnie for a long time. They hadn't been allowed to be just friends for a long time. When Meredith asked why, Elena wouldn't answer. She just said she hadn't heard from either of them in a very long time.

Meredith wondered what kind of friends they were, leaving Elena like this.

Elena, meanwhile, didn't realise she was getting better. Ever since Damon had returned, Elena had felt better. She had felt that she wasn't completely abandoned. That people still loved her, and maybe, just maybe it hadn't been _her_ fault that everyone had left. She felt less guilty. Less like she was driving everyone away by simply existing. After all, Damon had come back. He still liked her enough to be around her. He cared about her enough to stay. It made a difference, although it was one Elena would never notice. Meredith noticed, though. Elena was drinking less. She was moping less, starting to go out and enjoy herself. She also, finally, seemed genuinely interested in her coursework. Meredith was pleased. She knew Elena was still sad, still lonely. But she was better. No one could deny any small improvement in Elena Gilbert's condition.

Two weeks after Damon Salvatore, Elena was actually looking forward to class. It was nothing short of a miracle, but she was looking forward to walking into this lecture and _learning_ something. Only when she'd tried to test herself on everything she'd already covered did Elena realise how little she'd actually taken in. She'd spent a lot of time going over her old notes and materials, trying to learn everything she'd been too spaced out to notice before. Elena walked into the lecture hall and took her usual seat, up in the back corner of the room. She began pulling out her notebook and pens, looking up at the screen at the front of the room. It was blank still. It was a good sign - it meant Elena was early.

She was also looking forward to the peace and quiet of her course. The pre-medical class wasn't huge - therefore all the space in the hall was not strictly required. The one upshot of this meant that Elena sat alone. She was left to her own devices; where clusters of students littered the rest of the hall, Elena was in isolation. She liked it. She'd used to like it because it meant she could think without distractions. Now, she liked it because she was free to focus without anyone else attempting to pull her attentions elsewhere. Elena had spent all too many a class back in high school, passing notes to Caroline or Bonnie when she should have been paying attention. But that was all going to change now. Elena was determined to be a better, less depressed student. Admittedly, it would take time. But now she knew something was wrong, she could try to make it right.

Therefore, Elena's surprise was explicit when someone sat down in the seat on her right hand side. Elena tried to ignore the newcomer, but eventually, her curiosity overtook her. He (for Elena could tell it was a guy) had a notepad out, and a few pens, but it was pristine. He was clearly new. And this wasn't high school; new students didn't just waltz in half-way through a term. Elena let a curtain of hair fall over the desk, intending to subtly peek up through her lashes, hoping to be discreet. She wanted to know who would sit next to _her_, after all this time.

She should have guessed, really. She never thought she would have underestimated his persistence.

"You know, I never pegged you for a medical student." Damon's voice was lazy, mocking. Elena could only stare with a mixture of horror and surprise. _Damon_ was there. There in all his glory, a grey shirt rolled up to his elbows, black jeans on as per usual. His black leather jacket was slung over the back of his chair, a bag at his feet. Elena blinked, trying to marry Damon Salvatore up with _university_. But he was there, a perfect actor in the role of a student.

"What are you _doing_ here, Damon?" Elena hissed. Damon rolled his eyes, leaning forward to rest his weight on his elbows, propped up on the desk.

"You know, Elena, you really need to come up with a better greeting. One day, you will say 'Damon! I'm so glad to see you' rather than acting like it's all one big surprise."

"This is a pre-med class." Elena pointedly out. Damon shrugged.

"And I'm a medical student now. Hey, if I stick around long enough, we could be this cool Doctor-slash-Nurse combo."

"Life isn't a TV show, Damon," Elena said, turning back to her notebook, doodling on the page. She didn't need this. Not now, not ever. She wanted to get her degree, not drop out thanks to Damon.

"Isn't it?" Damon proposed. Elena frowned at him. He was so awkward sometimes.

"How are you even here? Students don't get to just walk in."

"I will have you know, _Elena, _that I'm a transfer student." Damon told her.

"Oh really? Where from?" Elena challenged. She didn't know why she was being so stubborn, but she didn't believe him for a second. He was here to look after her - she was sure of it. But Elena hated it. She didn't need looking after, didn't need to be coddled.

"Il Università degli Studi di Firenze," Damon spoke with near enough the best Italian she'd heard from someone so clearly not Italian. Elena didn't know how she knew it was Italian, but she did.

"In English, please," Elena demanded quietly. Damon smirked slightly.

"Florence."

"Can you even speak Italian?" Elena challenged once more. She knew fine well that the name of the university could have been lifted from just anywhere.

"Amo pensare di sì." Damon flashed his winning smile, but Elena merely sighed. Trust him to be able to speak _Italian_ for heaven's sake. "Did you really spend all this time thinking 'Salvatore' was a nice, wholesome, American name?" Damon teased her. Elena turned back to her scribbles in her notebook. She didn't want to stand his witticisms any longer.

Elena was dying to ask him _why_ he'd chosen to do a medical degree, but she didn't bother. She knew she'd get some sarcastic evasion that did everything but answer her question. And she stood by her previous thought. She didn't want or _need_ protecting. Elena was, however, about to call him on whether he was telling the truth or not. She still couldn't believe he was actually playing student. Elena wouldn't put Damon past lying, just sneaking into class to annoy her. She was going to ask. But then the lecturer came over to them, looking at Damon apprehensively.

"Mr Salvatore?" he spoke cautiously, like he was unsure. Damon turned towards him, and Elena knew he was throwing one of those 'winning' smiles.

"Yes?" Damon said politely. Elena turned back to her notebook, eyes focusing on the page.

"Ah, you're the guy from Italy? You don't sound very Italian." The professor narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Elena half expected Damon to compel him away. She was surprised when he actually answered.

"My mother's side of the family's from Virginia. I've spent a lot of time here, rather than in Italy." Damon explained smoothly. He spoke with such conviction that Elena herself almost believed him for a second. Almost.

"Well, Salvatore, I don't think you've missed much. I'll get you the list of what we've covered at the end of the lecture. After that, you're on your own." The professor spoke sternly, obviously trying to regain some authority.

"Of course. Thank you, sir." The professor grunted noncommittally and walked away. Elena looked up at Damon, her eyes saying what she could never say as well. _'What the hell was that, what are you _doing_ Damon? Have you lost it? Have you officially gone insane?'_ Damon only smirked at her.

"Yes, Elena?" Damon asked, as if he had no idea what the look was for. Elena shook her head sadly, turning away.

"Nothing."

So much for focusing on class.

* * *

Elena was desperate to flee back to her flat after class, and leave Damon in the dust - but it was impossible. She tried to leave him in the lecture hall, but he just followed her. She tried to shake him off, get some space. But it was impossible. He wouldn't give up. Eventually, as they were walking out of the campus, Elena snapped.

"Damon, what do you want? Really?" Elena spoke sharply, pent up frustration spilling out. She was hit by the irony of the situation - Damon was normally the one that snapped in two after long enough, not her. How things had changed.

"Who says I want anything?" Damon asked innocently, gazing at her intently. Elena sighed heavily.

"Damon, be serious. You..." Elena paused. She was going to have trouble getting the next sentence out. "You mocked Stefan for going to high school. You don't do study or class or university." Why did Stefan's very name drive needles into her skin? Why did the very thought of him make her heart break and pine for him all over again? Elena even thought she saw a flash of some unspoken emotion in Damon's eyes when she mentioned his brother. Stefan had always been such a comfort before. A lynchpin of safety and security and everything good in the world. Why did he hang over them like a dark shadow now? Elena breathed in deeply, steeling herself. "So if you're here for the joys of student life, why this sudden change of heart?"

Damon held her gaze for a moment, and behind the amused, surprised mask, she could almost see the faintest shadow of an emotion. Something Elena couldn't see or name, but she could feel something there. Damon was at Duke for a reason. She didn't know why. She wished she did.

"Does it really matter, Elena?" Damon asked her seriously. Elena opened her mouth to reply. "Because I think you should think things through before you start accusing me of anything." Damon told her, sounding vaguely dangerous. Elena paused. It was true. It didn't matter. She had been so glad to see him, wanted him to stay so badly. Why would it matter why he was here, as long as he was?

"I'm just a little confused. Things aren't easy right now." Elena admitted. Damon smiled a little ghost of a smile. Elena stared at him for a moment. "What?" She didn't understand Damon at all these days.

"Which is why I'm staying." Damon spoke so softly, in so muted a tone, that Elena swore she almost missed it. She could have imagined the whole sentence, it was so understated. Elena gazed at Damon, a small frown gathering on her brow. What was he talking about? Before she could ponder it further, however, Damon was talking again. "We're going out tonight," Damon announced.

"What?" Elena said, surprised.

"It's what you call it when you leave your house, remember?" Damon spoke confidently.

"And where are we going, exactly?" Elena said vehemently.

"There's this party, and apparently it's going to be fabulous." Damon spoke, humour colouring every word.

"Damon, we're not even invited," Elena protested. She didn't want to go to a party. She knew what they were like. Everyone got a little crazy and there was far more underage drinking that there should be. Although she didn't know what she was thinking - she drank every night.

"No, but I'm sure darling Meredith is, and she'll invite you and I'll just tag along for the ride," Damon explained briefly. Elena stared at him, stunned.

"Damon..." Elena said, warningly.

"Go home. Get changed. And sue me if I'm wrong." Damon shrugged, walking away before Elena could protest further. Elena blinked. Why was it that when she wanted him gone, he stayed, and when she wanted him to stay and explain himself, he ran off?

Sure enough, when Meredith arrived home, she told her a friend of a friend was throwing a party, and wanted to know if they would come. Stunned at Damon's prediction for only a moment, Elena agreed. The last time she had avoided a party, Damon had burst into her life and dragged her there. God knows what he'd do this time, if she stayed at home.

There was one thing to be said for Damon. He had an art of getting his way.


	8. Run To You

_Plot progress! Finally. I really loved writing this chapter, although I have no idea where hysterical!Elena came from, so forgive me if you think it's a little off. As always, any thoughts or comments you guys have to make are adored by me. So don't be shy!_

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Elena didn't know what she'd expected from the 'fabulous' party she'd been taken to, but it wasn't what she got anyway. Some third year had a house uptown, and it was huge compared to Meredith and Elena's little place. The rooms were, however, spacious, with the sofas pushed against the walls and nothing but food and drink lining the rooms. Elena had wanted to turn around and leave the second she arrived. She'd never ever saw herself coming to one of these little house parties. They were just so...not her. Not anymore. Although little was the wrong word - the place was teeming with students.

Meredith guided her inside to the kitchen, where they stood by a large kitchen island, which was laden with snack food and the odd bottle of booze. Elena didn't touch any of the alcohol. She knew there was this reputation for it being spiked at these things. Besides - when Damon had mentioned the party her first thought had been of underage drinking. That had promptly slapped her round the head for the next hour. She had been cautious of going because of the alcohol and yet she drank a glass of something every night. What did that say? Was she so blinded? Elena had eventually decided to give up the habit. Why was she drinking anyway? What was the point? It would only give her liver disease later and it certainly wasn't making anything better. Elena supposed it had just been helping her forget. Forgetting, however, clearly wasn't helping much.

Meredith was watching her closely as Elena grabbed a handful of popcorn from a bowl, slowly eating the sticky confection. Elena noticed her watching. Something in Meredith's gaze confused her. "Meredith?" Elena asked cautiously. Meredith lifted a bottle of Coke, pouring some into a plastic cup she'd pulled from a stack nearby. She filled the cup and took a sip of the drink before she spoke.

"Would you mind if I was honest, Elena, or would you rather I was nice?" Meredith asked calmly. Elena's eyes widened a little in surprise.

"Honest, please," Elena told her. She'd had enough of being lied to for a lifetime.

"I never saw you coming tonight. I never thought you'd agree. And even then, I expected you to jump at the alcohol." Meredith's words stung. But Elena had only known her for a few months, and she'd spent them all feeling lonely and abandoned. Elena had been carrying so much guilt and she hadn't even _realised_ until Damon turned up. What was the meant to say about her? More to the fact, how had Damon managed to wake her up? He turned up, taken her to a party; they'd danced and had a good time. Then he'd driven her back here. That was about it. Was that really enough? Was reminding her that someone still cared about her, showing her the way things used to be - the way they could be again - was that really enough? Elena sighed slightly. Apparently, it was.

"I'm not normally like that," Elena assured Meredith solemnly, popping some more of the sweet popcorn into her mouth.

"I know." Meredith said it calmly, like she'd always known that there was a better Elena Gilbert beneath the sad, lonely drinker. "But you're better now." It wasn't a question. Meredith's perceptiveness was completely unparalleled.

"I'm getting better," Elena amended. Placing her plastic cup down on the kitchen island, Meredith surprised her by stepping forward and wrapping Elena in a warm, soft hug. Elena had never felt more reassured. Not for months. Sure, Jenna and Jeremy told her they loved and made her feel like she belonged. But they were family. They were honour bound to get along. Meredith made her feel like she wasn't driving every other living person away, for the first time in months. Elena gently hugged Meredith back, thankful for the warmth of feeling.

"I wish you would tell me what's made you so sad," Meredith said, releasing her gently. Elena thought of the mess with vampires, werewolves and witches that had been her life. The mess that had, in the end, cost Elena months of happiness. She couldn't burden Meredith with that. She would be extremely lucky if Meredith would even believe her.

"I wish I could tell you," Elena said honestly, turning back to the popcorn, chewing another few pieces. Meredith sipped some more of her drink and there was silence between them for a moment, as the thrum of music swelled into the space between them.

"Damon helps, doesn't he?" Meredith asked quietly after a few moments. Elena nodded. "Then I guess I can stand him," Meredith said wryly, a smile twisting her lips. Elena laughed.

"So how come you got invited to this party anyway?" Elena asked good-naturedly.

"Friend from class - Mark. He knows a few third years from his building, and they're friends with the guy who owns this place." Meredith explained.

"Must be brave, having a big party like this," Elena mused. Meredith shrugged.

"It's not like it's an open door, precisely." Meredith tempered.

"Then again..." Elena said, seeing Damon heading their way. Meredith didn't even turn around. She knew who Elena meant.

"Elena. Meredith. Enjoying the party?" Damon asked with a kind of polite levity. He grabbed a breadstick from the kitchen counter and bit the end off of it. Meredith watched him curiously. Elena just gazed at Damon, as if to say _'What did you expect from me?'_ Damon glanced between Meredith and Elena.

"Am I interrupting?" Damon asked. Elena saw the 'normal guy' facade he was using for Meredith's benefit. The thing was that Elena was fairly sure Meredith saw straight through it.

"Not at all." Meredith said smoothly, sipping some more of her drink. Damon looked at her curiously.

"You look stunning, tonight, Meredith. Red's really your colour," Damon told her, sounding completely sincere. Meredith clearly wasn't buying anything Damon sold, however.

"Thank you. I would tell you that you really suited your colour too, but you're always wearing black, and that's hardly a colour. No one suits black."Meredith said coolly, a sly smile playing around her lips. "Now, if you'll excuse me..." Meredith said smoothly, exiting the kitchen before Damon could get another word in. She did, however, shoot Elena an apologetic glance. Elena replied with her own eyes, reassuring Meredith that it was okay. The second Meredith was out of the room, Damon dropped some of the act. They were still in a house full of people - but he didn't act so much when it was just between the two of them. Elena could tell.

"You know, I still say she's secretly plotting my death." Damon said matter-of-factly, taking another bite of the breadstick. Elena frowned slightly, scolding him with her eyes. Damon shrugged. "What?" he asked incredulously. "It's true."

"Yeah, well, whatever. I'm here. Happy?" Elena asked a little begrudgingly. She had been enjoying talking to Meredith. Not that she didn't want Damon around, per se. She just hated how he'd driven Meredith off.

"I'm satisfied. For now," Damon said tauntingly. Elena narrowed her eyes slightly.

"Why did you want me here, anyway?" She was more curious than anything else.

"Do I need a reason?" Damon asked. When Elena didn't reply, Damon spoke again, his tone exasperated. "I wanted to take you out and let you have a good time. Is that such a bad thing?"

A wheel seemed to click into place in Elena's head. "This is not a date." She said it flatly, leaving no room for negotiation. Damon snorted slightly.

"If I wanted to take you on a date, I could do better than some drunken sorority kid's house." Damon stated. Elena had no doubt that he could, either. He'd just compel his way into where ever he so wished to go. Which brought to mind a valid point.

"How are you even here? Don't you need an invite?" Elena said it in a way that meant anyone passing by wouldn't understand. But Damon understood her well enough.

"It's not that hard to get one," Damon said, faintly mocking. As if to say _'See, Elena? Humans are stupid.'_ Elena felt mildly offended.

"Great." Elena said, in a tone that suggested she thought it was anything but.

"What would you rather have me say, Elena? Really, enlighten me, before I become an expert in how to piss you off." Damon spoke again, that faint mocking tone still lingering. Exasperated, Elena let out a breath that let Damon know that she'd had enough, and walked out of the kitchen, a few pieces of popcorn still in her fingers.

She weaved through the people, heading to the living room. She found Meredith there, talking to some friends. Elena headed straight over, and Meredith quickly introduced her to the people she was with - Jenny and Gareth. Jenny, Elena knew. She'd been there when Meredith had gone out to meet her friends, that first night Elena had tagged along. Gareth was new. They talked and laughed for a while, and Elena was faintly relieved that Damon hadn't followed her. Of course, she supposed he was probably hitting up some pretty girl in the kitchen, but Elena wasn't sure she cared what Damon did, as long as no one died.

The four of them relaxed together after a while, and Elena could feel the tension slipping away. She laughed because she wanted to, not because she had to. She gave her input because she wanted to take part, not because she had to, to stop from drawing attention to herself. She was enjoying herself. And contrary to her previous conceptions, she was enjoying herself. She was having fun. She hadn't had _fun _at a party with a group of near strangers for a long time. Meredith was a comfort too. She understood. And she didn't hate her. Elena felt that Meredith was becoming a close friend - a creature she thought she'd become apt at driving away, thanks to Klaus and everything else that had happened. Apparently not. Maybe her old friends really had just needed space to process and try to move on.

Elena volunteered to go and grab more drinks, and was met with replies of enthusiasm. She headed towards a long table at the side of the lounge, pulling out fresh plastic cups and filling them up with the requested drinks. Elena felt loose, and she had to admit all the caffeine was probably messing with her mind. '_Better than alcohol,'_ she told herself. For a start, caffeine was far more legal, and less damaging in the morning. It was as she was filling the cups she heard it. The name spoken with such vehement surprise that Elena was under no misconceptions. She'd been training herself to stop reacting to the name. But this - this was so clearly directed at _her._

"Katherine."

Elena looked up, to find a man standing next to her. It was the same man from the little roadside cafe, back on the road from Mystic Falls to Durham. The man she'd thought had been staring at her. Elena felt her heart rate speed up drastically. Maybe he _had_ been staring at her. Because she looked like Katherine.

Before Elena could even form a syllable, he was gone. Vanished, like a spectre. Gone so fast it was like he'd never existed - disappeared in the blink of an eye. Elena knew only one person could to that. A vampire. Elena felt her breath start to come in shallow pants, her heart still pulsing so fast it would surely give out. She'd only just stopped looking for kidnappers and vampires in a crowd. And now she _found _one? More to the fact, he thought she was Katherine. And he said her name so viciously, Elena knew it wasn't good. That tone could never be good. Why did it all come back to Katherine? Damon, Stefan, doppelganger curses - every supernatural element in her life had more or less started and ended with Katerina Petrova. Katherine Pierce.

Why couldn't she stop haunting Elena's every step?

Elena thought she was going to collapse. The man had vanished. Maybe he was going for back up. And they were going to come back here and stake her, thinking she was Katherine. Not even the protection of the invite saved her. The vampire had gotten in. Even Damon had teased her about the fact earlier. _'It's not that hard to get one.'_ That was what he'd said. She was going to die. All because of Katherine. No one could save her. What would Jenna say when they found her body? What about Jeremy? He'd turned to drugs when their parents had died, what would he do at the loss of another family member?

Meredith's voice rang in her ears. She'd obviously seen Elena, and gotten concerned about her. Elena took a moment to comprehend what Meredith was saying. "Are you okay?" No, I'm not okay! A vampire showed up and thinks I'm Katherine, and now he may be away to get the angry mob, who will tear me to pieces. Oh yes, Katherine is my doppelganger - she's a psychotic vampire who's over 500 years old, and everyone hates her. I'm not safe anymore, and I want to run, screaming my head off at the insanity. Damon never should have dragged me here. Oh, but I forgot! Damon's a vampire too; Katherine turned him back in 1864. Don't you love how she's all over my life? But Elena would never say any of that, even if that was what she wanted to scream.

"I'm fine. Just... need some air." Elena spoke through her shallow breaths, before staggering out of the room, heading back to the kitchen and straight out the French Doors she'd spotted earlier. There were a few people milling around in the garden, which was carefully decorated with fairy lights. It was meant to make the dark plants and black shadows feel safer - more secure. In reality, it just freaked Elena out more. The coloured light made odd shapes against the landscape. The red ones were the worst. It just made Elena think of spilled blood.

Elena saw a dark shape shift in the indistinct shadows, and she had to try and stop herself from running. Her heart was absolutely powering now, as she tried to steady her breathing. They'd come back to kill her. After all she'd survived, all she'd gone through, she was going to die _now. _Elena knew she should have been thinking about how to live, but all she could think was how unfair life was. Maybe it was just as well her friends had left. At least no one would miss her. Apart from maybe Meredith. She liked to think that Meredith would miss her.

Elena heard leaves rustling closer to her, making her sure someone was coming for her. Elena took a step back from the edge of the patio, trying to stop herself from running away, screaming. It was all she could do. She knew that making a scene would only make things worse for herself. There was a scream somewhere nearby. They'd got someone. Who? Why? Elena didn't even hear them coming up behind her - her head was too full of terror. All she knew was that they had her. Because a strong, steady hand grasped her shoulder. They were going to do it now. Hold her close and kill her. A terrifying thought crossed Elena's mind. What if they took her away? They thought she was Katherine. What if they started torturing her? She didn't know she could take that. Of course, they'd find out she was human. Then they'd kill her and use her for food. How comforting.

Elena yelped quietly, turning around to face her attacker and maybe try to defend herself. Of course, that was crazy. What was she going to do against a vampire? Damon had made the point of that once. Way, way back when they were going to save Stefan from the tomb vampires. She'd wanted to go, she'd wanted to help. Damon had told her no. He'd said that he couldn't protect her because he had no idea how many vampires there would be. Of course, she'd always been stubborn, willful. Always insisted she didn't need protection. Hadn't she thought that this morning? That she didn't want or need protection? But Damon had been right when he'd explained it to her, all those months ago. He'd just snapped his fingers, and said plainly _'That's how long it takes you to get your head ripped off.' _ He was right. And Elena? She was so sure she was as good as dead. She vaguely wondered if Damon would miss her, when she was dead. She hoped he didn't go back to how he had been, back when they'd first met. That would be unbearable for Elena.

However, her fears were unfounded in the end. Although it was a vampire who had his hands on her, it wasn't one who would be making any effort to kill her. It was Damon. Elena felt her knees go weak. She almost cried with relief. She hadn't felt this scared in months. She'd been ready to die once. But when it had all ended...Elena had liked to think that it was all over. She'd had enough death threats and lethal adventures for a lifetime. Hadn't she?

Had Elena been less stressed out, less terrified, and perhaps had a little less caffeine in her system; she probably never would have made her next move. But she did, without even thinking. She fell into Damon's arms. He wasn't holding them open for her, to be fair. But she just fell forward and wrapped her arms around him. She knew she never would have done this under any other circumstances. But she was just so scared, and so relieved that Damon was there. '_I can't protect you, Elena.'_ He'd said it all those months ago, when they were going to save Stefan. And as much as her head no, not even Damon could save her from a hoard of bloodthirsty vampires, her heart demanded otherwise. Her heart was saying that Damon could protect her. It was saying that Damon could help - Damon would know what to do. It was ironic. When they'd first met - once Elena knew the truth about what Damon was - she had thought the exact opposite.

Elena just held Damon tight for a moment, and he let her. He didn't hug her back, precisely. But Elena could feel the intention there, the fact that yes, he did care, and yes, she was safe now. Elena swore he was lightly fingering her hair, but she was so distressed she just wasn't sure. It was funny. With them, it had always seemed to be the other way around - she would hug him to show she cared. Now she hugged him because she had forgotten what it felt like to feel like she was being hunted.

Elena closed her eyes, fighting back tears, but through the body contact she heard Damon's soft words resonate. "I've got it from here." That was all he said. Elena forced herself to open her eyes, and look around her. None of the party goers were paying much attention to her, but she could just make out Meredith, who was retreating into the house. Had she gone to get Damon, to tell him she was outside having a breakdown? Elena had never appreciated Meredith more. She knew she didn't fall for Damon's charm, didn't like him that much, and she knew Damon didn't have any warm and fuzzy feelings for Meredith. For her to go fetch him showed not only that Meredith was one of the most insightful people she knew, but she was brave, selfless too. She would need to thank her when she saw her again.

Elena finally pulled away from Damon, and he placed a few fingers underneath her chin, tilting her head upwards. His gaze was enquiring, curious, and probing. He was checking that she was physically okay and asking her what was wrong all at the same time, without saying a single word. Elena drew in a shaky breath, trying to steady herself. She was strong. She could handle this. She'd just forgotten how it felt to be faced with it again. More to the fact, this time, she was alone. She was without her friends to support her. She never thought she'd need to face this again. Only she did, so she just had to get on with it.

"Katherine. He called me Katherine," Elena murmured quietly, under her breath. Damon looked down at her in surprise and something that looking like roiling fury. He didn't even ask for a further explanation. He just guided her straight through the house and right out the front door. They were leaving. Elena didn't question it. She hadn't wanted to be here in the first place. She wanted to stay even less now. Damon had walked her along good few streets away before Elena felt secure enough to say anything. Her pulse had finally stopped racing.

"Where are we going?" she said through the blind shock that had overtaken her.

"We are going back to your flat. And you're going to stay there. We'll have our own party," Damon said, as if he was trying to make up for taking her away from the party they'd just been to. Elena wanted to say she didn't care about the party, but her mind was otherwise occupied. Silence span out for a few more minutes, before Damon spoke again. "I'm impressed. You're normally complaining about my plans by now. Maybe this isn't so bad." Elena couldn't stop herself glaring up at Damon.

"Can you stop poking fun at everything for five minutes?" Elena said, frustrated. Damon seemed to concede, because he didn't say another word. Elena just had one thought in her mind, through the haze of paralyzing shock.

Why was it always her? And why was it always, _always _related to Katherine?


	9. Can't Read You

_I owe you guys a lot of love once again. You have absolutely no idea how much your lovely reviews make me smile. :) Anyway, I have only one note for this chapter. This is still a D/E story, so just keep in mind what the end game is. I'm just trying to keep things as realistic as possible. So try not to worry too much. ;) Again, any thoughts you want to give me make you the best person in the world. Also, big shout out to all the people who've favourited or put an alert onto this story. I never expected such a response! Thanks! :D_

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Damon's definition of a party was curious. He'd let Elena unlock the flat and told her to sit on the sofa. Usually, Elena would never do anything Damon said, purely because he'd said it; but she was too stunned to do anything but concede. Damon went over to the top of a chest of drawers at the side of the living room, pulling some take-out menus from there. Elena was using the time to steady herself. So there was a potential threat on her life hanging over her head again. What was new? She'd been in constant danger for a long time. She supposed the months of peace had desensitised her to it all. But she was slowly gaining a level head again. She was beginning to process. She was slowly feeling less afraid and more at peace. She could handle this.

Damon ordered the food, and didn't raise the subject of her assailant until it had arrived. Damon went to get the food when the doorbell rang too. Elena had settled herself onto the sofa in front of the TV, watching old reruns of some hospital drama. Damon organised everything. Elena had tried to help at first, but he'd just told her he was a big boy and could handle it himself. Not really in the mood to argue, Elena had just settled down in front of the TV. Elena flicked the TV onto a random music channel and turned the volume down when Damon finally sat down. He had a pizza box, and a bottle of Coke, which he set down on the table. The glass of alcohol Damon had for himself was practically obligatory. Elena's eyes flashed to it for only a moment, before she grabbed a slice of pizza, biting the end off of the slice. She'd never thought pizza could be such a comfort.

Damon seemed to consider her for a moment, then shrug off whatever contemplation he'd been in. He let Elena eat for a moment before broaching the subject. "So are you going to tell me what happened?" Damon asked casually, like he was asking about some menial event, not another threat against her life. Elena shrugged.

"There's not much to say." Elena brushed it off. She'd decided that her reaction back at the party had been a bit of an overreaction. She'd flipped out a little. But she was fine now, to a degree. She could handle it. She had to try not to laugh at herself though. She couldn't handle being alone, but she could handle a bloodthirsty pack of vampires coming after her.

"Elena. We've been to hell and back and I've never seen you that hysterical," Damon said. A chill went up her spine when Damon spoke. 'We'. He'd said that they'd been to hell and back. Both of them. Not her alone. It was like they were in it together. Elena was chilled at her instinctive reaction to the collective. What was wrong with her? Elena sighed.

"There was a man. At the cafe we stopped at on the way here."

"That was two weeks ago."

"I know."

"And you didn't think to maybe mention to me?" Damon prodded her. Elena wondered why he thought he needed to know.

"It didn't seem important at the time. But he couldn't stop staring at me. He left before we did. I watched him go, so no, he didn't follow me here. But it was the same guy at the party tonight. He just stood there, and he said 'Katherine' to me. It was like he was surprised to see me, but he was angry too," Elena explained quickly, before taking a bite of her pizza.

"Of course he's mad. Katherine's a bitch, no one runs over to her, hugging her for sheer joy," Damon mocked. But Elena could see the pain in his eyes; feel the deep hatred for her in his tone. Elena couldn't blame him. He'd spent 145 years searching for her, to find out that she didn't even care. If that didn't destroy you, Elena didn't know what did. She felt sorry for him. But now wasn't the time for sympathy.

"But I looked up Damon. When he said her name - I responded to it. He was gone before I could say anything, do anything, but..." Elena tailed off. Damon ended it for her.

"But he probably thinks you're Katherine. Great. Excellent," Damon said sarcastically, swallowing half the glass of his drink in one go. Elena ate some more of the pizza, letting Damon mull things over. She'd finished the slice when Damon spoke again. "Did he say anything else? The guy?"

"No. The second I looked up he was gone." Damon pondered the fact, before finishing his drink and getting up for a refill. Elena didn't even ask where he was getting the alcohol from.

"Well, could be worse," Damon speculated from the kitchen.

"Oh really? Enlighten me as to how this can possibly be any worse," Elena scoffed.

"Well, it's unlikely that he's an Original, which means a stake through the heart solves all our problems." Damon spoke like it was the simplest, most straightforward thing in the world.

"What if there's more than one?" Elena asked, peering at the pizza box and realising she'd already eaten half of the pizza during their conversation. She was ridiculous. If it wasn't alcohol or caffeine, it was food. What had happened to her? Damon sauntered back over to sofa, glass full once more.

"Do you _want_ a lynch mob trying to break your door down?" Damon asked.

"Damon..."

"Then don't think about it," Damon finished. That didn't really make Elena feel any better.

"But-," Elena began. But Damon held up his finger in a motion for silence, before cutting across her.

"Think of it this way. He thinks you're Katherine. And everyone knows Katherine is not dumb. This guy will need to attempt to think things through before he acts or he'll get his head ripped off. Besides, no one can get in this house without an invite. You are perfectly safe in these four walls," Damon reassured her. Elena nodded.

"What about Meredith?"

"What about her? She doesn't have a 500 year old vampire doppelganger, does she?"

"If she invites someone in..." Damon put his glass down on the coffee table. He shifted slightly so he was facing Elena head on. She watched him curiously. Before Elena could enquire further, she was trapped under the gaze of his clear blue eyes.

"Either you can tell her not to invite anyone in, or I can compel her not to." Damon volunteered. For a moment, she was sure he was trying to compel _her. _She was reassured by her vervain bracelet. Elena had stopped wearing the necklace Stefan gave her after they'd broken up. It had reminded her of him too much. But she had the bracelet. She couldn't be compelled.

"No, you are not compelling Meredith." Elena objected fiercely.

"So what, you're going to say 'Don't invite anyone in, I may have a vampire or two after my head?'" Damon mocked.

"I'll handle it." Elena insisted.

"You know it'd be better if -," Damon persisted.

"I said I would handle it! I spent three months living without you Damon Salvatore, I do not require you to tidy up every mess in my life. You are not the centre of the universe!"

Silence poured into the room after Elena's outburst. She knew the TV was still humming in the background, but she could barely even hear it. She was just so caught up in Damon's eyes. But she didn't flinch, didn't look away. She just allowed her raw hurt, fear and passion to burn away. Damon seemed surprised for a moment, but she was the one who was surprised when Damon placed a hand on her cheek. He was gentle, his fingers barely touching her skin. But she could feel it tingling, like someone had run an electric current over her.

Elena saw the kiss coming. That was the worst part of it all. She saw Damon leaning in so close and so slowly. She knew what he was going to do. That was how well Elena knew him - she knew he was going to go for it and kiss her.

She didn't know why she turned away.

But it happened. Elena just turned her head and looked away, trying to breathe. She couldn't go there. Not with Damon. She just _couldn't_. It was impossible. He was Stefan's brother! Besides, her heart was still in a mess over Stefan, still tangled up in him. She didn't know how she felt about Stefan; she didn't know how he felt about her. She wasn't ready for a relationship, and when she was, it wasn't going to be Damon. How could it be?

Damon didn't speak, but Elena could feel the hurt and rejection emanating from him. She instantly felt guilty. But she couldn't do it. She couldn't kiss him. Besides, Damon deserved better than her. Some nice, strong girl who would see him perfectly and have the guts to call him on it. Like Rose. Rose had understood Damon. And she hadn't been afraid to say it. Elena was the opposite. She occasionally understood Damon, but most of the time he was so off the wall that she was pushed to keep up. And even when she did see him, she never tended to _say _anything. She was bold, true, and she'd pushed him again and again to be _human_, but that wasn't what Damon needed. Not really. Elena sometimes wondered - as she had done with Stefan - if he only liked her because she looked like Katherine. It was, perhaps, some desperate attempt to gain some affection from the woman he'd loved for so long. Only it wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be fair.

"Damon, I'm sorry, but...I can't," Elena said, not looking back yet. She was sure what she saw would break her heart. She could feel it when Damon backed away, when he gave her back her personal space. Why did her gut ache when he gave up? She heard Damon lift his glass, downing some more of the alcohol. She hated when he did that, but she wasn't brave enough to chide him for running to drink. Another reason why she wasn't the right woman for him.

"I get it Elena. There's always some excuse, right?" He said it nonchalantly, bitterly, but when Elena detected the edge of pain under it all, her gut twisted even further. Why was it killing her to say 'no'? She knew she was right. She reminded herself it had killed her to turn Stefan away, tell him it was over between them. Tell him no, they wouldn't be able to get back together. And yet she still thought she was right to end it, even if it still hurt her. She couldn't trust Stefan any more. They'd had their chance. Maybe if Klaus and the doppelganger curse had never happened, things would have been different. But as it was, those events had ripped their relationship apart. But that was the thing about battles like that. They either brought out the best in you, or the worst.

"I'm not making excuses," Elena protested, feeling hurt. She finally turned to look at Damon. His gaze was scathing. Elena thought her intestines had finally manoeuvred themselves into a sound, secure knot. That was how it felt anyway.

"Not out loud," Damon told her. Elena was truly worried that vampires really could read her mind. But it was impossible. Her gaze dropped guiltily as she let her fingers brush her bracelet. She was safe. It couldn't be telepathic. Was she really that open? Besides, she wasn't making excuses. They were all valid reasons.

"Don't do this, Damon," Elena pleaded. Damon stared at her for only one moment, before getting to his feet, meandering around the room. But his eyes were still on her. Elena refused to let him out of her sight.

"Do what, Elena? Tell you what you already know? Or show you something you'd rather not consider?" Elena opened her mouth to reply, but she never got the chance. "Ah ah, don't worry. I know. You're just getting over my darling little brother despite the fact you've been officially a non-couple for months now. You really don't want to push things too far. But hiding's become a habit of yours, Elena, hasn't it? I mean, there's the borderline alcoholic side, and the side that just curls up in her room and decides the world doesn't exist. I know, Elena. It must be so hard, not having a supernatural threat hanging over your head. But good news! Looks like you found a new one. Congratulations." Damon said it with such biting sarcasm that Elena almost regretted not granting him that one kiss. But she knew that it would lead from one thing to another, and before she knew it... Elena discarded most of Damon's speech and focused on the part she could handle. Well; the part she could handle better than the rest of it.

"How do you know about the drinking?" Elena asked, her voice shaking slightly, but surprise cracking through. She'd hoped Damon never found out about it.

"Meredith and I had a good old gossip. You know, about boys and fashion and then about your marvellous bad habits." Damon said, with his sarcasm still in place. However, he quickly dropped it when he spoke again, just sounding a little exasperated instead. "Really, Elena, what's the point?"

"It works for you pretty well," Elena shot back, scathingly. Damon rolled his eyes.

"Glad to know your new life goal is to be _me. _Really, I'm flattered. Will I find a heartless vampire dick for you to fall in love with, turn you, and then have you devote a century and a half of your life to him in vain, or would you rather handle that part?" Damon asked, the irony back in action. Elena had no response. "Elena. If I can promise you one thing, it's that you do not want to be me. Quit the drinking, or I'll confiscate all the alcohol in the house." Damon threatened. Elena sighed, turning away from Damon, collapsing back into the sofa. Apparently, Damon was on the war path, though. "I didn't hear an answer there, Elena."

"I stopped, okay! It's over." Elena said it more fiercely than she might have otherwise, but Damon was just driving her insane. All the sarcasm was the worst part. He just made her feel guilty. Elena felt like she was going to throw up.

"And when did _that_ happen?" Damon accused. Elena looked up, her eyes burning. She was slightly reassured by the fact that Damon had sat down again - he was lounging in an armchair, glass in hand.

"When you came back."

The statement seemed to knock Damon back. Elena could see the pure surprise in his eyes. It wasn't often that he let his emotions slip like that. It was a moment or two after she'd spoken before she realised what she had said. She let her gaze drop, as she processed what she'd spilled. Damon clearly hadn't been expecting her to say it. But it was true. Ever since she'd returned from Mystic Falls, she'd been drinking less and less. It was only tonight she'd quit fully, but still. She'd began her cutbacks when she'd returned from Virginia. When Damon came back into her life. What was with that?

Elena sat in the silence and felt her stomach properly flip. Her head was pounding too. She really didn't feel well. And sadly, Elena couldn't contribute it to Damon. There was no way that emotional imbalance could make you feel this bad. She wondered if she'd overeaten. Elena closed her eyes, inhaling deeply, as if it would help clear her head. She wanted to crawl into bed and forget about everything. But she wasn't sure if she trusted Damon not to screw around.

"Elena?" His voice was soft, quiet, concerned. He'd moved past the fight, clearly. Elena opened her eyes, standing up. Her head span.

"I think I'm going to just go to bed, if that's okay?" Elena said. What was she doing? Asking _permission?_ Damon looked genuinely concerned.

"When does Meredith get back?" Damon asked. Elena shook her head.

"She's doesn't." Elena had been texting Meredith earlier, to let her know that she'd gone home. Meredith had said she was staying over with a friend that night - she'd mentioned something about break-up drama. If only Meredith knew the drama in her own house. But it was better that Meredith stayed out of it.

"I'm not leaving you here alone." Damon said flatly. It was the kind of tone that meant he wasn't going to be argued with. Elena tried anyway.

"Really, I'll be fine." Elena was trying to sound reassuring.

"I'm staying," Damon repeated. Not really wanting to waste anymore time arguing, Elena just nodded.

"There's some spare stuff in the cupboard. It's a sofa bed," Elena said, gesturing vaguely. Damon nodded.

"Go to bed, Elena," Damon told her. She had never seen him looking so genuinely concerned. At least, not that she could remember. But her memory was a little foggy, so maybe that was nothing to go by. In the end, she stopped trying to work it out and just slipped into her room, closing the door before crawling under her duvet without even really getting changed. She just stripped off her jeans and slept like that, socks on and all. She didn't know why she felt so ill.

It wasn't over Damon. That would just be silly.


	10. All Fall Down

_Thanks again for the **amazing** response I got for the last chapter. It was totally unexpected. Lots of love to all those who reviewed - I wish I could give you all something more meaningful than this, but really, the fact you enjoy this so much means a lot to me. Again, a big shout out to kat - your insights and thoughts are such an encouragement, and I honestly love seeing your reviews each chapter. :) Anyway, on with the show! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as the last._

* * *

It was hard for Damon to pin a reason down for why he'd decided to stay. He'd been all set for leaving until Elena had admitted she'd stopped drinking when he'd come back. Then she'd started looking positively ill. And without warning, Damon had been hit by a scenario where Elena was so ill she lost the protection of vervain. And then those vampires came back, compelled her to let them in and then killed her. Damon didn't think he'd be able to live with himself. He had wanted nothing more than to leave when Elena had turned him down. He'd wanted to go and find some distraction, because this was torture. It was clear Elena Gilbert would never want him like _that_, and it was killing him inside. But he couldn't leave her like this. So after she'd gone to bed, Damon drank enough liquor to knock out a horse.

He really was such a hypocrite sometimes.

Eventually, he passed out on Elena's sofa. Despite her advice, he hadn't bothered turning the thing into a bed. He had, however, taken the liberty of grabbing some sheets from Elena's linen cupboard. When he slept, he dreamed of her.

It was hard for Damon to decide whether he was glad or not when he was abruptly awakened in the middle of the night. He heard feet padding down the corridor. Damon could hear it was the only heartbeat in the flat apart from his own and knew it was Elena, which reassured him. It meant that it wasn't some psycho vampire, which was always a plus point. However, he was concerned at the pace of her steps. It was like she was running. Damon listened for a moment - he hadn't heard anything unusual. Damon rolled over, his perfect eyesight making out the shape of the wall clock through the darkness. It was ridiculously early in the morning. It wasn't until Damon heard her retching that he connected the dots.

Getting to his feet and yanking on a pair of jeans, he made his way to the bathroom, and found Elena sitting with her back against the bathtub, looking white, sickly pale and covered in a thin sheen of sweat. Elena groaned when she saw Damon, who had neglected to put a shirt on.

"Go away," she complained hoarsely. Damon just let his eyes sweep her over, before he decided there was, again, no way he could leave her like that - sick and definitely needing some help. Quietly noting to himself that Elena had definitely turned him into a sap, he sank down onto the bathroom floor next to her. Elena turned her head away from him. Damon just watched her, as if he would find an answer to the mysteries of her brain in her hair. "I'll make you sick," she croaked again, trying to drive him away. Damon couldn't help but smirk.

"I think that's a little beyond you, Elena." Damon told her. It always struck him how easy she was to be with. She seemed to forget they were vampire and human. In truth, Damon managed to forget sometimes too, with her. Just very occasionally. Sometimes, they were just Damon and Elena.

There was a pause that seemed to radiate her embarrassment at forgetting he didn't get sick. Damon didn't see what her problem was, but he left her to stew anyway, still analysing the separate strands of her hair. Her hair was such a pretty colour. This gorgeous shade of russet chocolate coffee, that was entirely her own. He'd never met another person with hair like hers. Not even Katherine.

It was Elena who broke the heavy silence of the early morning. "Nothing I say can make you go away, can it?" She almost sounded resigned to the fact. Damon smirked, in a way that seemed to catch just a hint of a smile about it too.

"It would have to be very creative," Damon assured her. Elena just sighed and closed her eyes, leaning back against the bathtub. They sat in silence for a few minutes, leaving Damon to listen to the steady thrum of her heart. It was vital, alive, and a sound Damon had become far too familiar with. He'd spent too long trying to make sure it continued on. It was like Elena was a magnet for tragedy. She'd been cursed from the start, he supposed - with Katherine for an ancestor and a vampire mother, who wouldn't be? Add in the Gilbert legacy and he supposed Elena's fate was sealed. It wasn't like it was her fault. And she obviously couldn't handle _not_ being involved with the supernatural. It was a completely perverse reaction. But Damon was clearly no expert on the matters of the mind of Elena Gilbert. He doubted anyone was.

Eventually, Elena crawled over to the toilet and puked again. Damon, on a normal day, would have fled at this moment. Human disease was so _messy_, he hated handling it. It was just another sign of their weakness, just another symbol of inferiority. But this was Elena. He'd tried to walk away from this girl so many times, and she just kept dragging him back. He vaguely wondered when she'd metaphorically wrapped him in chains as he went over to her, sweeping her hair from her face. When she was finished, she finally seemed to realise he was there. Elena swatted at him, trying to make him go away. Damon just gently rubbed circles on her back, making his best attempt at being caring and kind and that kind of crap Elena was so apt at making him believe in. Eventually she flushed the toilet and shifted away, clearly embarrassed at being sick.

"Better?" Damon asked with entirely the wrong tone for the situation. Elena dragged her fingers through her hair, pulling it back from her face. Damon thought it looked vaguely sexy, but it was completely the wrong situation for those kinds of thoughts. Elena seemed to inhale deeply, before nodding slowly. A moment or two passed, then Elena shakily got to her feet, catching sight of her reflection .

"I'm just going to clean up a little," Elena said. Damon took it as his cue to leave. He was gone before Elena could process what had just happened. That was precisely how Damon liked it. Leave 'em reeling - it meant you were still on their mind for another day or so, at least. Damon went back through to the kitchen, leaving Elena to her own devices. Somewhere deep inside, Damon was still hurting from Elena's rejection. He wanted nothing more than to go and find oblivion somewhere, somehow.

The question was, despite it all, why did he still care about Elena Gilbert?

* * *

Elena washed her face, trying to get rid of the feeling of being filthy. She was still running a bit of a fever, and her stomach hadn't quite settled yet. But she didn't think there was anything left in her gut to puke. Elena closed her eyes. She hated being sick. It made her feel weak, vulnerable. She didn't want to feel like that. And the whole situation was made worse by the presence of Damon. Why had he insisted on staying over? She had to be strong around him; she had to hold her own. Elena knew he took any advantage given to him. She didn't like giving Damon advantages.

However, she was a little puzzled by his reaction to her illness. She'd expected him to stay in the lounge and then taunt her about weakness or something of that ilk later. She'd expected him to take revenge on her for rejecting him. But instead, he'd come to check she was okay. He'd tried to help. It was hard to say that was the same person that had killed innocent people just because he could. Elena couldn't tie up the personalities. She wondered if this sickness wasn't messing with her mind too. Because if she didn't know better, she would have said Damon cared.

But that was nonsense. Ludicrous. Damon always had some agenda, some end goal. He didn't do anything for anyone unless it benefited him in some way. Somewhere deep within, Elena knew that wasn't strictly true. But she wasn't seeing it at that moment in time. She just wished she knew why Damon was at Duke in the first place. It would make things so much clearer.

However, Elena was realistic. She knew it wasn't going to happen, so she was just going to have to move on. She could move on. She liked to imagine she was getting good at moving on. (She didn't have the heart to tell herself she was deluded in that assessment.) But her main priority now was cleaning herself up. She washed her face, and found a band to tie her hair back with. It wasn't nearly good enough, but she was still tired. She wanted to see if she could sleep for a couple more hours before cleaning up. She still didn't feel quite right, and she desperately hoped that sleep could cure some of it.

Elena examined her crumpled shirt. She was going to have to wash it later - she was beginning to regret passing out like she did. But the past was the past and it wasn't like she could change it, could she?

Walking out of the bathroom, she groggily went through to the kitchen, needing to drink something in an effort to dispel the disgusting taste that hung in her mouth. She supposed she shouldn't have been surprised when she found Damon waiting for her. He was still shirtless. Elena didn't want to admit he looked good - but he did. The sickness really was making her delusional. She wished he'd just put a shirt on. It was becoming vaguely distracting.

He had a glass of water, which he held out for her. She took it gratefully, sipping at it. "Thanks," Elena murmured after a few moments as Damon wandered back to the sofa. She noticed the sofa with the abandoned sheets, and the empty bottles of liquor on the floor. Elena wondered where he'd got it from for only a moment. Then she was just concerned about the fact he'd downed them all himself. Was that really all over her? How could she make Damon see that she wasn't the right person for him?

Elena leaned back against the counter, considering if she could hook him up with another girl. It would certainly distract him. Of course, it meant running the risk of letting said girl being compelled and regularly drained of blood, which maybe wasn't the best idea. Elena still remembered how he'd treated Caroline back when he'd first arrived in Mystic Falls. She liked to think they'd both moved on since then, but still. She couldn't ignore the history. But it still left her with the issue - how could she possibly show him that she wasn't the right girl, not worth it? Although she hated to admit it, Damon had saved her. She'd started living again and somehow, it was because of him. She owed him the same in return. Didn't she?

Damon was rearranging the sheets on the sofa, when he patted the space next to him. "Come on, have a seat," he encouraged her. Elena felt a vague throwback to the first time they'd met, when he'd invited her into the boarding house. It was still Damon, but it was such an odd side of him. Elena was cautious, but obliged none the less. Damon tucked the sheets around her, and she was struck by the fact they smelled uniquely of _him. _Elena didn't like how the smell was immediately a comfort. "How're you holding up?" Elena shrugged.

"I'm sick. It's not like it's the end of the world." Her voice was still rough, hoarse. Elena sipped some more of the water, trying to dispel it. Damon smirked, as if she'd reminded him of some long forgotten event that amused him to no end. Elena was tempted to ask, but she decided she didn't strictly want to know. "So you slept on the sofa."

"Surprising comfortably too, until someone starting puking everywhere," Damon told her plainly. Elena glared at him pointedly. He just smirked away. Elena sighed, tugging the sheets closer with one hand. Damon leaned in closer until his lips were inches from her ear, and then he whispered softly. "I could play nurse if you like." He said in a way that turned such an innocent statement into something _completely_ different, so much so that Elena smacked him feebly on the shoulder. He pretended to be in pain. "Really, Elena, I'm only trying to help."

"Whatever Damon," Elena said tiredly. She sipped some more of the water, watching Damon until he turned away. It was silent for a moment, until Damon spoke once more.

"Hey, where'd my bag end up?" Damon asked, obviously confused. Elena was puzzled too.

"What bag?" She had to try hard not to tease him with that statement.

"The one I brought from Virginia." Damon said, like it was obvious. Elena blushed slightly. The duffel bag that she'd refused to open.

"Oh. It's in the bottom of my closet." Elena said meekly. Damon looked at her, an ominous expression on his face.

"Mhm, Elena." He spoke in a way that screamed innuendos and a hundred taunts about that fact because one alone simply wasn't good enough. Elena turned away, burrowing deeper under the sheets. She felt that Damon was gone due to the absence of weight on the sofa beside her, but he was back in a second. Elena peered over at the bag, curiosity overtaking her. All that seemed to be there were clothes. All black, funnily enough. Elena couldn't help but be a little scandalised as Damon pulled out a t-shirt and slipped it over his head.

"You left me your _clothes_?" she asked, incredulous.

"Well, I can't leave in the same shirt I turned up in. What would the neighbours think?"Damon asked mockingly. Elena exhaled in frustration, her eyes downcast. She sipped some more of her water. All this nonsense with Damon was distracting her from her sickness. She couldn't decide if it was good or not. It was only when she heard Damon withdraw something else from the bag that she looked back. She almost choked when she saw it.

"A _stake?_ Were you expecting all this trouble, or did you think I'd find it handy?" Elena bit out.

"I like to be prepared," Damon said nonchalantly, zipping the bag closed again. Elena placed a hand to her forehead, wondering if she was hallucinating all of this. She finished what little of her water was left and slipped out from underneath the sheets, getting to her feet. She felt dizzy, but she was steady enough. Damon looked over at her, concerned.

"I'm going to see if I can catch some more sleep," Elena said, subdued. Damon nodded. He didn't speak, but Elena thought she could see in his eyes the fact that he would still be there when she woke up. It was enough for Elena. She went back to bed and passed out. She didn't dream of anything that she could remember later - she was far too tired.

Elena stirred only when the phone rang. It cut off quickly, and she heard Damon murmuring into the handset. She rolled over and stared at the clock. It was half past eight. Elena groaned, and as much as she wanted to roll over and go back to sleep, she had an insane urge to get clean. She could lounge around later. She dived into the shower while Damon was still on the phone.

If Meredith had been home, Elena knew she'd never have been so indulgent. She took a long shower that probably ate up most of the hot water in the tank. When Elena dressed, she chose loose, comfortable clothing, and wrapped herself in her bath robe. Her hair was a damp rope when she went through to the lounge, but for once, she couldn't honestly say she cared.

Elena collapsed onto the sofa, as Damon lounged in an armchair, half asleep. His eyes were closed, anyway. However, it became clear Damon wasn't asleep pretty quickly.

"Feeling any better?" he asked her. Elena nodded, wrapping herself in the fluffy fleece of her robe.

"Much," she said. Of course, she still felt lightheaded, a little dizzy, and her stomach wasn't precisely normal. But she was better than she had been earlier that morning. Damon opened his mouth to make some remark when the doorbell rang. They both glanced in the direction of the door. Then Damon looked to Elena.

"I'm not expecting anyone. And they should have needed to buzz up first..." she trailed off. Maybe Meredith had forgotten her door key. Damon grabbed the stake from the coffee table and Elena sighed, although she couldn't help squirming into the corner of the sofa, as if it would help hide her. She would normally try to run, or fight back. But she was sick. If she tried to run, she knew she'd give herself concussion faster than anything else. The same for a fight back. Her immune system had crappy timing.

As Damon walked down the hallway, Elena felt her gut twist. She wondered why for only a moment. Then she realised she was afraid. But not for herself - for him. What if it was one of her new threats? Would they kill Damon as soon as he opened the door? Were they both in danger once more? But the only thought Elena could focus on was a shocking one.

'_What would I do without him?'_

Elena didn't want to answer that question. She didn't have to either, as she heard the door open. She heard Damon speak, but she couldn't make out the words through the haze of her mind. She was completely shocked at the sound of the other voice, though. The one of her visitor. She'd heard that voice so many times before - it was impossible to remove it from her mind. She didn't need to hear the words. She knew who was standing at her front door. She didn't know whether to be completely horrified or not.

It was a hard choice.


	11. Promise This

_Once more, I thank you all for the reviews. I hope you guys can forgive my apparent predictability. :) As always, feel free to let me know what you think! _

* * *

The wooden stake dug softly into the flesh of Damon's arm as he walked down the hallway towards the front door. He didn't quite know what to expect. He'd seen the wide, doe eyed surprise on Elena's face when the doorbell rang - it was so clear that she wasn't expecting a single intrusion on her sickbed today. Not at 9am, anyway. Of course, Damon's mind immediately went to the worst, and his fears were only further supported by the lack of doorbell ringing from the bottom of the stairs, outside the building. So there was no way he was going without the stake. He had his hand curled around the base of it, holding the weapon parallel to his arm. The downside of the position was the fact that the tip of the stake was digging in just below his elbow. But the pain kept him focused.

Careful to be completely prepared for any eventuality, Damon reached out for the doorknob. He wanted to make this fast. It would be the least messy. Steeling himself, Damon whipped the door open, ready to strike out. It was lucky he stopped himself. Damon had been sure he was ready for anything. He could openly admit to himself he wasn't ready for _this._

"Stefan," Damon said, a mix of tiredness, relief and surprise colouring his tone. Damon dropped the stake letting it hang loose between his fingers. He might have tried to kill his brother a couple of times in the past, but it was really unnecessary now. It would be messy and he was sure Elena would never forgive him. Damon watched Stefan's gaze flicker between the stake and his own eyes.

"Damon. What are you doing here?" Stefan asked cautious, but surprised none the less. Damon sighed dramatically.

"Kicking back and playing true or dare with your ex, obviously." Stefan would have tried to reply in his usual, broody, tired tone, but Damon could hear Elena moving behind him. She was padding cautiously down the hallway. Damon saw his brother's gaze move past him, and he knew Elena was there. "Why don't you invite my brother in, baby?" Damon said, in the kind of suggestive tone that was only used by any sane person when they were dating the person it was said to. Or maybe just sleeping together. However, Damon wasn't the epitome of sane. Stefan obviously picked up the tone and wasn't sure what to think. Damon took pleasure in his brother's shock.

"Come in, Stefan," Elena choked out, eventually. Damon smirked. Elena hadn't even protested against his tone. She was probably too surprised to do a damn thing. Damon turned around to saunter back down the hallway, flipping the stake back and forth in his hand. Elena really did look surprised. Actually she looked kind of sick again. "I'm really sorry Stefan but I was actually just about to go and do my hair. Would you be okay on your own for a while?" she whispered. Her voice was hoarse, raspy, quiet. Damon knew she'd had no plans to do anything with her hair. But she wanted out of the situation. Damon found it hard to blame her.

"Of course." That was Stefan, ever the gentleman. As Damon walked back into the lounge and flopped down into the armchair, he heard Elena whisper a 'thank you' and close her bedroom door. Stefan walked slowly into the lounge. Damon didn't even bother to acknowledge him. The last thing Damon had wanted was his _brother_ showing up. Not only did Stefan make a habit of driving him bat-shit crazy without realising he was doing so, there was also the fact this couldn't be good for Elena. She'd practically admitted just last night that she was still hung up on Stefan. Damon was only just beginning to drag Elena back into the land of the living as opposed to her world of hiding and depression and solitude. He'd be damned if he let his brother ruin all that for her. Of course, there was the minor fact that probably was already damned, but still. The sentiment stood.

Stefan spoke first. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"I would be worried if you did, considering this is _Elena's_ house." Damon looked over at Stefan, with a sweet little pretend smile on his face. Stefan's eyes roved around the room. Eventually, they hit the empty liquor bottles in the kitchen. Damon heard Elena's hairdryer start up, but he still heard Stefan's voice ringing through his head.

"Were you drinking with Elena last night?" Stefan accused. Damon snorted.

"No, of course not. That was all me." Damon said smoothly. Stefan looked vaguely suspicious.

"It's not like she looked normal, Damon," Stefan pressed. Damon sighed.

"She's sick, Stefan, okay? Elena is human, and therefore vulnerable to nasty bugs and other lovely things like that. Not every episode of illness is alcohol induced." Damon said tiredly. Stefan's expression immediately changed from suspicious to concerned. For Elena, of course.

"Are you sure that it's just a bug? She should see a doctor..." Damon got to his feet, months of frustration barely leashed in his head.

"You lost the right to make decisions about her life when you _left, _Stefan." Damon bit out viciously. Stefan looked a little taken aback. Damon was pleased. "You're not her father, Stefan. She's a big girl now, she can make her own choices," he mocked his brother. Stefan inhaled slightly. Damon could only feel the pounding of his own frustration inside his head. Stefan walked out on them, and now he got to walk back in and pretend nothing had happened? In that instant, Damon was struck by exactly how _Elena_ must have felt when he'd turned up again. Maybe she had been justified, after all.

Stefan seemed to decide to let that particular matter slide, but he wasn't giving up by any terms. Stefan never had known when to quit. "So what are you doing here, then, Damon? Considering you don't live here," Stefan enquired. Damon smirked evilly.

"Who says I don't?"

Stefan seemed vaguely shocked at the fact. His eyes were the size of medallions, as he considered whether it was possible or not. Damon grinned.

"I don't," Damon reassured his brother. He figured Stefan would give himself an aneurism trying to work it out. It was clear, however, that Stefan's question still stood. Damon sighed. "Do you want to pretend to be Father? Is that your aim here, Stefan?" Damon didn't even give Stefan time to answer. "Fine. I took Elena out to a party last night because she _needed_ to have fun. Fun fact, _brother_, you know she's been depressed since you and the rest of the Scooby gang walked out? Pretty close to alcoholic too. So she went to a party with her flatmate and I tagged along. There was no heavy drinking, and don't even ask if I took advantage of her, because there was a very pretty blonde called Hannah who was _very_ entertaining. At least, until Elena's flatmate turned up and told me Elena was having a mental breakdown in the garden. At which point I swooped in, did your white knight act and brought her home, because someone turned up and called her Katherine. Enough detail for you?" Damon demanded. Stefan really did look surprised.

"Someone called her Katherine?" Stefan echoed. Damon sighed.

"Yes. I'm loving the part where you questioned what happened last night before the fact I was about to stake you," Damon mocked. Stefan exhaled slightly.

"You're trying to keep her safe," he proclaimed.

"I'm a good guy now, remember?" Damon said it with a tone that made it crystal clear he didn't believe it.

"So what happened to Hannah?" Damon rolled his eyes.

"She's fine. Probably woke up this morning with a killer headache, not remembering a thing about last night due to what she thinks is a hangover. Some of it probably is," Damon reasoned. He was amused by the fact that Stefan actually looked relieved about the fact that he hadn't murdered her.

"So why did you stay over?" Stefan asked him.

"What is this, Twenty Questions?" Damon queried. When Stefan didn't answer, Damon merely sighed. "I stayed because she looked sick and I didn't want to leave her on her own. Capiche?" No need to mention any of the events in the flat last night besides Elena's impending illness. Like the almost-kiss. There was really no need to mention that.

Silence echoed between the two brothers. The only sound was Elena - her hairdryer, thrumming away in her room as she delayed coming to face them. Stefan seemed to be absorbing everything Damon had said to him. Damon was glad. He wanted Stefan to feel guilty for what he'd done to Elena. He wanted Stefan to think about what he'd said, or Damon never would have bothered saying it. Eventually, Stefan spoke once more.

"When you say she's depressed; is this another one of your games, Damon?" Stefan asked. Damon's eyes burned as he stared at his brother. Damon knew he'd had made hundreds of games over the decades, but with Elena? He couldn't. Trust Stefan not to recognise that.

"No, she was really depressed. It took a lot to snap her out of it, and I swear if you screw it up I will never forgive you." Damon threatened. He was deadly serious - he promised Stefan something similar before - an eternity of misery - and proved he could come through on it, to a point. He would do it again. Because this was Elena and she was actually worth it. The hairdryer cut out. They both took it as a symbol that the brotherly bonding time was over. Damon instantly moved to sit back down in the armchair, lounging there with eyes still on Stefan. Stefan just stood there, looking awkward, out of place, and mildly surprised in general. The expression on his face was worth more than Damon could imagine.

Elena walked in soon after the noise of the dryer had stopped, still wrapped up in her fluffy little bath robe. Damon's eyes immediately went to hers, and he decided she looked okay, even if she was still sick. Her gaze darted between the two brothers, clearly trying to calculate what the hell had gone on. However, she obviously decided against a comment and headed right for the sofa, looking like she wanted to collapse. She spoke as she walked, her voice still quiet, like a ghost. "I didn't expect to see you, Stefan," she said in a tone that suggested she'd never expected to see Stefan Salvatore again.

"I was in the area; I thought I'd see how you were doing," Stefan said softly.

"I'm fine, Stefan." Damon recognised the deflection for what it was. She wasn't comfortable in the situation. Damon felt some small spiteful victory at the fact she was comfortable around him and not Stefan, but it was dominated by concern. Damon didn't think she was ready for this. He knew Stefan had called her a couple of times, but Damon didn't like to think she could take this. Either she'd crawl back into a corner and cry her eyes out for sadness, or she'd go running back into his brother's arms. Damon didn't think he could stand to watch either.

The only thing that had kept him overnight was concern. She needed someone to protect her. Despite the fact that Stefan was back on the bunny diet, Damon liked to think he could look after her. He'd proved as much before. As much as Damon was afraid of what Stefan would do to her emotionally, he trusted him to take care of her physically. He was relatively sure no harm would come to Elena while Stefan was around. Which left Damon free to leave and do whatever the hell he wanted to do. No point in hanging around and prolonging the pain.

"Well, as much as I'd love to hang around, I'd rather not turn this into some tacky sitcom." Damon said, getting to his feet and grabbing his leather jacket from where he'd abandoned it last night. He then looked around at the expressions of the other two people in the room. Elena's wide eyed horror and Stefan's worry was enough to tip Damon over the edge. They were acting like he'd just announced he'd murdered some cute little puppies with fluffy ears and everything. It was an overreaction of the highest standard. Damon smirked slightly. "Have fun," he told them before heading down the hall for the front door. As far as Damon Salvatore was concerned, his work for the day was more than done.

"Damon." He heard her voice, the strongest it had been all day. She was following him down the hall, leaving good old Stefan behind. That was novel. Damon paused just in front of the door, turning to face Elena. They were alone in the hallway, but that didn't mean they were alone, per se. Stefan would be able to hear them perfectly well, bunny diet or not. "Damon, wait," Elena insisted.

"What, Elena? Want to kiss me goodbye?" he taunted, as much for his own amusement as to torture his brother. To be fair, Damon and Stefan were on better terms than they had been in the past. That didn't mean Damon didn't enjoy taking a shot or two occasionally. Elena looked at him pointedly. Damon rolled his eyes. "I'm coming back, Elena, if that's what you're so painfully concerned about."

"I wanted to thank you." Elena took him by surprise. Damon's brow creased in confusion.

"For what?"

"Staying. Trying to help," she said. Damon wasn't sure if she meant overnight or just in general over the past fortnight. He didn't ask; he was happy with her gratitude whatever it was for. With Elena Gilbert, Damon had to take what he got.

"Yeah, well, I'm sure Stefan can look after you just as well in my absence." Damon told her, deflecting. Funny how they both did that - hid how they really felt.

"I know. But he's not you," Elena whispered, in a voice so quiet Damon was sure Stefan couldn't have heard. It was like she was fading away right in front of him.

"Go on, go lie around on the couch and be a good sick person," Damon instructed her. Elena nodded, before slowly walking back down the hallway towards the lounge, almost reluctantly. Fancy that - she was reluctant go and face Stefan. It was interesting, but it didn't make Damon feel any better. He was still sure she'd be changed in some way by his brother's spectacularly timed visit. He couldn't imagine it being positive. She silently mouthed 'thank you' as she slowly paced down the hall. She really meant it. Damon just smiled a little, mournful half smile and mouthed back 'you're welcome', just like he had done before; back when they'd gone to rescue Elena from her kidnap by Rose.

Damon still remembered how that story had ended. She'd looked like she'd been running towards him - he'd been so close to finally reaching her. Then Stefan had just stepped back in and that had been the end of it all. Elena had gone back to lovely, saintly, rescuer Stefan and Damon had been left as the big bad soulless brother. And all was right in the world once more. As he slipped out Elena's front door and headed down the stairwell, he couldn't help but feel a little fear. That Elena would forgive his brother for every sin since the dawn of time and then she'd run back to him. It would break him. Damon had watched it all once, he couldn't watch it again. Not after she'd granted him so much hope. This was why Damon loved to shut off his feelings. It was just so much simpler to forget about all this pain and just not feel at all. Rose had tried to tell him there wasn't a switch. Damon was sure she'd been lying. It was just that he'd lost the ability to find and use his as of late.

He reached the outdoors and the cool morning air slapped him in the face. Damon breathed in deeply. There was a pretty young girl on a bench nearby. Her hair was flaming red, and she was silently crying her eyes out. Damon didn't normally like to deal with crying girls, but she was the closest member of the female species available. Damon sat down next to her, throwing up his charming-nice-guy act.

"Hey, are you okay?" The girl nodded, breathing in deeply.

"Fine. My boyfriend just dumped me, that's all." She spoke sadly. Damon had to restrain a smile. It was too perfect.

"How about I help you forget all about him?" Damon suggested innocently. The girl looked up at Damon, cautious, uncertain.

"No, I have to..." she began slowly.

"I insist." Damon said seductively, not even bothering with compulsion. She so clearly didn't require any. She might later, but that was beside the point. Eventually the girl nodded.

"Okay then." Damon got to his feet, holding out a hand for her.

"What your name?" Damon asked sweetly.

"Lisa."

"Come on, I'll take you for a drink." Damon told her, reassuringly. It wasn't so hard to find a distraction. He might have lost that emotional switch. But so be it. He'd make a new one.


	12. Shut Up and Let Me Go

_I have fabulous readers. The stats page blows my mind every time I see it. :) Thanks for all your reviews once again. As for this chapter, I have no idea where this side of Elena came from, but she turned up anyway. I think her illness really is going to her head. Either that or I've been watching the D/E scenes from 'The Sacrifice' too much. xD So I'd really love if you could let me know what you think about this chapter, because I don't know how I feel about it! Anyway, enough from me. :3_

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As the door from the lounge to the hallway closed, Elena couldn't help but feel she was closing the door on her only escape. But she was going to have to face Stefan sooner or later, so why not get it over with? She'd spoken to Stefan a couple of times since he'd left, but it was all on the phone. And it had all been strange, detached, alienated. Plus she'd been able to flee when she'd had enough. Now, there was nowhere to run to. Meeting Stefan face to face was an entirely different matter. There could be no more running, no more hiding.

Elena wasn't even sure _why_ she wanted to avoid this so badly. But she most definitely did. Even Damon had fled the scene. Elena couldn't blame him. He'd done more than he'd needed to by staying overnight while she was sick, vulnerable and potentially under attack. She owed him even more now. She'd thanked Damon, but she wasn't sure he'd ever understand how deep it went. For Elena, it ran as deep as the centre of the earth. It was from her heart, her very soul. She owed Damon so very much, and she didn't know that she'd ever repay him. She didn't know how.

Resigning herself to her own fate, Elena walked over to the sofa, stretching out on the fabric cushions. She was thankful for the seat - she still felt a little dizzy. She noticed the lounge had been cleared up since last night. She wondered if Damon had been up all morning. She couldn't really imagine him cleaning. It was a plain, labour intensive task that was the exact opposite of Damon Salvatore. But she appreciated the sentiment.

Her daydreams of Damon were interrupted when Stefan finally chose to speak. "How're you feeling?" Stefan asked, clearly concerned.

"Damon told you I was sick?" Stefan nodded. Elena wondered what else Damon had said whilst she was busy drying her hair. "I'm okay. I'm sure I'll be back to normal by tomorrow." Frankly, Elena was thankful that she felt reasonably lucid. She was dizzy, yes, but looking back on some of her emotions last night with Damon, she'd been downright delusional. She thought was better now in that respect. It was just as well - she needed a clear head to handle Stefan.

"Great," Stefan said, obviously glad she wasn't completely sick. Elena tried to remember where she'd left the conversation.

"So, what brings you to North Carolina?" Elena asked. She wasn't stupid - she knew Stefan had been states away for months.

"Do I need a reason?" Stefan asked, looking a little confused. Elena knew this was going to be a painful day.

"No." Silence hung in the air, tension building. It was uncomfortable, and Stefan couldn't be oblivious. He had to feel it too.

"So, how's Duke?" Yes, Stefan definitely felt it too.

"Oh, it's great. Pre-med is really interesting," Elena said. No point in mentioning that Damon was in her class. Absolutely no reason to mention she'd only started paying attention two weeks ago. It was November. It would only raise more uncomfortable questions about October and September - questions Elena didn't want to answer. She wasn't sure she _had_ answers.

Silence dominated again. Elena wasn't sure that she'd ever felt this awkward with Stefan. She didn't know what to do, what to say. It was ridiculous, but Elena had no idea what to _do_ about it. She half wished she'd left Stefan outside. It would have solved a lot of problems. But it was Stefan. There was still a part of her that would still bend the laws of the world for him. She'd let him in without thinking about it. She just really wished she knew what Damon had said. They hadn't looked comfortable when she walked back in - not even Damon. Actually, Damon had looked ever so slightly frustrated. Now, however, Stefan looked as awkward as she felt. Eventually, Elena sighed. She was always the one that had to speak out, because Stefan generally avoided the main issue for as long as possible. Always trying to protect her when she didn't need protecting.

"This isn't working." She said it plainly, sadly, trying to work through the sickness in her voice. She didn't want to be weak. But she couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't run from Stefan forever. But she couldn't have their relationship on this kind of plain forever either. Stefan didn't speak, didn't even react. The question burst out of Elena's lips before she could consider what she was really asking, what the consequences would be. "What did Damon say to you?"

"A lot of things," Stefan said, noncommittally.

"Like?" Elena prompted. Stefan shook his head.

"It's just Damon, playing games like always. He was probably lying."

"Tell me, Stefan," Elena implored, and for a moment, Stefan looked up, meeting her eyes. She thought he almost looked hopeful. She was using that tone that he'd never been able to refuse.

"He said you'd been ...depressed," Stefan choked out. Elena's eyes widened in surprise as she sucked in a breath. Damon had _told_ Stefan? Why? She'd trusted him. He'd gone and told Stefan about everything. Elena felt betrayed, and she didn't even know why. It wasn't like she'd ever sworn him to secrecy, but she just assumed ... what was to be gained by Stefan knowing anything about her new life? Elena looked away. "It's true, isn't it?" There was a gap of silence that Elena didn't bother to fill. "Is the drinking true as well?" Stefan accused.

Elena felt tears spark unbidden in her eyes. What_ hadn't_ Damon said? Why had he told Stefan anything? Elena could understand why Meredith had told Damon about the drinking, had trusted Damon with her depression because he was helping her. But Stefan? Elena didn't even want to _see_ Stefan. What good could come of him knowing? What had Damon been thinking? Had she really hurt him so badly last night by refusing him? Was this spite, Damon getting back at her in some way, leaving her to deal with it alone as a punishment? It was the only explanation Elena could come up with, and she hated it.

Elena didn't reply, but she could hear from Stefan's voice that he knew her silence was a 'yes'. "Oh, Elena. Why?" He sounded disappointed in her. Elena hated that. He wasn't _allowed_ to be disappointed in her. He was just as bad as the rest of them; he'd walked out on her too.

"I don't want to talk about it," Elena insisted. Stefan didn't say anything. Elena immediately felt a pang in her chest. She missed Damon - he never would have let her away with that. He would have challenged her and they would have fought fiercely about it. And then Damon would have been right all along and Elena would feel better for it later. That was how they seemed to work these days. It was strange. Stefan had used to be her cure for all ills. What had changed so much?

"I thought Damon was playing it up to get at me," Stefan murmured quietly. Elena swiped at her damp cheeks, trying to hide the tears. Where was Damon Salvatore when she needed him? She was going to _murder _him. She honestly wanted to rip him to bits for spilling everything and then _running_. Since when did Damon run from anything? Maybe her sickness was catching - it was making him delusional too.

"Why would you think that, Stefan?" Elena asked, exasperated. She knew the relationship between the brothers wasn't perfect, but Stefan always tried to make it sound like Damon's fault. It seemed that Stefan was always determined to see the absolute worst in his brother, no matter what.

"Because this is Damon, Elena. He always has a game to play," Stefan told her. Elena shook her head, finally looking back at Stefan.

"That's not true. He's not as bad as he used to be. After everything we went through, how can you even think that?" Elena insisted.

"Elena, can't you see? What he's doing, how he's playing you, playing us all?" Stefan persisted. Elena tried to stop the tears, but they just wouldn't cease.

"He's not doing anything but help me! You left, Stefan. You all _left._ How was I supposed to feel, what was I meant to do?" Elena asked. Stefan didn't have an answer. Elena hadn't honestly expected one. She didn't know where her defence of the elder Salvatore was coming from. It didn't seem right, coming from her lips. But she couldn't listen to Stefan's endless tirades against his brother. Not anymore.

After a few moments, Stefan spoke again. His voice was low, but Elena couldn't miss the words. "I thought you wanted me to leave." Elena laughed slightly. The sound was cold, harsh.

"I broke up with you, Stefan. I told you I wasn't _in_ love with you. I didn't say I never wanted to see you again," Elena said sadly. Because as much as she was frustrated by Stefan, and had wanted to avoid this encounter completely, she'd never wanted him gone. She had wanted Stefan as a friend. She loved him, but in the same way she loved Caroline, Jeremy, Jenna, Bonnie... but of course, _because_ he'd left Elena just felt worse about their whole relationship. She didn't want Stefan around if they were only going to fight all the time. She didn't want that kind of conflict in her life anymore.

Elena watched the dawning realisation on Stefan's face and knew that he really didn't have a clue. "Stefan, I never wanted you gone. There were times when I really needed a friend, and no one was there. Until Damon came back. So please, Stefan, can you just drop it?"

Stefan didn't reply. Silence span out. Elena's mind was reeling with it all. She just felt mad at everyone now. Mad at Damon for leaving her to _this._ Mad at Damon for telling Stefan _anything_ when he so clearly didn't deserve to know. Mad at Damon for backing down against his brother when Elena finally wanted him to _stand up for himself_. Mad at Stefan because he really didn't have a damn clue. Mad at Stefan because he insisted on casting Damon as the evil brother. Mad at her friends and _everyone _for leaving her and expecting her to continue on like Pac-Man, because she was Elena and nothing got her down, right? She couldn't stop crying. But they weren't tears of sorrow - they were of pure, unadulterated, passionate anger. And yet again, Stefan didn't have the beginning of an idea of how to handle her.

"I'm sorry, Elena. For all it's worth," Stefan murmured. Elena was too angry to focus, too angry to think straight. Somewhere deep inside, something panged at Stefan's apology. But it was far too late. She was already past taking apologies from him. Elena shook her head. Stefan pressed on. "I never meant any of this to happen. I never meant to hurt you. I just...I miss you Elena. And Damon..." Elena cut him off.

"You know what? Let's not make this about Damon," Elena told him acidly. Silence reigned once more. Elena used to time to try and dry her eyes, stop the tears. She hated this. Maybe being sick had thrown all her hormones out of balance. She didn't think she was usually this bad.

"Elena, I still miss you. I want to make it right. How can I make it right?" Stefan almost sounded desperate. Elena looked up, meeting his eyes with a look of pure sadness. It was enough to break Stefan's heart. Elena had a feeling he knew what she was going to say before she said it.

"You can't Stefan. I'm sorry. But you... we can't mend this. I want us to be friends, but we... the past is gone, Stefan." Elena had recognised it as a conscious choice. This was Stefan offering her a door, a way out. A way back to how her life had used to be. This was Stefan asking her if she would love him once more. Elena knew the answer. As much as she missed their past, she couldn't go back to it. It would never work. She'd broken up with Stefan once for a reason. She'd be a fool if she went back.

Stefan nodded, looking kind of sad. Oddly enough, Elena didn't feel heartbroken, or in pain. Behind all her simmering anger, she just felt...free. She could do what she wanted now without concerning herself with Stefan Salvatore. That much was clear. She hadn't been sure how she felt about Stefan before. Now she knew. She'd felt tied to him by duty, almost. She'd spent so long with Stefan; she couldn't adjust to life without him. But now, she felt better. If this was what life with Stefan was _now, _then she didn't want any part of it. Fighting and misunderstandings and miscommunications? What kind of a relationship was that? She had wanted Stefan as a friend. She still did. But not like this. Not if he was going to spend every second telling her that Damon was playing games with her. She could make her own decisions about Damon Salvatore. She didn't need Stefan to protect her from life anymore. Not even from this new threat. After all, she was safe in the house. And even when the walls came crumbling down... she had Damon. Who'd ultimately proved he was the better person for picking her up, putting her back together and forcing her through life. Stefan had just sat there and let her do what she wanted when he'd found out how bad she'd been. Damon had forced her to heal, to change. Elena didn't even have to choose which was better for her.

"I was a fool," Stefan murmured, almost to himself. Elena didn't answer. Because she knew what she'd say, and she didn't want to say it for fear of regretting it later. '_Yes, you were, Stefan. You were dumb and now you're paying the price. So don't ask me to come back to you a second time.' _She would never say it. She was angry, but she wasn't spiteful. She wasn't Katherine. No matter how many times she was called it, she refused to be Katherine.

"Damon said someone called you Katherine last night," Stefan said, trying to move on. It just made Elena feel worse, especially after her last thoughts. She'd stopped crying, but she wasn't any more stable.

"Is there anything he didn't say?" Elena asked edgily. Stefan ignored her.

"It's okay, Elena. Everything will be okay," Stefan said softly, like she was a scared little girl that needed comfort. She wasn't. Elena inhaled, inches away from snapping. She couldn't take this anymore.

"I don't know how things are going to turn out right now. I don't think I care, either, Stefan, because I'm too busy focusing on our relationship. But if you want to move onto my other drama, then fine. Just take it elsewhere," Elena spoke calmly, smoothly, but she was still raging inside. Stefan actually looked surprised.

He sat there for a few moments, while Elena stared out the window. Then he stood. Elena heard the action, but refused to even acknowledge it. "I'll go now. I'm sure you've got studying I'm keeping you from," Stefan said softly. Elena silently thought that the last thing she wanted to do was study, but she just closed her eyes and refused him a response. It wasn't that she hated Stefan. It was that she was frustrated at him. Him and his brother.

"How long are you in town for?" Elena asked coolly, not even turning. She wanted to know how long she'd have to endure this for. And how long she had the chance to make Stefan see the truth.

"Just a few days," Stefan replied. Elena nodded, finally looking over to Stefan, who stood by the lounge door.

"Maybe I'll see you around, then," Elena said. It was her code for _'I might see you again if I'm feeling less angry at you.'_ She knew Stefan wouldn't get it. It didn't matter to her if he did or not.

"Get well soon, Elena," Stefan wished before slipping out.

It was only when the front door closed did Elena realise Stefan really had left. Which meant she was alone even with the new threat of the mistake identity hanging over her. Their relationship really was fractured. There was a time when Stefan never would have let her leave his sight in a time like this. Maybe he'd finally realised she didn't need a guard dog. She just needed someone she could trust. It wasn't like she wasn't safe in her flat, anyway. But Stefan had never understood that. It spoke volumes for the fact that their relationship really was broken through the fact she'd been consciously left alone.

Damon was going to go insane when he found out.

Elena didn't know _how_ she knew this fact, but she did. Maybe she was overestimating. Damon had never seen the need to wrap her in cotton wool. He let her get close to the action, within reason. Still out of harm's way, but still involved. Never coddled up in Alaska, waiting for news like an exile. Maybe he wouldn't go completely insane. It was a nice thought, that there was still one Salvatore that understood how her mind worked.

In fact, Elena was left alone until half past one in the afternoon. Four and a half hours was pretty good, for her. She heard the door open as someone stepped inside. Elena didn't respond, she just continued watching the garbage that was daytime TV. She didn't react until she heard him approaching the lounge. She knew it was him for a fact. Meredith was in class and Stefan wouldn't dare come back after that morning. No one else would just waltz in uninvited.

As soon as Elena heard the doorknob twist, she got to her feet, and in a burst of energy, walked right over to the door. Damon had barely gotten the door open when she slapped him full across the face. She'd caught him by surprise. That was one plus point for her. Damon looked at her in shock and irritation, before flexing his jaw, running a hand along his jawbone.

"This is becoming a habit," he complained, anger beginning to burn behind his eyes. Elena's own fury had been burning all morning. The benefit of Stefan leaving her alone was that she'd had time to consider things. She might have been a bit rash with some of her outbursts at Stefan, but Damon? He deserved everything that was coming to him. She kept her anger alive, just for him. Her passion in that moment was unrivalled, even by him.

"I _trusted _you," Elena spat out, letting every inch of her feelings of betrayal show. Damon arched one of those perfect eyebrows, and stared at her.

"What happened?" Damon asked, almost sounding bored. It just added fuel to Elena's fire.

"_You_ told Stefan _everything_. And then you _left _me on my_ own_. How could you do that to me, Damon? Stefan didn't need to know half of what you told him," Elena told him.

"What didn't he have a right to know, Elena? I think he had every right to know he made you half catatonic." Damon retorted.

"It wasn't just him! Besides, no one needs to know that. It's _my decision_ who finds out how I spent my time. Not yours, Damon."

"It's not like you kept it a state secret."

"That's not the point! I trusted you Damon. You might as well have hung a banner in the street. And you _know_ how I feel about all this. Why did you leave me to that, anyway? I didn't want any of that," Elena told him. She didn't understand why Damon had left.

"What, was it torture, talking to Stefan? Did he shove bamboo under your nails, tie you to a chair? You're being dramatic, Elena, and you know it." Damon accused. Elena had to clench her hands into fists to stop her from slapping him again.

"The great Damon Salvatore, finally backing down from a fight with his own brother," Elena taunted. That seemed to snap it into place for Damon. She could see it in his eyes, that moment when everything came into place and his frustration at her started to show.

"Dammit, Elena. Do you want to know why I left? Because you _needed_ to talk to him."

"Why? What reason could I possibly have for talking to him?"

"You needed it. You don't start drinking hard liquor every night when you're perfectly at ease with your breakup. You got yourself into this mess because everyone left? Well, the only way you fix that is by _doing _something, Elena."

"We are doing something! I'm going out again, amn't I?"

"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel better in some way for talking to him."

Elena was caught. She couldn't do it - she'd already recognised that she felt free again. That talking to Stefan had tied off a loose end or two for her. And she wouldn't lie to Damon. Not like this.

"Thought so," he said smugly. And that was the straw that broke Elena's back.

"Get out," she hissed. She took pleasure in the fact that Damon actually looked surprised. When he didn't react, Elena repeated herself. "Get. Out."

"Elena..." Damon said warningly.

"I mean it Damon. I'm not in the mood for your shit, okay? So get out, or I'll leave myself. And I know you want me to have the stupid invite protection right now."

"Fine." Damon said flatly. He was gone in the blink of an eye. Elena turned around and collapsed back onto the sofa, completely drained. She didn't know where she'd pulled the energy from for a shouting match with Damon. But she had. She covered her face with her hands, inhaling deeply. She'd been wanting to do that for a while. But as she sat there, she could feel her anger slipping away with every passing second. Elena tried to cling to it, because guilt was seeping into its place. She'd wanted to tell Damon what she thought about his actions all day.

She couldn't say she felt any better for it.


	13. Forgive and Forget

_Thanks so much for the reviews! I feel slightly better about Elena now. ;) As always, I love reading your reviews, so don't be afraid to let me know what you think!_

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Impossible. That was the only word in Elena's mind as she finally went back to class. She'd spent two days off since her night-time illness. Which meant it had been almost precisely 48 hours since Stefan had arrived. 42 hours since she'd slapped Damon, determined to be mad at him. The thing was, it was impossible for Elena to stay mad at either of them.

Stefan was the first to break her resolve. After he'd left, he'd called the next day. He wanted to know if it was okay if he came over. Elena had seriously thought about it before she'd answered. She didn't want to see him, in a way. She was still mad that he used Damon as an excuse for everything. She was still mad that he truly was clueless when it came to her. Elena had worked out what had changed about their relationship - her.

Yet Elena still liked Stefan, still wanted to fix their relationship and let them be friends. And she'd been a bit harsh in how she'd said some things to Stefan. She owed him - and herself- a chance to fix it. A chance to make it right, in some way. She'd agreed to let him in. She made coffee, and they sat and talked. It was good. Elena had needed it.

Most of the chat was meaningless, but relaxed, friendly, and the exact opposite of the day before. They'd both apologised to each other and moved on. It was good, healthy. Elena was surprised when Damon came up again, though. But not in the expected context.

"You and Damon seem pretty close," Stefan had commented. It was meant to be harmless; Elena could tell.

"Yeah, well, we've been spending a lot of time together," Elena explained.

"You're good for him," Stefan had told her sincerely, plunging in at the deep end. That was where Elena's surprise began. She didn't respond, so Stefan just ploughed on. "He's better these days. I don't think he would have changed so much if it wasn't for you."

"But there was all the stuff with Katherine..." Elena said, trying to deflect it all from her shoulders. Stefan just shook his head.

"I think most of it was you." They were silent for a moment before Stefan spoke again. "Don't be afraid of doing anything with him because of me." Stefan spoke softly, and Elena could almost see the pain it was causing him. It was like he didn't want to say it.

"We're just friends." Elena insisted, but she couldn't help being curious at what had brought this on. Had Damon said something? Or, worse; had Stefan heard what she'd said to Damon in the hallway and taken it completely the wrong way?

"I know." Stefan's declaration had seriously surprised her - this from the man who had told her Damon was manipulating her only a day before. Stefan seemed to realise what she was thinking.

"I'm hard on him because of the last century and a half of our lives. I can't change that, Elena."

"You could. If you wanted to." Stefan didn't reply. They moved away from Damon as a topic of conversation quickly, but Elena couldn't help but let Stefan's words play on her mind. It was crazy. She wished Stefan would make up his mind about his brother so Elena could just move on. But it showed her one thing. Despite everything that had happened, Stefan and Damon were still brothers. As much as they hated to admit it; especially to each other.

Elena had also failed miserably in forcing herself to be mad at Damon. She was still upset that Damon had spilled her life story out so freely and easily. But she saw the point now. She thought she understood why Damon had said all those things to Stefan and left her alone. And that empathy made it so much harder to legitimately stay mad at anyone. Damon had told Stefan because yes, he did have a right to know. Elena partly put it down to the fact that he also still liked taking cheap shots at Stefan at any opportunity. It made it easier for Elena to move on past Stefan if he knew what had happened anyway. No secrets; no loose ends. Damon had left because he'd thought he was being noble, giving her space to talk to Stefan. Either that or he was afraid that she was going to run back into Stefan's arms, in which case he really wouldn't want to witness it. Elena silently wished Damon hadn't been so selfless. In this instance, she'd have preferred selfish, scornful, sarcastic Damon. But either way, things had worked out between her and Stefan. And Elena felt better for it. She felt good.

Yet although Elena was no longer angry with the elder Salvatore, she still hadn't faced him. Not since the day when she'd hit him, shouted at him, and then thrown him out of the flat. Not the best premise for getting back to normal. He'd only been trying to help and she'd just slapped him in the face and told him to take it elsewhere. Literally. She'd been feeling guilty since the second he'd left. It had only been getting worse. Even Meredith had noticed her feelings.

Meredith had arrived home that night, looking concerned. She had been the one who'd sent Damon to rescue her at the party, so Elena thanked her. Meredith brushed it off, more concerned with how Elena was doing. Elena had tried her normal deflection of 'I'm fine', but for the first time in a very long time, it didn't work.

"No, you're not," Meredith had answered sympathetically. Elena was hit by how much of a true friend Meredith was to her now. She hadn't thought she'd had any friends. But now, she had Meredith, if no one else.

"My ex showed up," Elena said.

"Hm. How did that go for you?" Meredith had asked, clearly concerned.

"Oh, it was okay. We kind of had a fight. But I think we're okay. Or at least, I hope we will be."

"But that's not what's bothering you, is it?" Meredith asked with a slight smile on her lips. Elena sometimes thought Meredith was too intelligent for her own good.

"I had a fight with Damon too." Elena admitted. "I think I was out of line. He did something I don't like, but he only meant well. I thought he was wrong to do it, but now..."

"You're not sure how you feel." Meredith concluded. "Do you really think he didn't mean to hurt you?"

"Yes. Yes. But it doesn't make it right." Elena repeated herself, like she was trying to convince herself. Damon would never be that spiteful. Would he? Not once he'd had a whole night to cool off.

"No, but maybe you should just forgive him anyway. We all make mistakes. Even Damon," Meredith said knowingly. Elena had accepted Meredith's advice. She just didn't know how to execute it. Forgiving Damon was something done without so many words. All Elena really knew was that she was done with being angry at Damon. But that always seemed to happen, didn't it? No matter what Damon did, she always forgave him. The lack of lines in their relationship scared her half to death. She needed to make some. There had to be a limit to how far she would let Damon go. There _had_ to be.

Elena walked into the lecture hall, looked towards her normal spot at the back of the room. Damon was already there. Elena paused for a moment, closing her eyes, breathing in. She was ready for this. Why did she feel so nervous? Steeling herself, Elena moved on, confidently walking in and sitting down in the seat next to Damon. He didn't even look at her. Elena bit her lip slightly, pulling books out of her bag. When it became clear Damon really wasn't going to start any kind of contact, Elena chose to break the silence.

"Hello, Damon," she said softly. Damon didn't look up. But he did reply. It was something, anyway.

"Someone's feeling better." His voice only made her more nervous. Why was she nervous? It wasn't due to the fact she'd slapped a 170 year old vampire in the face, and was now trying to get back to a normal friendship with him. She'd been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt. It was nothing new. What reason was there for her nerves? None. So Elena tried to shove them away. It was best for everyone.

"Much better, thank you," Elena replied. Damon finally looked up at her. The numbers of walls behind his blue eyes were frightening. Elena didn't think she'd seen him this shut off from her in months. What kind of damage had she done? What had she _done?_

"Over the hissy fit too?" Damon asked her, arching one of his eyebrows.

"I'm not going to apologise for getting mad at you." Elena spoke frankly, her nerves not even registering in her voice.

"Oh?"

"There is a line of too much information, Damon. You crossed it with Stefan. You're not blameless." Elena said, deliberately not meeting Damon's intensely blue eyes.

"If that's what you think," Damon said, in a way that made it clear he didn't care what she thought, he was going to be stubborn about it either way.

"It is." Elena confirmed. She paused for a moment. "But I think I over reacted. I shouldn't have hit you." Elena dared to peek up at Damon. He was looking distinctly curious, if not a little surprised. Elena drew in a quick breath, her confidence boosted by the fact Damon didn't look furious. Or disbelieving. "I'm sorry."

Damon looked away. "Yeah, well, I'm getting used to it." Elena winced. How many times had she tried to slap Damon now? Three times? Four? Anyone would think that she hated him. But that was the thing - she didn't.

Class started, suspending any further conversations between them. Elena focused herself on the lecture, trying to ignore Damon and her personal drama. These days, class was becoming a tie to normality; to sanity. But it was nigh on impossible to ignore Damon for such a long period of time when he was so close by. Elena occasionally glanced over, and it was clear that Damon wasn't paying any attention to the lecture. He had a notepad out and his pen was moving. But Damon wasn't taking notes. He was drawing.

Elena tried to ignore his sketches, but after a time, her curiosity got the better of her. She kept peeking over. It was nothing that made sense. An eye. A set of vines. A heart (the real organ, not the fluffy love hearts). Elena didn't understand where any of the drawings came from, but she did notice one thing. They were _good._ Elena had never been the best artist. She'd clawed her way through art class, and her skills had extended to making banners with Caroline and Bonnie for school fairs and that kind of thing. That was it. Jeremy, of course, had been different, and had often been seen with a sketchpad. But Damon? She hadn't imagined him having hobbies or skills or anything like that.

'_Why not?'_ She asked herself this curiously. She'd been in Damon's room, she'd seen the stacks of novels he kept. So she supposed, she'd connected him to reading. But that wasn't much of a hobby, in Elena's mind. It wasn't productive, creative. She'd never seen Damon as having something like that to pass time - unless it was alcohol and women. Who would have thought he would be an artist?

Elena was still examining the tracery of the vines when class ended. Everyone was up and moving before Elena knew what was happening. Damon caught her looking. He looked up at her, raising an eyebrow as he closed the notepad over, ditching it into the bag he had at his feet. Elena blinked, stirring herself and coming back to the real world. She blushed slightly, and she had no idea why.

"Yes, Elena?" Damon asked in what seemed to be a perfectly polite tone. Elena knew there was so much more underneath it. She dropped her gaze, clearing away her own notes.

"I never knew you drew," Elena said quietly.

"Is it a problem?" Damon asked, clearly confused.

"No! Not at all. I'm just... surprised." Elena admitted. There was a paused. Elena looked up at Damon, who was sitting there, looking insanely amused. Elena inhaled deeply, standing up and walking along the row of seats towards the door. "Forget I said anything."

She made it outside and about fifteen paces towards her flat before Damon caught her up. He would have been there sooner, but she supposed he couldn't use his vampire-speed in a public place without attracting attention. She was thankful for it. She needed some time to herself.

"I only draw these days when I'm bored out of my skull." He said it pointedly. Elena glanced over at him.

"No one's forcing you to sit in pre-med." Elena replied, equalling his tone. Damon shrugged. "Why are you even in that class, anyway?" Elena had been curious for so long; she wasn't about to turn down the opportunity to ask. Damon just smiled slightly at her, amused again.

"Chalk it up to curiosity."

"Curiosity?" Elena repeated.

"Well, everyone seems so hooked on college and university and that kind of thing these days. I thought I'd see what all the fuss is about." Damon told her. Elena wasn't convinced, but she could tell she wasn't about to get a better answer. As she watched Damon, she was struck with a thought. She really didn't know Damon at all. Sure, she got him, she understood him. But she didn't know him. She didn't know that he drew when he was bored, hadn't know much about his reading habits until she'd dared to venture into his room. She knew nothing about what he liked, what he didn't like. She also had no idea about his history. Sure, she knew the stuff that had happened in 1864 with Katherine, and some of the details of his early days as a vampire. But that was through Stefan, not him. So maybe... maybe she should get to know him.

Elena was tempted to brush the thought away. She was being silly. She knew all she needed to about Damon. They were just friends. That didn't require full disclosure. She should be grateful Damon was even at Duke, not questioning why. She liked him being around. It made her feel like she hadn't been abandoned; like she was still worth something. And despite everything he'd done (or maybe because of it) Elena felt safe with Damon. Maybe that was a little twisted, but she knew deep down it was true.

"So, you heard anything from Katherine's latest scorned boy toy?" Damon asked, an edge of cynicism in his voice. Elena felt her heartstrings tighten. No matter what happened, Katherine was still a scar in Damon. She just wouldn't go away. Elena shook her head.

"No. Should I have?" Elena asked, curious as to what Damon's theory was. Damon shrugged.

"Depends on his angle. As much as I'd love him to have run away, I get the feeling it's unlikely."

"So what do we do?" Elena asked, feeling slightly nervous. But then again, this was nothing she hadn't faced before.

"Nothing." Damon said like it was obvious. Elena looked over at him, her eyes saying _'are you crazy?'_ Damon just rolled his eyes at her. "There's nothing to do." Damon could obviously tell she wasn't satisfied. Elena stopped walking, and Damon moved to stand in front of her. Before Elena knew what was happening, she was trapped under those blue, blue eyes. "Elena, I promise, nothing will happen to you whilst I'm around."

Elena nodded. "I know."

"Then what's the big deal? There's nothing we can do. I can't find him; there's nothing to track him with anyway, so not even a witch could find him. Even you can't chase the invisible, Elena. There is nothing for us to do unless he comes back. Okay?" Damon explained carefully. Elena nodded slowly.

"I don't like waiting around for things to happen, I guess," Elena admitted. She started walking again, and Damon fell into step beside her.

"You think I do?" he asked. Elena didn't need to think about the answer. She didn't even need to reply. "Just live your life, Elena. Be happy that you have a period free of anyone trying to kill you," Damon encouraged her. Elena gave him a vague smile. It seemed like a reasonable request.

"Fine. Then would you like to come over tonight?" Elena spoke before she could think things through, but she was confident. This couldn't be a mistake.

"Sorry?" Damon asked. He clearly thought he'd misheard.

"Come round to my flat tonight. It's Thursday. Meredith won't be home until late tonight. Don't expect any fabulous food though, I can't cook." Elena explained. Damon smirked.

"You want me round so I can cook for you?" Damon calculated. Elena shrugged.

"I want you round so we can hang out. The cooking help is a bonus." Damon seemed to consider her offer.

"What time does Meredith get home at?"

"Seven." Elena said promptly. "She meets up with friends on a Thursday."

"Quite the hectic social life," Damon commented.

"She can do whatever she wants, as far as I'm concerned." There was a pause for a moment.

"I'll be round at five." Damon said, finally. Elena smiled.

"Good."

She didn't know where her sudden desire to spend a nice, normal evening with Damon came from, but it did. It would be very normal; just two friends, spending time together. Was that so much to ask? Besides, if Damon wanted her to live her life, then this was a perfectly valid way of doing so. Everything would be fine.

As long as he didn't try to kiss her again.


	14. Choices

_Thanks again for all the reviews! I wrote this chapter with you guys in mind - I got Damon's PoV in because it seemed necessary. :) Bit of a filler chapter, but don't worry. Plot movement will resume next chapter. Anyway, enjoy and let me know what you think! _

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Elena decided that despite her appalling culinary skills, she was going to try and cook anyway. Meredith dropped by as Elena was putting the groceries away in the fridge. She was picking up a few things before heading out for the evening. Elena cooking (or even looking like she was going to) was such an unusual occurrence that Meredith got curious.

"Who's all the effort for? Stefan?" Meredith asked. Elena peeked around the fridge door at Meredith, who was watching her.

"God no. I think he's leaving soon, anyway." Elena said. Stefan had said he would be around for a few days; it had been a few days.

"And you're okay with that?"

"I think so." Elena admitted. She was over Stefan, true. She'd moved on. She felt free from the chains she'd wrapped herself in, all with his name on them. But she didn't know how she felt. True, they'd talked yesterday, and it had been nice. Friendly almost. She certainly didn't feel angry at him anymore. But she was still...irked. She was just so determined to move past it that she'd made an effort to be friendly yesterday. It had worked. She could see them being friends. But at the same time, she wished Stefan would just leave. She couldn't handle his blindness, and his determination to turn everything back onto Damon. It wasn't always Damon's fault. Yes, he made mistakes. But so did they. For instance, Elena had made a mistake when she slapped Damon. She'd made mistakes every second since she'd been left alone. And even now Damon was back, trying to help, she still made them.

"One of those relationships, huh?" Meredith asked. Elena nodded. "So, the food is for..?"

"Damon's coming over." Elena said simply. Meredith's eyebrows shot up. "What?"

"Is that the best idea?" Meredith asked. Elena looked over to her flatmate, surprised and confused.

"What do you mean?" Elena asked, sounding a little suspicious. Elena mentally slapped herself. She had no reason for her suspicions. She needed to cool it off. Now. Meredith seemed to be deciding what to say.

"Well, I mean, with all the stuff with Stefan...you might make a mistake or two." Meredith said carefully. Elena had a nagging feeling that it wasn't what Meredith had wanted to say. Although the point was still valid. She seemed to be screwing everything up lately. She wouldn't be surprised if she made a monumental mistake and lost everyone. Again. Elena was wondering if she might deserve it these days. But that was harsh. Wasn't it?

"I'll be fine, Meredith. I promise not to burn down the flat." Meredith just shrugged, before picking up her bag off of the sofa.

"Fine. Have fun, then?" Meredith proposed. Elena smiled.

"You too." As Meredith left, Elena couldn't help but feel she knew more than she was letting on. Something (sadly) wasn't quite right. Elena wondered if she was over thinking.

Elena didn't bother to start cooking until Damon was due to turn up. That way, at least if something went badly wrong, someone that could survive in a kitchen would be able to help. It was odd. Elena could cook, to a degree. She could throw a packet in a microwave or just shove something in the oven for whatever it said on the packet. She could handle the basics. But the second it came to trying to actually _make_ something out of raw ingredients, Elena failed miserably. Her father had made great efforts when she was younger, trying to teach Elena to cook. For the most part, it hadn't been too successful.

Yet Elena knew exactly why she was making an effort. She was trying to make it up to Damon. Forgiving Damon was one thing. But she'd over reacted. She wasn't completely innocent in all of this. And from the number of walls she'd seen in Damon, she knew she'd hurt him. If their positions had been flipped, Elena would have been hurt too. If she'd only been trying to help, and had been treated like that, she'd be _furious_. So she owed Damon more. She owed Damon far too much these days. She'd never be able to repay it.

She didn't deserve him.

It was the first time she'd thought it. But she didn't deserve Damon. She liked having him around, most of the time. And all she did was hurt him. The guilt was tearing her up. She wanted to change it. She wanted to make it up to Damon. But she didn't know how to. Dinner was a baby step in the right direction. At least, that was what Elena hoped it would be. As long as she didn't get out of hand. As long at Damon didn't try to kiss her. She was ready to do a great many things, but she wouldn't face Damon's misguided romance with her. Elena was going to have to try and make him see that she wasn't right for him. She'd hurt him so many times, and there was a good man at the heart of Damon. That Damon deserved so much more than her. She would prove that. She could do it. For Damon, she would do it.

Elena yanked out a chopping board and focused herself on slicing up an onion specifically to distract herself from her thought pattern. It was just before five anyway. If she sliced her hand open, Damon would be here soon to take her to the ER for stitches. Or, you know, drain all the blood from her body, but she'd been injured around Damon before and he'd never done that. Elena knew he was a lot more in control of that side of his nature than Stefan. She trusted Damon with everything she had.

The hands on the kitchen wall clock struck five, and Elena was yet to cause any disasters in the kitchen. She almost had the onion completely decimated, so she pulled the packet of bacon out of the fridge, along with a fresh chopping board and a clean knife. She then pulled a strip out and started dicing that up too. Despite her lacking cooking skills, hacking things to bits was actually quite soothing. She didn't get so far though.

Considering she was interrupted when the doorbell rang.

* * *

Elena let him in without a fuss. Damon wasn't sure what to expect from tonight. In all honesty, Damon had been reluctant to accept. Elena had been a little crazy as of late; it was hard to keep up with. One moment, she was hugging him for dear life, and Damon had actually felt like he had a chance with Elena. So much so that he'd tried to kiss her. Biggest mistake of the year so far. Then, of course, she'd slapped him around the face and driven him into the dirt. And now she had apologised and asked him around for the evening. Could anyone keep up with that? Could anyone blame him for considering saying no?

Because the truth of the matter was, this was killing him. Damon was still in love with Elena. He knew it better than anything else. He loved her. He'd told her, once, all those months ago. Stefan had deserved her then. Frankly, Damon still had a tiny thought that Stefan still deserved her now. But Stefan had screwed it up without any assistance on his part, and Elena had left him. Damon wasn't going to complain about it. He still wondered what she felt for his brother. Was she considering taking him back? That was another reason for him avoiding seeing her tonight. Every time he saw Elena, he couldn't help but wonder if she was about to go back to Stefan. Smash his heart all over again. He wouldn't be able to take that. Damon knew that if Stefan came back, he would leave. He wouldn't put himself through that again.

Of course, he'd tried to leave once already. Just over three months ago. He'd left Mystic Falls, determined to forget about Elena Gilbert and everything related to her. He didn't need her, and she clearly didn't need or want him. So what was the point in staying? But every day he'd spent away from her, trying to distract himself, he'd ended up thinking about her. What was she doing? How was she getting on? Did she think about him? Or had she forgotten him like he so desperately wanted to forget her? Because he had to face it, loving Elena Gilbert had brought him damn all. More pain that any one man could be expected to handle. That was about it. He was a voluntary glutton for punishment with every second he spent near her. But he'd tried to stay away. He'd failed.

Then he'd seen how depressed she was, how badly out of control her life was. And then he'd known he couldn't walk away again. Not until she was better. If Damon had found her with a new, happy life, he liked to think he would have walked away satisfied. But she was in pain, and like the idiotic sap he was, he couldn't leave her in pain. So he'd made it his goal to make her better. He wasn't getting a hell of a lot of a 'thank you' for his troubles either. So why bother? Why suffer through the pain and misery? Because she was Elena? That reason was slowly becoming less and less attractive, although Damon was still sadly unable to walk away. He wanted to distance himself from her. Because at least if he stood at a distance, surely the pain would ease. If he no longer let his emotions get wrangled up in Elena Gilbert, then he'd feel better, wouldn't he? It seemed like a sound theory. He was willing to try anything at this stage. And yet here he was. In Elena's flat. Helping her cook.

If that didn't make him a complete sucker, Damon didn't know what did.

It was standing there, cooking mince in a pan for Elena whilst she was busy dicing anything in sight, that Damon considered if this was worth it. Elena had made it crystal clear three nights ago that she didn't want him the same way that Damon wanted her. So what was the point? It would only torture him further if he stuck around. Maybe, once all this 'Katherine' business was over, he'd be better to just leave. Elena could live her life, and Damon could drown his sorrows in Vegas. There was no down side. He would leave now if it wasn't for this new threat. The pain was too much. It was destroying him. It was all he could do to hide it from Elena. He'd be damned if he let her know how much power she had over him. If he let her know exactly was she was doing to him.

"So, what are you trying to make, anyway?" Damon asked. He was done with the moping thoughts. He wasn't his little brother. He didn't brood. He didn't pretend to be something he wasn't, either.

"Spaghetti Bolognese," Elena told him, coming over and dumping bacon, onion, and liberal amounts of tomato puree into the pan Damon was working over.

"I'm going to ignore the irony of you trying to cook me Italian." Damon commented. Elena smiled slightly. "Bold move, for someone who can't cook." Elena shrugged.

"I wanted to try and make something nice. Besides, it's not my fault. My mom couldn't cook either."

"Are you blaming genes? Because that excuse really doesn't work in your case." Damon informed her. Elena smiled slightly.

"Upbringing, I suppose. I don't know; I never could cook. My Dad took great pains to try and teach me, but it didn't work so well." Elena admitted. Damon could just imagine a tiny Elena, sitting on the kitchen counter while her father tried to teach her how to cook.

They worked in companionable silence until the Bolognese sauce was more or less complete. It had to be left to cook on for a while, which gave them time to themselves. They talked for a while, until Damon eventually pulled some wine glasses from Elena's cupboard, before pouring out some of the red wine he'd brought over. They'd already opened the bottle to add some of the drink to the sauce. Elena eyed the glass suspiciously.

"You know I'm underage," Elena told him. Damon raised an eyebrow.

"And you used to have a glass of something every night. I'm not concerned unless you are," Damon said plainly. He trusted Elena; she might have been nearing alcoholic, but she wasn't out of control. And what was one glass of wine when foreign drinking ages were reaching new lows of sixteen? Elena seemed to accept his argument as she took a glass and sipped at it.

"So, what drove you to attempt cooking?" Damon asked. He was honestly curious. Elena had admitted she didn't cook if she could avoid it. Yet here she was, trying to make Italian food. He could only guess at the reasons. Elena just shrugged.

"I wanted to make an effort."

"Because?"

"Because I owe you, Damon Salvatore." Damon wasn't sure what he'd been expected. That certainly hadn't been on the list. He covered his surprise well. Just raised an eyebrow and a look at her over his glass. After so long, he was very good at covering up little inconveniences like emotion. He didn't even have to ask why, she just talked on anyway. She sighed first, mind you. "I shouldn't have been so harsh. So I want to make it up to you."

"You think pasta covers that?" Damon asked, his voice thick with implications. In truth, he was just obsessively curious. Elena swirled the wine in her glass, watching the liquid flow.

"No. But I think it's a start." There was a pause. Damon took a sip of the wine before choosing to speak.

"You don't owe me anything, Elena." He said it softly, but with just the right dangerous, harsh tone to catch her attention. Her gorgeous, warm brown eyes were caught on his in an instant. It was almost like he was compelling her, the way her gaze stayed completely fixed on his. She wasn't wearing her vervain necklace either. Maybe he could compel her. Not that he was attempting to.

"Sorry?" Elena asked, sounding a little breathless. Damon restrained the urge to smirk.

"Don't be nice to me out of some twisted idea of debt. You want me to come over, then ask me over. Don't do it as some kind of repayment. I make my own decisions. You don't need to pay me for them."

The last thing Damon wanted was Elena feeling like she owed him something. Debt made people do crazy things, just so they felt like they'd repaid someone. He didn't want Elena doing anything crazy. And he certainly didn't want her acting friendly out of _debt_. That was just crazy. And it would mess with his mind.

"Fine." Elena replied, sipping her own glass of wine. She eyed him for a moment, looking like she was thinking something over. "It doesn't change anything Damon." Damon smiled. That was the Elena he knew. The Elena he loved. Stubborn as hell.

"I figured you'd say that," he replied. Elena looked at him sideways, a slight smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

"Oh really?" she challenged.

"Yup. You don't listen to a word I say." How true. How many times had he tried to say 'Elena, I'm in love with you' without getting into the 'I love you' phrasing? And how many times had she missed the hint completely? (And she thought Stefan was clueless.)

"I do too." Elena countered. Damon smirked.

"Only when it suits you."

"You make me sound like a stubborn old mule."

"You _are_ a stubborn old mule." Elena's lips twisted into a lopsided grin that clearly said she was scheming.

"Oh really?" She took a few paces forward, until she was so close to him that their bodies were almost touching. Her scent of lavender and jasmine radiated into his senses. Damon kept cool on the outside, just looking amused. In reality, all he wanted to do want kiss her. But he wouldn't do it. Elena had made her intentions quite clear. Damon wasn't a masochist, despite all appearances; he wouldn't put himself through that level of rejection again. It was worse because she was single. It wasn't that she was remaining faithful to Stefan - she just didn't want _him._

"Yes, really," Damon replied to her challenge. He knew Elena was being feisty, dangerous. But Damon loved that; he loved her fire. He wanted to see where she was taking this. She put her glass down on the kitchen counter. Damon, having one of those feelings, did the same.

"If I'm a stubborn old mule, then you're practically decrepit. What are you now, two hundred?" she teased viciously.

"Hey, knock thirty years off that, thank you very much." Damon complained jokingly. "Besides, what are you now, twenty?"

"Nineteen!" Elena retorted far too quickly. Damon smiled.

"Touchy about age now, are we?" He mocked. "Don't worry, things don't start to go downhill until 21."

"You would know, would you?"

"I like to think so." The timer Elena had set for the pasta went off, and Damon's amusement deepened when she jumped at the sound.

"What is that?"

"That, my dear, means you need to get cooking again." Damon told her, pulling out the pasta. Elena groaned, before holding her hand out for the packet. He watched her put water in a pan, waiting for it to boil. She looked so stressed, and so attractive at the same time. But the night continued in its friendly innocence. They finished cooking, they ate, washed up, and Damon left just before seven. He didn't try anything. Because Elena had made her choice.

This was Damon making his.


	15. Ready for the Floor

_I owe you guys once more for all the lovely reviews. I apologise I took so long with this, and I apologise for the fact there's no D/E. Next couple of chapters will hopefully make up for it, I promise! Elena's being difficult right now, but she might make up for it all very soon. ;) As always, any thoughts you have are welcome, I read every review and really love hearing what you think. =D_

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Thursday nights became something of a routine for Elena after that point. Meredith was always out with one friend or another, so Damon always came over. They didn't necessarily stay in, though. One night, they went out to a little place that was as much of a hangout as the Mystic Grill had been for Elena. There was good food, good music and pool. Plus a bar for Damon. Sometimes, they went over there and just messed around. Other nights, Damon took her further afield - movies, bowling, even a late night shopping district. Just once, though. Damon wasn't a shopping kind of person. But it had been the end of November and Damon had announced with enough irony to sink a cruise liner that he wanted all his Christmas presents bought early this year. Elena had obliged - she needed to buy things even if Damon didn't. The night had even been successful - she'd bought something for everyone. Everyone apart from Damon, anyway. He was ridiculously hard to buy for.

However Elena couldn't help but feel...stranded. She was the one who had started the Thursday night tradition, the one who kept it going. She had a feeling Damon wouldn't even come if she didn't keep asking. She felt like he'd cut himself off from her. There were so many walls between them, and Elena knew when they'd started to build themselves up again. She could put it down to the very moment. The moment that she turned away from Damon when he'd tried to kiss her. The moment she'd said 'no'. The walls had been temporarily suspended whilst she was busy puking up her guts, but after that? Damon had taken their relationship more or less back to square one. Apart from the fact that she wasn't scared of Damon anymore. She still trusted him, and as far as she knew, he wasn't murdering anyone. But apart from those few scant facts, their relationship was all the way back to how it had started two years ago. Or at least, that was how Elena felt.

She was honestly scared she was losing Damon. She didn't want to lose him. But she just had this feeling he was only staying to protect her. Nothing more had turned up about the man who'd called her Katherine. But the silence had made her more anxious rather than less. She couldn't help but feel they were watching her. Waiting for the right time. These days, Elena was only ever out with Damon close by for the precise reason of her protection. And when she wasn't out, she was safe in her flat. There hadn't been an opportunity for an attack so far. Elena couldn't help but feel they were waiting for one. It was a worry, true. But Elena felt it was eclipsed by Damon. He was becoming the biggest worry in her life, and she really had no idea what to do about it.

In Elena's opinion, she was trying everything she could. She was with him every Thursday, trying to make up for her mistakes. She was perfectly friendly during classes. She wasn't doing anything wrong. She was trying. She was trying so hard to make up for everything she'd done wrong by him. But she could see it wasn't enough. In the month or so she'd been trying to do something, she hadn't seen evidence that she'd taken down a single barrier between them. Elena was afraid that she wouldn't be able to fix it. She was so worried that she just couldn't do it, that she didn't have the ability. That for once, this was something in Damon that she wouldn't be able to mend. But she'd spent over a month trying. There was nothing left to try, nothing left to do. Elena was spent. She was honestly looking forward to the holidays.

It was early December, and classes were due to stop in less than two weeks. Elena was looking forward to going back to Mystic Falls. She hadn't been back since she'd left in October with Damon. It was new for her - she'd been going back every second or third weekend ever since she'd gone to Duke. But she hadn't felt she'd needed to go back as much anymore. Jenna had phoned though, to check that Elena was coming home for the holidays. Elena had assured her that she wouldn't miss it for the world.

It was a Sunday night. Elena was sitting in the lounge, writing in her journal when Meredith came through. She had a piece of paper in her hand, which she abandoned on their coffee table before going to make a cup of tea. Meredith seemed preoccupied. Elena wondered what it was all about. Lifting her pen from the page, she leaned over, peering at the rectangle of stiff, thick, expensive card that lay on the table where Meredith had abandoned it. It was decorated in swirling, eloquent patterns that embellished the piece of paper to a level of inferred high class elegance. The writing on the paper was done with the equal amount of class. It was an invite to the History Department's Winter Ball. Elena peered over to Meredith.

"Worrying over what you're going to wear to the ball?" Elena asked, lightly teasing her friend. Meredith looked up from the kettle, peering at Elena. When she saw her holding up the invite, Meredith smiled.

"Something like that," Meredith admitted.

"Well, you look fabulous in anything, so I'm sure you'll be fine."

"It's not that easy," Meredith said, amused. She pulled a mug out of the cupboard. "Want a drink?"

"Please." Meredith nodded, lifting a second mug out of the cupboard. She started working away, making their drinks. "So why isn't it that simple?"

"The History Department always run this ball. It's fabulous, apparently, but it's typical. Everyone has to wear something 'historical'. You don't get away with walking into store and buy a dress off of the rack."

"So it's like a themed dance?" Elena asked, thinking of the decade dances Mystic High had done.

"Yeah." Meredith agreed, bringing the mugs over. Elena closed over her journal, laying it on the coffee table with Meredith's invite. "A lot of people go for proper history, though. Like Austen period England fashions, and 'southern belle' fashion here and it all gets so complicated."

"Couldn't you just go 80s and roll with it?" Elena suggested. Meredith laughed.

"I could, I suppose. I don't know, I kind of wanted to do something special," Meredith admitted. Elena glanced down at the invite. The party sounded amazing, and the planning...it was almost an old throwback to her carefree days planning fundraisers with Bonnie and Caroline. Before everything fell apart.

"It sounds like a lot of fun." Elena didn't realise how much longing there must have been in her voice, because Meredith smiled vaguely and looked at Elena curiously.

"Do you want to come too?" Meredith asked with a smile on her lips. It was the first time Elena had volunteered to go to a big party like this, if even indirectly. Elena smiled back.

"I'd love to, if that's okay," Elena said warmly. Meredith nodded.

"We get a plus one, and I don't exactly have a _guy_ to take." Elena smiled.

"I hope I make a worthy substitute." Elena was looking forward to this party already. "So I guess both of us need outfits now." Meredith laughed.

"Yes, we do. 80s throwback for you, is it?" Meredith teased. Elena grinned.

"No, I'm thinking something special too." This was a party; Elena wanted to make an effort. She almost reminded herself of old Elena. The Elena that was confident, self-assured and a cheerleader with the star football player as her boyfriend. The one who had loved parties and socialising and every normal thing about life. The Elena who still had parents. The Elena who didn't know or worry about anything supernatural. That Elena was long gone, and she knew that was the case. But her excitement reminded her of that girl, just a little. Damon had brought her back. The man was a miracle worker.

Elena sipped at her tea, nursing the mug Meredith had brought her. However, she frowned when a familiar taste passed her lips, filling her mouth and penetrating her body. It was so familiar, yet Elena didn't understand why Meredith had given her it. After all, it wasn't as if vervain tea was the most common tea in the box. Meredith noticed her frown.

"I know the tea is strange, but you get used to it," she encouraged. Elena looked up at her friend, wondering what she was missing.

"What is this? I don't think I've ever tried it before," Elena asked, trying her best innocent voice. It seemed to work.

"Oh, it's made from this plant called vervain. We were talking about it in class; it used to be really common in some areas, and people used it to make tea. You know, some people even believed it offered protection from dark and demonic powers, like witchcraft." The amused smile on Meredith's face made her think that she didn't believe a word of that fable. But Elena couldn't be sure anymore. She wanted to trust Meredith, but what was she supposed to do?

"Sounds interesting," Elena replied quietly. Meredith smiled.

"After we talked about it, I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I like it, protection from evil or not," Meredith told her. Elena sipped some more of the tea.

"It's different," She admitted, making it sound like she didn't like it. Elena could help but be hyper- aware of the bracelet at her wrist, laden with vervain. She supposed she should be happy Meredith was drinking vervain, but she felt uneasy about the reasons why. Elena figured she was just being overcautious, but there was just a feeling that she couldn't shake.

"So anyway, I know a rental place in town. We could go over next weekend, see what outfits they've got?" Meredith suggested. Elena nodded. She didn't know what else to do.

On the one hand, Meredith was drinking vervain, and dosing Elena with it too. That fact alone made Elena think that she knew something. But how? Elena hadn't been aware of any vampire-like activity in the area. Damon was being subtle; she knew he was. Maybe Meredith had only just discovered the reality of vampires and was being cautious. But if so, when and how? Or was Meredith a threat? Had she worked out that Damon was a vampire? Was Meredith some weird vampire hunter like Alaric had been when they'd first met? Did it mean that she was one false move away from losing Damon? Elena closed her eyes, trying to think. She couldn't lose him. She might be losing him emotionally as it was, but if Damon was _dead..._it would kill her. Elena knew she was being dramatic, and as much as she had once wanted Damon out of her life, and as much she'd been able to live without him from July until October, Elena Gilbert didn't think she could imagine a world without Damon Salvatore. It just didn't work. Damon had to be in it somewhere, drinking the days away. She felt empty inside as she imagined Damon with a stake through his heart. The pain, the hysteria, it was there. Elena could feel it, and she knew if she lost Damon, it would be like a volcano erupting. It would change her forever, and it wouldn't be for the better. She'd be like Pompeii - the real Elena would be buried under a large pile of ash and smouldering, scarred rock for a very, very long time.

She couldn't help but wonder what her hysteria over the very thought of losing Damon meant.

Instead of answering her own question, Elena brushed it aside and considered what to do. She certainly couldn't confront Meredith, because that would blow everything into the open. All her knowledge of vampires and werewolves and witches and her _life_ for the past two years. If Meredith was some secret psychotic hunter, Elena didn't want to do that. She didn't want to do anything until she was sure. Elena liked to have plans a, b and c in place before she made her move. After all, the vervain could be a coincidence. It _had_ been common in certain areas years and years ago. Maybe people had used it for tea. Maybe it was all just a weird bout of happenstance. It was unlikely given Elena's track record, but she liked to imagine. She liked to hope. She had to.

Out of all the options, there was one thing she couldn't do. Tell Damon. He'd torture Meredith for information before Elena could say 'Please, Damon, you don't have to do this'. Or he would just kill her in half the time. Damon always went for those routes, never considering the other path that didn't involve pain and death. Elena wanted to look at every option and get all the facts before she even thought about what her plan of action was. Because frankly, Meredith was still her friend. Elena still vaguely trusted her, and still liked the girl. She just felt like Meredith was keeping a secret. But what was to be done? Elena was keeping secrets too, after all. She had absolutely no right to talk.

In the end, Elena pretended that nothing had happened. She went through class the next week without a word to Damon on the matter. She hid Meredith's stock of vervain in an airtight jar to stop Damon finding it. Everything was fine. Well, there were still the problems of being mistaken for her doppelganger and Damon being an emotional country mile from her, but in relative terms, that wasn't bad for her life. Elena didn't mention a word to Meredith, apart from mentioning that the tea was rather an acquired taste. Elena already had the bracelet; she didn't need to start ingesting vervain too. Her concerns were relaxed slightly when Meredith stopped feeding her the tea. Maybe this was just one huge coincidence after all.

The costume rental store was something of an escape for Elena. Meredith and Elena headed over the following Saturday, just six days before the party. Six days before term ended for the holidays. If she could last these six days, she wouldn't need to think about what Meredith Sulez may or may not be until January. That was a plus point, and it was the hope Elena was clinging to. She liked Meredith; that was why it was so hard to consider her as a threat. The threat wasn't even to herself, but to Damon. And Elena cared about Damon. Despite the fact he seemed to want nothing to do with her right now, Elena would protect him. He put his life on her line for her so many times - no matter what he said, Elena still cared about him, would still try to pay him back. She owed him this. She'd been investigating Meredith's room carefully and methodically while she was alone in the flat. She was yet to find an arsenal behind a false panel in the wardrobe. It reassured her.

When they entered the rental store, Elena thought it looked poky and tacky. It sold the usual tat, and Elena didn't see that many costumes. She glanced sideways at Meredith, as if to ask if she was _sure_ this was the right place. Meredith just smiled and went up to the young woman at the counter.

"Hi, we're here about costume rentals - I phoned yesterday?" Meredith asked. The young woman smiled.

"Sure, just go through the back. Audrey will be happy to help," she replied, indicating a doorway covered by a bead curtain. Meredith nodded and headed through, closely followed by Elena. When Elena walked through, she thought that she'd never seen anything more stuffed full. There were rails and rails of plastic bags, containing what could only but hundreds of costumes. There were little labels on the racks, categorising all the outfits. There was a small counter in one corner of the room, to the side of which was a podium with three full length mirrors. There was also a couch and another open doorway, through which Elena assumed, was a changing room. She'd never seen anything like it in her life.

There was another woman behind the counter, kind looking, and maybe in her fifties. Elena could easily see her as a seamstress. The woman, who could only be Audrey, looked up when they came through. She smiled warmly.

"How can I help you ladies?" she asked.

"We're looking to rent costumes out for next Friday night," Meredith explained. Audrey nodded, getting to her feet.

"Well then, I think I can do that for you. What are you looking for?"

Audrey raked through the rails and began handing Meredith and Elena dresses. They went through hundreds of periods - old English royal courts and medieval styles, Italian Renaissance and more recent periods like the 20s, the 40s and the 80s. They tried on dozens of colours and styles until eventually, they had outfits. As Elena stood in her dress in front of the mirror, she knew this was the one. She knew this was it. She loved the dress so much, loved how it looked on her. Audrey, the shop assistant, dug through some shelves, before pulling a wooden lacquer box out.

"These normally go with the dress." She said it simply. Elena turned to Meredith.

"What do you think?" Meredith lifted the necklace from the box Audrey held, and walked over and fastened it around Elena's neck, before surveying her.

"It's perfect."

It was weird and extremely disconcerting for Elena. But as her and Meredith stood back in their own clothes, booking the dresses out for next Friday, Elena could only be disappointed that Damon would never see her in this dress.

How warped was that?


	16. Mr Brightside

_D/E as promised. You'll be glad to know we're starting to make progress. Thanks to kat for the review last chapter - I feel your frustration, but I like to keep things realistic. Anyway, on with the show, and don't be afraid to let me know what you think. :)_

* * *

On Friday night, Meredith and Elena walked in like princesses. The dance was held in the ballroom of one of the plush hotels in Durham. It was spectacularly done up, and the room really was impressive in itself. Tables were set up around the dance floor - small circles with six chairs at each. At the head of the room was a huge table set out with drinks and food, from which a small host of waiters collected items and delivered them. Some people just went and got themselves drinks. It room was already half full - people milling on the edge of the dance floor, some sitting at the tables. But as Meredith Sulez and Elena Gilbert walked in, every eye in the room was on _them._ Elena had forgotten what it felt like to be _that_ girl; the one that drew jealous stares and longing gazes by simply arriving. She loved the feeling and hated it all at the same time. She loved it because it reminded her of her old life, of what had once been normal for her. She hated it because that wasn't her life any more. She wasn't the shallow Queen Bee. She didn't want anyone to be jealous of her. And she didn't want any men to be lusting after her. Not tonight, anyway.

It was easy for Elena to accept _why_ they attracted glances, though. Meredith was beautiful. She wore a Victorian dress that made her look like she could have walked out of 1880s London. The skirt was full, with all the frilly smooth layers like it should have. There was a section of rumpled fabric over the main skirt, decorated with bows. The bodice was tight, showing off Meredith's figure without exposing her too much, while it left her throat and shoulders bare with one of those straight finishes that was almost an early predecessor to a strapless dress without being strapless. The top of the dress was trimmed with lace, and the whole thing was in this beautiful, fresh pastel green colour that sat perfectly next to Meredith's rich olive skin. Her dark hair was curled and piled up onto her head, her ponytail loosely sweeping over one shoulder. Elena had never seen Meredith's hair curled before; it looked beautiful. A white ribbon kept the style in place, whilst it was decorated with a flower. Her throat was adorned with gold jewellery - it hung in two strands, each one with looping semi circles of finer chain hanging beneath the main stem. From each strand hung a small white cameo, right in the middle of the line. A gold earring hung from Meredith's one visible ear, matching the necklace perfectly. And although the dress just brushed the ground, Elena knew that she wore beautiful green shoes that matched her dress. The effect was stunning - especially on Meredith, who was gorgeous anyway.

But what Elena didn't quite realise was that she drew gazes just as much as Meredith, if not more. Her own dress was a pale, frosty blue, with a square neckline that was fairly low-cut. The bodice was stiff and tight, decorated with pearls and embroidered with an eloquent pattern. It finished in a small v where it met the skirts which were long, large and flowing, although not nearly as voluminous as Meredith's. The skirt was also embroidered, hanging in pleats which smoothed out throughout the skirt as it reached the floor. The sleeves were long, loose and embroidered just as the rest of the dress was. The inside of them showed a darker blue that the rest of the dress, hanging like drapes from Elena's arms. The pearl decoration of the dress was offset by the pearl necklace at Elena's throat, that finished in one larger pearl and a few dangling strands of silver chain. A simple tiara also sat on Elena's head, pinning her long hair back from her face. The tiara was heavily decorated with pearls and glowing cuts of what appeared to be diamond. Elena was sure the jewels were fake, but she didn't care. The effect still stood. The whole outfit screamed of the English Tudor period, and Elena Gilbert looked like a queen.

After pausing for only a moment, the two women elegantly walked into the ballroom, chatting away happily. Meredith guided them to a free table, before they both sat down. Meredith sighed.

"I'm wondering if ostentatious was such a great idea," Meredith muttered, patting down her skirts. Elena laughed.

"Oh, we look good. It's worth it. Besides, you're not the one with a tiara sticking into her head," Elena countered. She had once been used to suffering for nights like this. But it was worth. It was _always_ worth it in the end. Elena had always felt it had boosted her confidence, made her feel happier at these kinds of things. And tonight was _her _night. She needed to be confident. She hadn't even mentioned the ball to Damon. Tonight was a girl's night. Elena was going to savour it.

"Very true," Meredith replied, smiling. It was at that point when they were approached by some of Meredith's friends, who were outfitted in what looked like a very Austen-period outfits. At least, it looked like he could have walked out of Pride and Prejudice for all Elena knew of the time. She wasn't the one in History class.

"Good evening ladies," the first dark haired man said smoothly. Elena smiled. She remembered him from the party - the one where she'd had to leave rather abruptly. Gareth. He'd been nice then. Sweet, with a good sense of humour. There was a sandy haired guy with him though, who Elena didn't recognise.

"Good evening boys. Enjoying yourselves?" Meredith asked with an exaggerated sense of decorum. Elena smiled.

"Oh, the party's hardly even begun," Gareth chided her. He turned to Elena. "It's nice to see you again, Elena. I assume our charming young Meredith escorted you in?"

"Yes, she did. And I'm very grateful, too," Elena replied, a smile on her face.

"Oh, this is Andrew. Another History buff," Gareth supplied, nodding to his companion.

"Pleasure to meet you, Elena," Andrew told her, holding out his hand. Elena took his, but rather than shaking hands, Andrew pulled his hand towards her, gently kissing her fingers. Elena smiled. She was rather taken with him, and she didn't even know why. But something was nagging her quietly. Something important about that gesture. "And I must say, you ladies look rather lovely this evening," Andrew continued, releasing Elena's hand. Both Elena and Meredith murmured their thanks.

"I'm impressed, Merry. Victorian era, is it?" Gareth prodded. Meredith smiled.

"Nicely deduced."

"As for you, Miss Elena. Tudor. You're looking very Anne Boleyn this evening." Gareth complimented her. Elena laughed.

"I'm not sure that's a good sign."

"She was quite the trend setter, until she lost her head," Andrew teased, sending a wink her way. Elena smiled. She really did like him.

"Never mind all this costume drama stuff, have you seen who Amanda turned up with?" Gareth asked, in a way that made it sound like a scandal. Elena furrowed her brow a little.

"Amanda as in your good friend Amanda? The one who would forget her head if she could?" Elena asked Meredith. Meredith nodded.

"Yes, that's her. I've not seen her at all today, Gareth, why?"

At that moment, eloquent, orchestral music filled the room and several couples got to their feet and took to the floor in sweeping waltzes and elegant foxtrots. Gareth peered over at the floor to his left, craning his neck to get a good look. However, as soon as he did, he grimaced, looking away.

"She's over there," Gareth indicated, as if the sight would speak for itself. Through the swirling couples, Elena could just make out Amanda, her sunny blonde hair sticking out through the couples. She wore a bright pink dress that made her stand out even more. Although she was pretty, that wasn't why Gareth had pointed her out. She was currently kissing a man with very dark hair in a pinstripe suit. He had on one of those hats that just made Elena think of a bad gangster movie. She turned away the second she saw them, because Amanda was practically sucking his face off. It was like the world was going to end in five seconds. It was the kind of moment when someone really ought to tell them to get a room. Meredith sighed, looking almost disappointed, whilst Andrew looked a little stunned.

"That'll do wonders for her reputation," Meredith murmured. "How long's she known the guy?"

"I don't know; maybe a week? Crashed into each other on campus. He's a pre-med." Elena frowned. She should know the guy. But there were too many guys in her class with dark hair to even begin guessing.

"What's his name? I should know him," Elena asked curiously. Gareth shrugged.

"God knows. She was too busy blabbing on about how charming he was and asking me if she looked okay." It was a mystery then. Elena sighed slightly. It wasn't like it was any of her business.

"She's a perfectly nice person, but it's not like you'd know it from that." Meredith really did sound disappointed. Elena looked up at her roommate.

"She'll be fine. She's just getting a little carried away, that's all," Elena tempered. If the guy was going to hurt Amanda, he probably would have done so by now, considering the way they were kissing.

"I know. So long as she doesn't get too carried away..." Meredith wondered. Elena could feel the mood falling already. She got to her feet, wanting to save the situation before it got too bad.

"I'm going to fetch a drink. Would any of you guys like one?" Elena asked. After three murmurs of assent, Elena headed towards the table she'd seen at the top of the room, weaving between the tables. She was glad she'd decided to wear flat shoes - the dress and tiara were hassling enough as it was. As Elena reached the table, she lifted some plastic champagne flutes from a tray, setting them down on a table. She lifted one of them and sniffed at the contents carefully. It didn't smell like alcohol - she couldn't see it being out like that, considering most of the guests were underage. Eventually, Elena sipped at the substance. Apple juice. Figures. Elena knew it was as good as she was getting right now, so she lifted two of the flutes before realising she needed a tray. She turned, reaching to lift one from the stack, but as she did, she found herself cut off by a dark figure. He'd just squished in there, interrupting her movements completely. Elena never had liked rudeness.

"Excuse me," Elena muttered darkly, reaching for a tray.

"Here, let me," he said at precisely the same time, lifting a silver tray and holding out for her. Elena frowned. She knew that voice. But it couldn't be...

Elena looked up from the hand offering her the tray, her eyes searching for the face. Her heart stopped when she found his eyes. No one else had blue eyes like Damon Salvatore's. No one.

"Damon! What are you _doing_ here?" Elena complained. But Damon wasn't listening to her. His eyes were sweeping over her blue dress, her tiara and her general costume. Elena was asserted into complete immobility by his eyes. Damn, what was it about those eyes? It wasn't compulsion - Elena still wore her silver vervain bracelet. So why was she so captivated by Damon? Eventually, a small smile curled the edge of Damon's lips. He bowed ever so slightly, taking her limp hand in his and pressing her fingers to his lips.

"Pleasure to meet you, your Highness," he said, with not even a hint of irony in his voice. Then it hit Elena like a ton of bricks. That was what had bothered her about Andrew's gesture; it was Damon's. He'd used it when they'd said goodbye after their first meeting, used it when he met Meredith. It was _his._ It had bothered her that Andrew had replicated it. Frankly, Damon did it better. It wasn't the same without him. "And I'm here because I was invited," Damon added. Elena was about to ask by who, but she finally noticed his outfit. Pinstripe suit. Black shirt and a narrow white tie. And the hat...

"_You're_ the mobster?" Elena said, something beginning to rear its head deep within her soul. She ignored it.

"Sorry?" Damon asked, clearly confused. "And it's not mobster, it's 1920s."

"With Amanda! You were...you..." Elena didn't have the words to describe it. Damon smirked.

"Yes, the lovely Amanda and I were sitting together. In fact, _she_ invited me. Meredith's one of her friends, isn't she?" Damon said nonchalantly, all former hints of adoration for her outfit gone. Elena was marginally disappointed. She had wanted Damon to see her in this dress. And he had; he'd effectively told her she looked like a princess. That had lit a fire in her heart, somehow. But now? Elena felt furious.

"Damon, you can't just go around compelling people into kissing you..."

"Who says I compelled her? Really Elena, some women are just _attracted _to me."

"What, through your charm and good looks?" Elena said sarcastically. She knew she was being nasty. But she just couldn't stop.

"_Yes_, actually. Just because you chose my brother over me doesn't mean the whole world does." Damon retorted.

"Forget that, what do you want with Amanda? She's not even your type! She's forgetful, and a ditz, and a klutz and she talks a _lot_ and its always vapid stuff about herself or clothes or some pathetic soap opera!"

"You think you know my type do you, Elena?" Damon made it sound like a threat. Elena didn't know where this tirade was coming from, but she was too fired up to care.

"Yes, I do."

"And what if I like her?"

"She's not what you need," Elena replied, diving in with two feet. Damon narrowed his eyes at her.

"And what do I _need,_ Elena, hm?" Damon asked her.

"You need someone who gets you, who wants to understand. You need someone you can be honest with, and someone who's brave enough to challenge who when you're being an idiot. She has to understand what goes on in your head, Damon Salvatore, or she'll just get left behind." Elena told him firmly. Damon placed the silver tray down on the table, looking at Elena strangely.

"Let me know when you find someone you approve of then. Because I should really clear my life through you first." And with that, Damon Salvatore walked away from her. Elena watched him stride back over to Amanda at their table, before he lent down to give her a long, deep kiss. Elena let out a sound of pure frustration, snatching the tray from the table. She held it for only a second before abandoning back onto the table and draining the nearest glass. She almost choked on the liquid, but the action made her feel better. She grabbed the pitcher, aiming to fill her glass once more. She could feel something roaring in her heart, baying for blood. Interestingly enough, however, it didn't want Damon's head. Not entirely. It wanted Amanda's too. She didn't know how many moments had passed since Damon had walked away. But she felt like it was only a second before Meredith spoke, like her conscience in her ear.

"Need some help?" she asked kindly. Elena looked up at her, and Meredith could see her eyes burning with a fire that was uniquely Elena's. Meredith smiled sadly, and walked over to stand by her friend.

"How much did you hear?" Elena asked, inhaling deeply, sipping at the drink this time. Meredith's smile turned into a knowing one, and Elena was surprised that all she could feel was the burning anger in her chest.

"I got enough," Meredith conceded. She hadn't been eavesdropping; it was that Damon and Elena weren't precisely quiet when they fought. There was a pause. "You're jealous of her," Meredith stated. Elena looked up in shock.

"Jealous of who?" Elena asked, genuinely confused.

"Amanda," Meredith said simply.

"Why would I be jealous of her?" Elena demanded, talking before she really thought.

"Because she's with him." Elena was silently glad that Meredith didn't say his name. She might have exploded if she'd said his name. Why would she be jealous of Amanda because she got to fawn over _him _all night? That was just ridiculous. She didn't want to suck anyone's face off in public, let alone _his._ He was an insensitive bastard and didn't deserve her lips on his.

At that thought, Elena mentally paused. Now that Meredith had said the word, she realised that it was what she was feeling. She wasn't just mad. She was jealous. So envious, in fact, that it was driving her insane. What was wrong with her? She shouldn't be jealous. But she recognised the feeling from her high school days, when some random sophomore had been fawning over Matt when he was meant to be _her_ boyfriend. She knew what jealously felt like. She just hadn't felt in years. She'd forgotten. And she'd never expected to be jealous over _him._ Why was she jealous over him? It wasn't like she...did she?

"If you'll forgive my boldness," Meredith murmured when Elena didn't respond. Elena's eyes flashed up. Elena looked like she'd just seen a ghost. "That girl you were describing? She sounds a lot like you to me."

No. That wasn't her. That was Rose. Rose understood how Damon's mind worked in a way Elena never had. Damon had ignored some issues with Rose, but he liked to think they had been honest with each other, without so many words. Rose had challenged him, told him when he was being stupid. Rose had understood. Rose would never get left behind. Of course, she was also dead, but that was beside the point.

But then again. Damon was always, always honest with her. He might not say everything, but when he spoke it was the truth. She trusted him because of it; they never dodged issues like her and Stefan had. If she faced anything with Damon at her side, they faced it head on. There were no lies. Not really. Not anymore. And she did push Damon. She pushed Damon because he _needed_ to be pushed. She could see the man inside the shell - she always had. She challenged him repeatedly, forced him into being better. If that wasn't the bravery required, nothing was. She'd known Damon for two years, almost. She liked to think she'd kept up. But that still left...

"I don't understand him," Elena murmured. Meredith looked at her.

"You understand him better than anyone else. Its close enough," Meredith said. Elena closed her eyes. She did understand some things. But others went right past her. She didn't understand why Damon had left. She didn't understand why he'd cut himself off from her. Unless...was it possible that he still loved her? Really, really _loved _her, like he'd used to? Elena had thought his love for her had died when he'd left her, all those months ago. Was it really possible that her rejection had sliced him deep, because she didn't want him? Because she wasn't being loyal to anyone - she was just saying no to him. Did he still hope for their future, and was her constant will to remain friends and nothing more tearing him apart? Now Elena really thought about it, she supposed that would break her. If she was in his shoes, it would kill her.

She'd been a fool. She was torturing Damon and she hadn't even noticed. She was Katherine. No, she was worse than Katherine. She didn't deserve him. She'd never make up for this.

Elena looked up, and Meredith saw the horror within her. Meredith knew she was right, but didn't utter a word on the matter. She just looked at the glasses, before asking Elena if she wanted some help. Elena had nodded, lifting two glasses, before following Meredith back to their table. Every time Elena caught a glimpse of Damon and Amanda (who were now dancing together) jealousy burned her heart. She was an idiot. She was paying for it now.

By the time they sat down, Elena had come to a decision. It was visible in her eyes. It was that look of determination that Elena got when she had a plan, and nothing would tear her from it. She'd only just set the glasses down on their when she spoke.

"I need a favour," she told the general group. All three sets of eyes were on her in an instant. She'd never looked more like a queen - high and regal with a determination and power to cause countries to fall at her feet. Meredith felt a little proud.

"What is it, Elena?"

"I need to dance with Damon Salvatore."


	17. El Tango de Elena

_Thanks for all your encouragement guys! It means so much - and trust me, I'm as happy as you are that Elena's stopped being such an idiot. ;) Sorry this one took a little longer than normal, but I laboured over it a little. It's longer than usual to make up for it though. As always, anything you want to let me know is very much appreciated. I wish I could give you all little personal presents as a thank you! Anyway, on with the show!_

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"Why don't you just ask him?" Gareth asked, clearly confused. The look of bemusement on Andrew's face was just as clear, and Elena had to stop herself from smiling. She loved how no one else understood. She didn't precisely know _why,_ but nonetheless, it gave her some pleasure to know that her relationship with Damon was still a mystery.

"And who is this Damon guy anyway?" Andrew added. Elena really did smile this time. Meredith, however, answered for her.

"Damon is Amanda's date," Meredith supplied. Elena watched the boys eyes go as round as coins.

"Him? Why do you want _him_?" Andrew spluttered. Elena was a little flattered, but she smiled softly.

"Damon and I have a...complicated relationship. I can't just ask him because he would say no or avoid the issue." Elena told them. Damon had been distancing himself from her for weeks - dancing with her would break all of that effort. There was no way Damon would go for it if he had another option. She'd have to force him from Amanda's side. She needed a dance. Elena still wasn't sure precisely _how_ she felt about Damon, but she knew one dance would solve a lot of her problems. She would know. She remembered the dance at the Miss Mystic Falls Pageant, and the one at the Masquerade Ball on the night of Damon's return. They had some kind of deep connection every time Damon took her in his arms and twirled her round. One dance and she would know for sure. It was all she needed. Just one dance. Just to make sure.

"So we need to corner him into it," Meredith summarised, lifting a glass from the table and sipping at the amber liquid. Elena smiled. Meredith had been such a friend. She understood what she needed. She'd opened her eyes tonight - she'd thank her somehow. How had Elena been so stupid? She'd spent so long telling herself that she wasn't right for Damon, yet every time she described the right girl, she'd been describing _herself_. It was like he was a magnet, and Elena just couldn't pull away.

"Exactly," Elena agreed. She peered over at Damon, and felt a spike of something as she saw he was _very_ occupied with Amanda. But it meant he was distracted, and their plans had less chance of being overheard. They would have to work quickly. Meredith nodded.

"I have an idea."

They planned briefly. Once Meredith had the agreement of Andrew and Gareth, there was nothing more to argue about. Admittedly, the plan wasn't foolproof. But it was as good as Elena was going to get, and she was increasingly grateful to the three of them. They could be about to help her solve a serious problem. For that, she'd be grateful.

With nothing more to do than to wait around for the opportune moment to enact their plan, the four of them went about enjoying the party. They danced twice - the first time Elena danced with Gareth, the second with Andrew. It was strange what jealousy and a twinge of 'maybe' could do to her. Gareth was good fun, a joker, and a reasonable dancer. But he was fun, not romantic. The dance made Elena laugh - it didn't spark any sort of passion that sort of dancing should do. As for Andrew... as Elena had thought earlier, he was sweet. Ridiculously, adorably sweet. He was kind and charming and filled Elena with hope. But again it lacked any kind of spark. There were no fireworks. The first time she'd danced with Damon, there had definitely been fireworks. Even in the middle of the dilemma of Stefan being blood-crazed and missing along with Amber, Elena had forgotten it all for sixty seconds. Even the silly dance they'd been given felt less trite, and more fitting. With Stefan it had felt ridiculous. With Damon, it was perfect. She'd felt a deep connection with Damon in that minute, a connection she was only now beginning to become aware of. If she couldn't get that level of connection with a guy in triple that time with a less silly dance, then there was really no point. She was beginning to doubt that she'd ever have a relationship with anyone else like she did with Damon. But she had to check. She had to be sure.

Apart from the dancing, they mainly sat around and had a good time. They chatted and joked and laughed and played some silly games. They were occasionally visited by some of Andrew, Meredith and Gareth's other friends. It was a social evening, and a far cry from the isolated young girl that Damon had discovered in late October. Elena was happy. She wasn't the shallow queen of high school, valued for silly things anymore, and she certainly didn't want to be that person again. But she did feel remarkably at home at the party. Soon enough all her fears and worries floated away as she unwound. The only thing on her mind was having a good time - that and Damon. Elena kept slipping glances at Damon. He was always with Amanda; sometimes they were dancing, sometimes they were talking at a table across the room, sometimes they were accompanied by some of Amanda's friends, and sometimes they were making out. Elena began to worry Damon wasn't just using Amanda. She asked Meredith if she was sure the plan would work. Meredith simply smiled and told her not to be so worried. Elena found it hard to be quite so confident.

Yet despite it all, Meredith's confidence came through. Elena decided she couldn't have found a better friend. Because at precisely 9:52pm, the opportune moment arrived.

Amanda rushed over to Meredith, who was standing behind Gareth, peering at his phone. She grabbed Meredith, turning her around and squishing her in her embrace. Meredith smiled politely, waiting for her friend to release her.

"Meredith, oh my god, where have you been?" Amanda gushed. Meredith laughed.

"I've been right here for most of the night," Meredith assured her kindly. Elena took the opportunity to glance over Amanda's dress. It was soft pastel pink, and it was long, lacy and frilly. She also wore elbow length gloves. Elena happily convinced herself that it looked vaguely ridiculous. She didn't know what Damon saw in her - she really wasn't his type. But then again, apparently Elena had spent all these months describing his type as _her._ So who was she to talk, really?

"I suppose I've been a little distracted," Amanda admitted, giggling and blushing slightly. She finally observed Andrew, Gareth and Elena. Elena smiled. Yes, definitely not Damon's type. "So have you all been having a good night?"

"Yes, thank you, Mandy," Gareth said sweetly. She groaned.

"You know I hate it when you call me that," Amanda complained. Gareth just grinned. Then came the moment. The one Elena might have been waiting for all night.

"Oh, this is Damon. Damon Salvatore," Amanda said, turning around. Damon was just approaching their table. Elena looked up, and she could have sworn she saw hesitancy in his eyes. But he acted like nothing had happened between them. It was almost like he was ignoring her. "He's a pre-med student. Maybe you know each other, Elena?"

"We've met," Damon said briefly, coming to stand by Amanda. Elena looked up, feeling something pang in her heart. She could see the coldness in his eyes, the emotional distance. He didn't want to admit how close they were. It was like he wanted to pretend the last two years had never happened. It hurt her, and scared her. But more to the point, was this what she did to Damon? Was this how he felt every time he looked in her eyes? Why couldn't she stop hurting him? What had she been doing?

Elena could feel five pairs of eyes on her, but she was only interested in one. Damon was all that mattered. As she stared into his blue eyes, she couldn't help but wonder if he really did love her. After all this time, after everything they'd been through, did he really love her? Was it really jealousy she'd felt for Amanda? Did she really, secretly see Damon as _more_ than a friend? And that was despite him being her ex-boyfriend's older brother, which made it so twisted you just couldn't make it up. There was only one way to find out. Meredith plunged into the plan without leaving Elena time to change her mind. Elena had a feeling Meredith wouldn't allow her to change her mind.

"So, I saw you two dancing earlier," Meredith said, her dark eyes flitting between Damon and Amanda. Amanda grinned.

"I know, I've been having a fabulous time. He's a really good dancer," Amanda told them, dropping her voice to a stage whisper on her last sentence. Damon tore his eyes from Elena, just as Amanda began to hug his arm. Meredith smiled.

"Think I could drag you away for a dance?" Gareth proposed. "If you're not too tired," he teased. Amanda's face split into a grin.

"I'd love to!" Amanda agreed as Gareth stood. "That is, if you don't mind," Amanda asked Damon carefully. Damon shrugged, making an effort to smile.

"Go ahead. I'll be fine," he reassured her. Elena felt worry creep into her bones and she shifted in her chair. She needed to dance with Damon, and she needed it soon. As Gareth and Amanda headed off, Andrew also quickly fulfilled his part of the plan. He stood up, walking over to where Meredith still stood, before taking her hand.

"I don't suppose you'd do me the honour, Miss Sulez?" he proposed politely. Meredith smiled sweetly.

"Of course. I'll see you later, Elena," Meredith said, as Andrew swept her out onto the floor. Which left her sitting at the table, Damon standing with near her. Elena looked over to Damon, whose eyes were glued to the dance floor like there was something unusual out there. Elena smiled slightly.

"Missing your date?" Elena asked weakly. Damon just shrugged. Elena sighed. This was a stupid plan. It wasn't going to work. Damon Salvatore did not respond to these subtle methods. He stood like that for a few moments more before turning to look at Elena. He seemed to look at her for the first time and really _see._ Damon had once told her the period look didn't suit her. He was wrong - the period look didn't suit her when she looked like Katherine. Elena looked nothing like the Katherine of 1864. And she had never been more beautiful.

"Would you like to dance, Elena?" he asked, finally looking back at her. Elena felt mildly surprised. She hadn't expected it to be that easy.

"Sorry?"

"Well, we are at a ball. And all your friends are dancing, so..." Damon trailed off. Elena smiled.

"Are you responding to peer pressure, Damon?" Elena teased. Damon looked genuinely surprised at her levity.

"No. I'm asking the most beautiful girl in the room for a dance." Elena got to her feet, sweeping her skirts up with her. It crossed her mind that Damon shouldn't be saying that to anyone other than his date.

"I would love to dance with you, Damon," Elena admitted. It broke her heart when she saw the surprise and almost confusion on Damon's face. Like he didn't expect her to agree - like he didn't expect her to say she would 'love' to. She had so much damage to make up for. To start with, Elena just held out her hand, waiting for Damon to take her onto the dance floor and sweep her off her feet.

In a single movement, Damon took her hand and did just that.

As they approached the floor, the clock struck ten. The DJ (wherever he'd been hiding all night) came out. They'd been playing traditional, classic orchestral songs all night. Apparently things were about to change.

"I think it's about time to pick things up. So guys, find your girl and show her what you've got," the DJ encouraged slyly. Elena barely even heard him. She just heard the music. It was modern, but passionate. Fiery, fierce, untamed. It was the kind of song that demanded some sort of tango or something equally ferocious. It was perfect. Elena could feel the whole mood of the room change as Damon took her into hold. He wrapped one arm around her back and kept a grip on her hand. Elena snaked an arm around the back of Damon's neck, falling into something of an argentine tango hold. Elena had taken dance classes. She knew how to do some of these things.

She turned her head, half resting it against Damon's collarbone, and followed his lead. The steps were small, brief, sharp and perfectly in time with the music. They spun round and moved elegantly. Elena could feel the music vibrating through her, but more to the fact, she could feel her heartstrings tighten. It felt like someone was running an electric current through her from the points where Damon touched her. This was amazing. Elena looked up at Damon, and found his crystal blue eyes looking down at her. She didn't speak. The dancing spoke for her.

As the chorus struck, Damon changed the dance slightly, changing the steps to suit the music. Elena followed instantly. As the music climaxed, Damon spun her under his arm and she twirled elegantly before tucking herself back into his body. They were so close, Elena could feel his breath rising and falling in his chest. Elena looked at Damon, meeting his gaze head on. Elena couldn't read his expression. But it seemed to be burning - with what, Elena didn't know. But from the way her heart throbbed and the way she felt with Damon's arms wrapped around her, Elena knew the truth.

She wasn't sure how she'd managed to ignore it for so long.

She cared about Damon. He wasn't just a good friend. Gareth and Andrew were friends. You didn't feel like this when you were _just_ dancing with a friend. Hell, she'd danced with Stefan so many times when they had been together. Elena couldn't remember ever feeling like this when she was with Stefan. This was incredible. And it was exactly what she had needed, because it confirmed _everything_.

"Who knew Elena Gilbert was an expert dancer?" Damon murmured, his voice thrumming in his chest. Elena could feel it through their contact, instead of just hearing it. Elena smiled slightly.

"I took a few classes in my day," Elena murmured in reply. "Ex-cheerleader remember?"

"Ah, yes. But this doesn't fall into the pom-pom category."

"No, it doesn't." Elena agreed. She just held Damon's eyes, watching him. She didn't say anything else. There was nothing to say. The moment was just too perfect. They danced on for a while, and Elena just let the music float around her. As the song peaked again, Elena started to flourish, pulling out those dramatic moves she hadn't used in years. She was almost regretting her dress - the skirt was so long and full it was almost in the way of some of the things she wanted to do. They finished the song with Damon twisting her under his arm, clutching her to his chest with her back practically flush with the planes of his torso. As the last dramatic note of the song sounded, Elena laughed slightly.

"What?" Damon asked, clearly curious.

"Oh, it's just so messed up. You in a mobster suit, me in this big Tudor dress dancing an Argentine Tango to a James Bond song," Elena explained, turning around to face Damon. He was smirking. Elena tipped his hat backwards so she could see his face more clearly.

"You are the epitome of messed up, Elena. And that's a Bond song?" Damon asked. Elena took his first point, but she laughed slightly at his question.

"What, you never watched a James Bond movie?"

"Sure. Doesn't mean I know all the music, Miss Bond-Girl." Damon teased, playing with a loose strand of her hair. Elena smiled, before inhaling deeply.

"Damon, I..." Elena would have said it then. She was so close to beginning to admit so many things to Damon Salvatore. Things that would have been impossible to even think two months ago, let alone two years ago. But she was cut off.

Elena could honestly admit she had never hated Amanda Scott more.

"Damon! Hey, I saw -," Amanda stopped immediately as she took in Damon and Elena. They still had their arms around each other from the dance. "Oh. Sorry, I thought you guys were done. I can go snag Andrew for another dance?" she suggested. Every part of Elena screamed yes, yes, a thousand times yes! But Damon was already untangling himself from Elena, and Elena reluctantly let go.

"No, it's fine. We have all night after all," Elena said lightly, but she could hear the strain in her own voice. She was going to snap. She was literally going to break if she stood there and watched Amanda wrap her arms around Damon and snog him. Because she was - in a way - incredibly jealous of her for that. Elena could see that now. And she couldn't take it. "I'll see you guys later," Elena murmured, sweeping off of the floor. She could feel Damon's eyes burning holes into her back as she walked away. She also caught Meredith's curious glance. But Elena just kept walking until she found a passing waiter. She scooped a glass off it and swallowed half the contents. She took some pleasure in the fact it was alcohol.

Breathing in deeply, Elena bit back tears. She'd been so close to saying so much to Damon. It might have ended all his pain; it could have changed so much between them. But _Amanda_ had to interrupt and ruin it all. But at least she knew, now. She had time to tell Damon... Then it hit her. It was the Holiday season. She'd be going back to Virginia tomorrow. As far as she knew, Damon had no plans to return with her. Elena felt a bubble of hysteria building, as she fought to keep a straight face. She couldn't wait that long to tell Damon. Either she had to tell him tonight, or she had to drag him back to Virginia with her. But that tango had been the perfect moment. It had been so intimate, and they'd been so easy with one another...it had been so perfect. And _she_ had ruined it all. Elena glanced back over to them. She nearly broke down when she saw them dancing together. The music was now more modern, but still, they were wrapped together. Elena's only comfort was that Damon was still watching her. Elena smiled weakly at him, but Damon didn't even acknowledge her. What a mess she was in.

The mess only got worse when Elena heard a smooth, seductive voice in her ear.

"Hello, Katherine."

Elena was immediately faced with two choices. Either she could admit the truth, and say she wasn't Katherine. However, that could potentially get her killed. A crowd wouldn't protect her. Elena could still remember what had happened to Aimee Bradley. A crowd hadn't stopped Katherine. The second option was more dangerous, but perhaps more sensible. She could pretend. She could pretend to be Katherine. Katherine had pretended to be her so many times, why couldn't she do the same? It was easy. You just had to act like you were better than everyone around you, and like you were playing a game. How hard could it be? Elena took option two without thinking. She drew herself upright and looked disdainfully at the man at her side, erasing all traces of hysteria from her face.

"Sorry, I can't seem to remember who you are right now," Elena said artfully, a small smile playing across her lips. It was the man from the party, the one who'd thought she was Katherine before. He hadn't given up. Elena had never expected him to. He'd just been waiting for the right moment. He looked vaguely angry at her.

"You know damn well who I am, _bitch."_ Doing her best Katherine face, Elena just smirked.

"Refresh my memory," Elena said seductively, brushing past him and beginning to walk around the edge of the dance floor. She let her eyes float through the dancing couples, and could see Damon watching her. His eyes were wide. Elena was in doubt he was listening. He knew what she was doing. Elena caught a glimpse of Meredith, who looked suspicious. Elena looked away from them both after a moment, letting her eyes wander. The man was still following her. He seemed to consider denying her for a moment, but then he changed his mind.

"You took me for a ride, remember, Kat? You promised us we'd be able to walk in the sun if we'd told you what you wanted to know." Elena looked sideways at him.

"Well, you clearly found some way to do it." Elena told him. He looked puzzled for a moment. "I saw you at the cafe."

"You had Salvatore with you." Elena felt a shiver rip through her heart. The way he said the name with disgust...it worried Elena. But she couldn't show it.

"That is none of your business," Elena instructed him.

"I thought you dropped him."

"I dropped him nearly a hundred and fifty years ago. Doesn't mean I can't have some fun," Elena said, smirking. She hated saying these things. She wasn't using Damon, she never would. She hated the fact that Katherine had used Damon like that. But if she was pretending to be Katherine, she _had_ to say these things. The man opened his mouth, but Elena turned on her heel, trying to be threatening. "I'm bored of this conversation. So tell me what you want or get out." He looked vaguely surprised.

"Payback."

"Ouch." Elena said, a smile gracing her lips. The man's eyes burned.

"Don't play with me, Katherine. You might be able to brush me off, but you know Jared won't give up so easily." Elena shrugged, sipping at the alcohol.

"I'm not concerned." Elena said nonchalantly. The man narrowed his eyes at her.

"Why don't we take this somewhere more private?"

"Why not?" Elena strode out, leading the way, casting a furtive glance at Damon. She didn't want to go, but Katherine would never back down from a fight. If he knew she wasn't Katherine, she was dead. So she had to play along with it. Damon looked like he was either about to drop to the floor or run over and pin her to a wall. It was hard to decide which. He'd left Amanda and was weaving through the crowd in a second. Elena slipped out of the party quickly. She headed for the function suite next to theirs. A sign hung on the door. 'Under refurbishment'. Perfect.

Elena opened that door and walked into the centre of the room. It was littered with cans of paint and - luckily enough - a stack of wooden panels. They'd been redoing the laminate flooring. Laminate was still wood, which mean Elena was feeling better defended already. Elena went to stand by the stack as she heard the door close. The man was before her in an instant.

"What do you want?" Elena demanded.

"Payback. Justice."

"You clearly got what you wanted. I don't see what I have to do with this anymore."

"You should have kept your word, Katherine."

Then, before Elena could react, he had her by the throat and pinned her to a wall. Elena knew Katherine wouldn't have reacted, but the pain that lanced through her head and back from the impact was too much. She gasped, choking for breath. She watched the man's brow furrow before realisation dawned on his face. Her heartbeat would be so much more distinguishable in here, alone.

"You're human. You're not Katherine." He said it simply, if a little surprised. "Forget this ever happened." Elena could see the compulsion in his eyes. But she couldn't pretend to be affected. It was impossible while she was half-choking against a wall. The man's eyes narrowed. "Fine. I guess I'll just have to kill you."

Elena's only thought was of Damon. Damon filled her mind, as she knew it would only take a fraction of a second for this man to end it and snap her neck. End her. She let her mind fill with Damon, who she shared such a deep connection with. Damon, who she had finally realised she _loved_, who looked after her even though it killed him, who stuck by her and had repaired her when she was broken. Who'd given so much for _her._ _'Damon, l love you,'_ Elena thought desperately, as if he'd be able to hear it. It was the first time she'd admitted it to herself. But she did. She really, truly loved him.

And he'd never know. Elena felt her heart shatter in her chest.

"Get your hands off of her."


	18. Bloodstream

_More thanks once again to you guys. I loved all your reviews last chapter, and not only do I have over 100 reviews, I have 100 alerts on this story now. It amazes me to think so many people really want to know how this story ends, so I really want to thank you guys for being interested. It means so much to me. :) I apologise for the mean cliffhanger, but these chapters are verging on epic. I'm trying to keep it cut down a little bit. However, hopefully this should satisfy some of the cravings for D/E action. As always, any comments you have are loved, so don't be afraid to tell me! _

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"Get your hands off of her."

His voice rang out through the air, a ball of fury and frustration splitting the night. Elena first thought it was simply her imagining things in a wild moment of hope, but when she opened her eyes she saw him. Standing in the doorway, looking like a demon. Demon he may be in some ways, but he was _her_ demon. Elena had never been more relieved. The grip on her throat slackened slightly and Elena drew in a breath whilst she still could. However, his hand was still most definitely on her throat. Damon rolled in like thunder, closing the door behind him.

"I said, get your hands off of her," Damon repeated, barely leashed anger ripping through his body. Elena looked at him, trying to plead with her eyes for him to be careful. She'd rather die herself than see Damon killed saving her. Even seeing him injured trying to save her was hell. Elena knew that this was _Damon_ she was talking about - reckless, impulsive, unpredictable Damon. But a girl could hope. What she had presumed would be her last thought rushed back through her head. _'Damon, I love you.'_ For a moment, she thought it was just heat of the moment stuff - a desperate plea of a dying girl. But if it was, why did her heart malfunction when she thought of Damon being reckless for her?

"Fine." The word echoed from the man holding her hostage. Now Damon was in the room, she clearly wasn't the priority. He tossed her aside like trash. Elena hit the floor with a thud, smacking the side of her head off of the wooden floor, her tiara coming loose from her hair. Elena groaned slightly, trying to push her face off of the ground. She never saw the millisecond of pain and fury that flashed across Damon's face when he saw her injured. It was just a moment, though. Damon wanted nothing more than to rip his opponent's heart out.

"Who are you?" Damon demanded. The other man smirked.

"It's not really important, Salvatore." Damon rushed at him, and as Elena finally got herself off of the floor, looking up, she saw Damon had _him_ pinned to a wall now. The man didn't even seem bothered by it.

"Well, you seem to know me, so why not return the favour?" Damon suggested, his voice laced with poison. Elena ripped the tiara from her head, watching Damon intently as her head spun.

"It's not a favour."

"And I wasn't asking." Damon informed him. "There at least six ways for me to kill you right now. Don't think for a _second_ I won't choose the slow-and-painful option." The man still didn't speak. "What would you prefer? Burning to death? Inventive use of wood? It'll be the last choice you make."

"Michael. My name is Michael," he choked out past Damon's hands. Elena's legs weren't working properly - they were sore and she was struggling to stand without the world tipping like a boat. She didn't like Damon threatening people. But she also wasn't sure that she wanted to stop him in this instance.

"Good boy, Mikey. Now, what do you want with Katherine?" Damon demanded, his voice running even sweeter. Michael just glared.

"The bitch has to pay," he spat out.

"Old news," Damon told him. "More to the fact, what do you want with Elena?"

"Elena?" The shameless part was that Michael looked honestly confused. Damon lifted a hand from Michael's throat to point at Elena, who was now sitting limply against a wall on the opposite side of the room.

"Ele-"

"Damon!" It was the only thing she could do to warn him. She saw Michael's face shift, the veins around his eyes protruding, fangs exposed. He twisted Damon's arm and forced him to the floor. Elena's shout gave Damon enough time to fight back. He flipped so he was no longer under the other vampire, but it didn't do much. Michael had a stake up his sleeve. It was in Damon's gut before he could even move. Elena tried not to cry out, but she could feel the tears spark in her eyes. Damon. He had to be okay. He had to live. She wouldn't let him die for her.

It looked like he wouldn't need to, as Michael flashed over to her, dragging her up to her feet. Elena whimpered slightly, shying away from him. He wrapped an arm around Elena's shoulders, before allowing the fingers of his free hand to trace along the column of her throat, right where her pulse ran at its strongest. Damon yanked the stake out before looking over. Elena's glistening eyes met Damon's. He knew in that moment that he had to save her. If she died, it would tear him apart. In that moment, she knew that she loved him. Because if dying saved Damon - it was worth it. If that wasn't love, what was?

"I'm sure she tastes gorgeous, aren't you?" Michael murmured seductively. A shiver crawled up Elena's spine. "Why don't I take a bite and see?" Then he lunged for her throat. Elena felt his teeth scrape past, but suddenly, he was gone. When Elena managed to open her eyes again, she saw Damon pinning Michael to the floor. Michael had a piece of laminate flooring stuck in his leg, as Damon positioned the stake over his chest.

"Start talking, and I promise to end it fast," Damon purred. Michael choked out a wheezy laugh.

"That's not much of a motivation." Damon dug the stake into his throat ever so slightly. Michael cried out in pain.

"I think you'll find it is." Damon suggested. "Elena."

"I'm not telling you a damn thing."

"Oh well," Damon shrugged, not even a hint of disappointment in his voice. He drew the stake back to plunge it into Michael again. And then Michael knocked him sideways. Elena was frozen to the spot in horror, but a small sound escaped her lips when Michael took the laminate from his leg, snapped it and shoved it into Damon's chest, splinters and all. Michael wrenched the stake from Damon's grasp. Elena swallowed. He was going to kill Damon. She couldn't let him. She came back to life, her eyes searching for a nearby piece of wood. Something, _anything._ When Elena noticed a wooden handled paintbrush nearby, she sprang at it in desperation. But she could hear the scene playing out. She wasn't going to be fast enough.

"Before I kill you, you should know. Elena and I are going to have _great_ fun together."

Elena laid her hand on the paintbrush, desperate to make it there in time, to save Damon. But the moment she looked up, she heard a cry of pain. At first, she thought it was Damon, dying. But it was Michael. Elena momentarily paused when she saw the scene. Meredith stood there in her green dress, not a hair out of place. She'd shoved a piece of wood through his chest. She'd missed the heart, but it was enough to distract Michael. But Damon had splinters in his gut - he wasn't strong enough to fight back like he normally would have. Then again, neither was Michael.

Occupied with Meredith, he turned. Fangs exposed, he growled, before knocking Meredith aside, yanking the wooden stick from his chest. He looked down at Damon on the floor, struggling to get to his feet.

"This ends now, Salvatore."

Elena was running. She was human. Michael ignored her because of that - because he assumed she'd be heading to Meredith. She wasn't. She was heading up behind him. Michael was just stupid enough to make the same mistake twice. He didn't even get a chance to try and kill Damon. Elena had the paintbrush handle through his back, and into his heart as soon as she could. He fell down in a suspended motion. He was dead before he hit the floor.

Elena stood there, her hands shaking. She'd just killed a vampire. She couldn't really process it. She thought she'd been free of this life. But since when had that been true? Ignoring that part of the puzzle, she sank to the floor beside Damon, anxiously stroking his hair back from his face. Damon was sitting up now, his weight resting on his hands which were placed just behind him on the floor. Elena's brown eyes met Damon's blue, and she knew she'd never felt more relieved in her life. Damon was alive. He was safe. With her.

Elena had almost forgotten Meredith, until she shakily approached Elena and Damon who were sitting on the floor. Damon was too fixated on Elena to comment. Elena had her arms wrapped around the back of his shoulders, trying to support him. Meredith took one look at them before making her decision.

"I'll go make sure we weren't missed. That no one heard," Meredith said, her voice surprisingly steady. Elena just bobbed her head up and down in agreement.

"Thank you, Meredith." Elena said, trying to make it clear she wasn't just grateful for her leaving. Meredith nodded once. "We need to talk," Elena murmured. Meredith smiled weakly.

"I know. I'll be back soon. I'll lock the door, just in case." Meredith advised Elena, before slipping quietly towards the door. Elena looked at her flatmate, and wondered how long she'd been involved with vampires. She was having trouble fitting Meredith into the world of the supernatural. As the door clicked shut behind Meredith, Elena snapped back to the more pressing issue. Damon.

He was weak. Elena could see it. He struggling to sit up frankly - all his bounce backs from being staked had been heat of the moment. But now? It was showing. Elena shifted her body so she was able get a better look at him. What she saw wasn't encouraging.

"How're you doing?" Elena asked quietly. It was a testament to Damon that he had it in him to smirk weakly at that.

"How do you think Elena?" Elena looked down at the bloodstains around his gut. So not great was the answer. Without speaking, Elena began to unbutton Damon's ruined jacked, slipping it off of his shoulders. Damon cocked an eyebrow at her, and as a compliment to his omnipresent humour, managed to make a remark.

"You know Elena, if you wanted me to strip, all you had to do was ask."

Elena looked up at his suggestive expression for only a moment before rolling her eyes slightly. She yanked Damon's shirt away from his abdomen, in a way that made it clear she wasn't trying to be kinky about this.

"I wanted a better look at this," Elena murmured, observing Damon's bleeding stomach. The wound where he'd been staked seemed to have vanished, but the injury from the laminate was still there - the splinters were still stuck in Damon's body.

"Mhm, Nurse Elena," Damon murmured to her in the same suggestive, seductive tone. Elena ignored him, examining the extent of the damage to Damon's body. It was gruesome, but Elena swallowed her hesitance and gingerly pulled a splinter out. Damon hissed in pain.

"Don't be such a baby," Elena muttered in reply. Damon gave her a dark look. Elena just ripped out another splinter, making him wince slightly once more.

All in all, there were about 20 splinters. Luckily, most of them were relatively large and easy enough for Elena to fish out. After a time, she forgot that she was working on Damon, that she was even working on a person. It was just some object she had to remove bits of wood from. She wondered if this was what being a nurse would be like. If so, she wasn't sure that she liked it. She hated the way she dehumanised her patients. She had never dreamed of being in the medical profession. She had wanted to be a writer. But that dream had felt like it died with her mother, so this was the best way she could help people. She'd seen enough guts and gore over the past two years to cure any thoughts of squeamishness, and she really felt like she'd be making a difference. Besides, writers rarely made enough to survive on. They needed normal, 9 to 5 day jobs. Nursing seemed good. But if this was what it was like...had she really made the right choice? Or had this been a misguided decision made at the peak of her depression?

Elena pondered it until every last piece of wood was out of Damon's body. Then she looked up at Damon, who was just staring at her. He looked a little bit weak, a little paler than usual, and his wounds had been healing slowly by his standards. She quickly analysed his physical state, and knew that if another vampire turned up, he wouldn't be able to handle it. Elena needed him to handle it - she wouldn't allow him to die. Who knew if Michael (whose body Elena was deliberately ignoring, even although it was only a few feet away) had come to the party alone? Elena found it vaguely curious that when she reached her conclusion, she didn't really feel afraid. Just safe in the knowledge that she'd be helping Damon.

Damon watched Elena curiously as she rolled up one of her pale blue sleeves, before shifting closer to Damon once more. Then she just held out her wrist. Damon looked at her like she was crazy. Then he understood what she wanted. The intent in her eyes was unmistakeable.

"Elena, what are you _doing?" _Damon asked her. Elena met his eyes steadily. She knew what she was doing.

"I'm offering you my blood."

"Exactly. What are you doing?"

"You need to get better," Elena explained softly. "And it's not like there are any other donors around."

"This isn't donating to the blood bank, Elena."

"No, but you raid those anyway, so what difference does it make?" Elena pointed out. Damon almost looked resigned. Personally, Elena couldn't believe he was even considering saying no. Surely, he'd wanted to try her blood for a long time. Surely, some part of him - the _vampire_ part of him - had been screaming for this moment for a very, very long time.

"I don't want to hurt you." Damon admitted, so softly Elena might have missed it. But she didn't. Her heart skipped a beat when he said it. That was why he was denying her. For _her_ sake. He clearly felt something for her. How had she overlooked it for so long? She knew he was only saying these things because he was weak, vulnerable and really not up for expending energy on fending her off with excuses. But she savoured his honesty. It didn't turn up very often. "I can just go find someone else at the party..." Damon trailed off.

"No," Elena said sharply. She didn't want him drawing attention to himself. Besides, she wouldn't let him use someone like that. And yet, here she was, offering herself up like a blood bag. How ironic.

"I need you Damon." Elena pleaded slightly, placing a hand on his arm and capturing his blue eyes as he looked up at her once more. "What if there are more vampires?"

That seemed to tip it for Damon. He needed to be able to protect her.

Damon moved his hand to trace her exposed wrist lightly, following the veins in her wrist. The sensation sent shivers up her spine, which she tried to ignore. She shifted slightly.

"Don't struggle. It'll only make it hurt more," Damon instructed her quietly, his eyes still fixed on her wrist. Her fingers were stained scarlet with his blood. But blood was blood and Elena knew the colouring would only make things more attractive to the beast inside Damon that she wanted to set loose. She might as well tell him to take everything she had. But it wasn't like she'd miss a pint of blood off the top, right? She was entranced in the moment. There was no going back.

It was Damon who shifted closer to her as she drew her wrist up to his mouth. She could almost feel the moment when his face shifted into a mask of bloodlust and desire, but she never saw it. He was too fast. The pain hit her wrist like a tornado. Elena's first instinct was to struggle, to run and get free from this monster. But then she reminded herself of Damon's warning and it brushed through her mind, calming her. The look on his face as he'd admitted he didn't want to hurt her haunted her memories. She didn't want to struggle any more. Besides, Damon's grip was like iron. She wouldn't have been able to escape, even if she wanted to. Once the fear left her body, she found that it wasn't actually so bad. It was almost thrilling, feeling her blood leave her veins and enter Damon's body, sustaining him, keeping him alive. It was almost sensual, this feeling of giving Damon what he needed. She didn't even think of struggling then. She didn't want to. She had to stop herself shuddering in delight at the feeling of Damon drawing her blood out of her body.

It was only when she felt herself get a little lightheaded that she realised there might be a problem. If Damon took too much, she was dead. If he took too much, then she wouldn't be able to walk or see straight or _think_ straight. He had to stop. Soon. Surely he'd had enough now? Elena hoped so, because she decided she couldn't afford to lose anymore. Fighting through the haze of pleasure and delirium in her body from sharing her blood, she managed to speak, for her own sake.

"Damon, stop," she murmured. He didn't seem to hear her. With what seemed like the effort of lifting the world, she placed her free hand on Damon's shoulder. "Damon," Elena repeated. That woke him up. He drew back from her wrist in a flash, and his eyes were locked on hers faster than Elena could think. He still held her wrist, and his lips were stained red with her blood. His eyes were bloodshot, and Elena was sure his fangs were hiding somewhere beneath his lips. The odd thing was that she didn't find it disgusting. Just kind of satisfying. The bloodlust remained for only a moment, until the redness faded as he examined her. Elena inhaled deeply, trying to steady herself.

"I took too much, did I?" Damon guessed. He almost looked disappointed. But not with her - with himself. Elena could tell. Elena shook her head, even though it made the world spin.

"It's fine. You needed it." Elena murmured. Damon looked much better now. Better than fine. Apart from the bloody holes in his shirt, you would never know anything was wrong. Elena was glad. It made her choice worth it. She liked the fact that she'd healed him. She almost felt like a part of him, now her blood ran in his veins. Everything was fine now. It would be fine. Only when Elena shifted to try and stand up, she fell straight back down again.

Damon was there to catch her. He lowered her gently to the ground, and held her in his arms. Elena put a hand to her head, not caring about Damon's embrace. She didn't speak, but eventually opened her eyes. Damon's blue eyes were full of self-loathing and pity. Elena hated it. She wished he would be so hard on himself - it wasn't that he wasn't good enough, it was that he'd just had a really shitty deal in life. He was more than good enough. He deserved the world. But thanks to the actions of other people, he couldn't see it. Even she was responsible. Damon deserved the world, and Elena wanted to help him see that. She wanted him to see that she didn't care that she was dizzy from her blood donation. But she was too disorientated to try.

Elena vaguely supposed that she shouldn't really have been surprised when Damon raised his own wrist to his lips, teeth ripping through his own skin. But she was. Elena shook her head, but stopped when she found it just made her feel nauseous. "No, Damon. That's not the point," Elena murmured.

"Isn't it?" Damon asked her.

"No. I wanted you to get better. I knew the risk." She explained it dizzily. She knew it didn't help her case.

"Elena," Damon said softly, brushing a lock of hair back from her face. Elena vaguely thought that she loved how he said her name. "You needed me to get better. Well, I need you to get better." Elena hated how he did that. But for him, she knew now that she'd do anything. She'd move mountains and swim oceans from him, if he wanted her to. If it would help him. He'd said precisely the right words to make her do it. And in some weird, twisted way, Elena really wanted to know what Damon's blood tasted like. She'd had a bit of Stefan's before, in moments of desparation. But it was impossible to deny that they were polar opposites. She wondered if their blood was too.

Weakly, Elena nodded once, and breathed out a quick 'okay'.

Damon moved swiftly, lowering his still-bleeding wrist to her lips. The copper-salt tang hit Elena's mouth first, but there was something else just under it. It was exotic, mysterious. Like the promise of another shining, glistening world. It was a siren call of danger and adventure and the time of your life. Elena was not a fan of blood, and she was no vampire. But in the weirdest, strangest way, Damon's blood left her wanting more. She wanted it to last forever. She wanted to experience this new life the blood promised her and she knew the only way to do that was to take more. It was a like a drug, and Elena was unable to deny it. But Damon intervened for her.

He pulled his wrist back after what felt like only a second. Elena was tempted to protest, but then she caught herself. What was she thinking? What was wrong with her?

"Better?" Damon asked, clearly concerned. Elena nodded, trying to give back some personal space to Damon. But she didn't really move so far. She noticed her wrist was healed, as was her dizziness and any soreness in her body from the assault. Eventually, Elena nodded.

"Yes, thank you," Elena murmured. She felt awkward. She was in love with Damon. She hadn't told him. Yet sharing blood with him was probably the most intimate, romantic thing she could do with anyone. Especially in these circumstances. This wasn't done out of lust or panic. This was medicinal. Not strictly necessary, yet not frivolous. That feeling of sustaining someone like that was one of the deepest Elena had ever felt. She'd had that experience, and she hadn't even admitted her feelings, which she was now positive were true. No one felt like that without being in love. Hell, she hadn't ever felt like that with Stefan. They'd never exchanged blood like that, but the point still remained. Elena closed her eyes, wondering for a moment what it would have been like if Damon had drawn blood from her _throat. _She dismissed in it a rush, looking for her tiara in order to give herself a distraction. She spotted it in the corner of the room and got to her feet to go and fetch it. Damon, however saw her intention and was there and back faster than she could take a step. He held the tiara out.

"For you, mi'lady" Damon said with a smirk on her face. Elena took it gently from his hands, before examining it carefully. It didn't seem to be damaged. She briefly glanced over her dress too, and was relieved to find it intact, if a little dusty. She had to return it in the morning. She just held the tiara in her scarlet stained fingers, not bothering to put it back on her head. She knew she was a state - she'd need to go to the bathroom and clean up. Elena considered the events since she'd entered this room. Their blood exchange. The way they had saved each other. It was surreal, but it made Elena's heart swell.

"Elena." "Damon." They both uttered each other's name at the same moment. Elena blushed slightly. "You first," she conceded. Damon looked at her, capturing her eyes with his intensity.

"Thank you." Two words she'd never expected from Damon's lips. Never once had she heard him thank anyone. Yet here he was, thanking her.

"For what?" Elena asked. Damon shrugged, seeming to hesitate, almost struggle with the words.

"You saved my life tonight. It's not the first time either, Elena. Most people would have given up by now." Damon said. Elena just wanted to hug him. She would never give up on him. She'd save him every time she could. "I don't know what you see in me. I don't know how you do. I'm not a hero, Elena, I don't do good things. But you see something worth saving." Damon paused. "And I'm glad you do."

Elena didn't speak. She just took a step forward and wrapped her arms around Damon. It was all there was to say, all there was to do. Elena would never know how Damon was repeating parts of the speech that had been meant for her, years ago, on the day of the Founder's Parade. When Katherine had received the speech that was meant for her. But she did know that it broke her heart. Damon didn't think he was worth saving. He was. Always. There had never been a more perfect moment to admit how she felt.

"Damon, I have something to say." Elena whispered, still holding him in her embrace. Damon pushed her back slightly, so he could meet her eyes. Elena saw the look of curiosity and trepidation that bred there. And she knew this was the right choice.

"I think..."

Elena trailed off. The door had opened. They were no longer alone.

And the moment was gone.


	19. Confessions

_Thanks for all the love for the last chapter. It only makes me feel more guilty about taking so long with this one. I also want to apologise for the festive-season in the middle of spring, but it just works really well with the plot. And trust me, if you guys are willing to wait through my slow updates, and bear the unseasonal setting, it will be worth it. And just as another quick note, I'm going to disclaim myself from Meredith's background. I've tweaked things ever so slightly, but the core story remains the same as was in the books. L.J. writes some very good characters, I'm just giving Meredith the love she deserves. Thanks for sticking with the story guys, and I promise I'm not going to make you wait much longer. As always, enjoy, and feel free to let me know what you think. :)_

* * *

Elena could freely admit she was disappointed that Meredith chose that moment to return. She'd been so close to saying it. But she'd been interrupted again, and this wasn't the kind of admission you could make without the right mood. It was waiting for the right moment, the right time. Yet every time Elena seemed to find it, it slipped away, stolen by the presence of others. Twice tonight had she tried, and twice she had failed. It was almost like fate wanted her to fail. Why couldn't Meredith have waited just a minute more? It was all she would have needed. Just a minute. A minute to change her life, her heart forever. A minute to be as honest as she'd ever been in her life. A minute to stop all the pain and the hurt in Damon's life, a minute to begin to right a legion of wrongs. Was it so much to ask?

However, curiosity took over when Meredith slipped inside, closing the door gently behind her. Elena looked up at her friend, and found her almost perfectly intact. Her hair was a little messier than before, her expression a little more drawn and her eyes a little more sad. But for someone who had just attempted to stake a vampire, she was doing remarkably well. She was incredible. Strong, resilient, never so much as shaken. Meredith felt like the sole constant in the universe. Elena was slightly in awe of her friend.

That wasn't the only reason for Elena's sheer respect for Meredith. Meredith had interrupted, and Elena was still tangled up in Damon's arms. Her arms were stretched out, her hands linking just behind his neck. Elena finally noticed that Damon had his hands on her waist. She'd been so caught up in the moment that she didn't notice the electric currents Damon's fingers sent through her spine. Both of them stood there, staring at Meredith. With every credit to her, Meredith was completely nonplussed by their embrace. Like she had suspected something was going on the whole time. Elena blushed slightly. Meredith had noticed and she hadn't. How blind could you get? Really?

When Damon spotted Meredith, Elena could feel him tense. He'd never trusted Meredith, never really _liked_ her, per se. She was completely immune to Damon's charm; about the only person she'd ever seen who wasn't attracted to him in some way at first sight. It was impressive. But Damon's suspicion and the confirmation of _something_ being off meant that he wouldn't hesitate to threaten her, harm her. Elena knew he was going to pin her to the floor and pump her for answers. And she wouldn't let him. Secrets or not, Meredith had saved Damon's life tonight - and in turn, saved Elena's. What a way to repay such a debt.

Sliding her hand down so her palm was flat on Damon's chest, Elena looked intently into Damon's eyes, applying a little pressure through her hand. "Damon, no." Elena said it strongly, in a way that tried to command his attention. Reluctantly, Damon withdrew his gaze from Meredith, meeting Elena's eyes with pure cynicism. As if to say 'Y_ou still trust her? You're insane.'_ Elena knew that. She also didn't care. "You owe her. We both owe her. She saved your life tonight," Elena murmured in a voice so low, Meredith certainly wouldn't hear. Damon seemed to consider this and concede slightly. "I'll go easy on her," was the only response Elena got before Damon strode over to the sofas to one side of the room, covered in white sheets. Damon sat down on one, right on top of the sheets, lounging around like they were in the bar at the Ritz. It was impressive.

"So, Meredith," Damon began, in a tone parallel to that of dramatic, TV interviews. Elena slowly walked over to Damon, before sitting down close to him. She wanted to be on hand if anything went awry. Meredith took a seat too. She barely even looked worried. "You just attempted to stake a vampire, how do you feel?"

Meredith ignored him.

"I'm so sorry, Elena."

Elena had never seen Damon more irritated. He didn't like being dismissed as Meredith so easily did. Elena restrained her humour at Damon, focusing on her friend. She obviously felt guilty over something.

"There's so much I never said..." Meredith continued on briefly. Elena quickly shook her head.

"Don't apologise for that. I've had my secrets too." Elena admitted. "I'm just glad you were here tonight." Meredith nodded. It was just like Damon to be terminally unable to shut up.

"Hate to interrupt this lovely little bonding moment," Damon said smoothly. "But I'd love to know how you know about vampires, sweetheart." Meredith looked at him coolly, with a steadiness that was almost unnerving. Damon just smiled encouragingly, but the tone was off. It was more mocking than anything.

"I didn't." Meredith replied steadily. Elena's eyes widened. Even Damon looked mildly confused.

"Do you want me to try that again? How did you know?" Damon insisted, assuming Meredith was lying.

"I didn't _know._" Meredith said, more to Elena than to Damon. Elena held Meredith's eyes, curious about the whole situation. "I was guessing. Even then, I thought it was all a myth three months ago."

So Meredith wasn't a hunter. Elena had never been more relieved. But she was still puzzled. Knowing Damon's bad cop act would get them nowhere, Elena jumped in. She hated to turn it into a tacky old crime show, but someone had to rescue the situation.

"Then how did you work it out?" Elena coaxed. A haunted look reached Meredith's eyes. It was the first time Elena could remember seeing Meredith in so much pain. "You don't have to go into details," Elena assured her, scared by Meredith's near-breakdown, by her standards.

"No. I want you to know." Meredith said quietly. Damon looked on with interest. Elena was merely concerned. "When I was seven, my grandfather was badly hurt. Before then, he'd always been the light of our lives. Energetic, ready for anything and completely resilient. I loved him, we all did. But the attack shook us all. The police said it was a coyote. He ended up in hospital, his throat badly slashed, along with a few other injuries, including major blood loss."

"It wasn't a coyote, was it?" Elena murmured, stunned. She hadn't expected this.

"I suppose not. He was hospital for weeks, disorientated and babbling on about how it was a vampire that had attacked him. He kept requesting books and journals on everything relating to vampires, and the hospital obliged rather than protest. Whatever happened that night when he was hurt, it drove him crazy. He attacked my grandmother and I when we were visiting one day. He...he became a mark of family shame. They sent him to a mental institution. I visit him sometimes. Sometimes he knows me. Others he doesn't. Of course, we thought he was just being crazy when he told us all it was a vampire."

"How did you work out the truth?" Damon asked softly, yet insistently. Elena would have chided him and instructed him to play nice, but she was too wrapped up in Meredith's story.

"Three months ago, there were... incidents in this area. People were dying of mysterious injuries, all wounds to the neck. They blamed an animal. But the cases were too similar, especially to what happened to my grandfather. I managed to get some information on the bodies, discovered they were all drained of blood. I spent months investigating the deaths. It wasn't hard to decide that my grandfather might not have been completely delusional. He used to babble on about vervain and wood and fire and all these things that were meant to protect us. I figured it was worth a shot."

Elena was too busy staring at Damon in shock to pay attention to the end of Meredith's statement. Bodies drained of blood? People dead on the streets? Elena could only think one thing, as much as she didn't want to.

"Damon, what were you thinking?" Elena asked, feeling desperate, almost disappointed. She knew Damon relied on blood. But she thought he'd stopped resorting to brutal homicide for it. Damon arched an eyebrow at her, glaring slightly.

"This wasn't me, Elena, although your faith in me is _stunning_." Meredith shook her head.

"The attacks have been irregular. One in September. A couple at the end of October. A few last week. Someone's been coming and going." Meredith reassured Elena. Elena had the decency to be a little embarrassed for accusing Damon so quickly.

"Sorry," Elena murmured to Damon. He didn't respond.

"I imagine our little Katherine-hunter was been responsible," Damon speculated his eyes transfixed on Meredith. Meredith didn't seem uncomfortable, but she didn't seem happy with it either.

"Well, at least that problem's solved," Meredith said wryly, glancing sideways at where Michael's body still lay. Elena couldn't help but be impressed of Meredith's attitude once more. Damon shrugged.

"For now."

Elena considered this. Michael obviously wasn't alone. She'd gathered that much from his conversation with her, when he'd thought she was Katherine. He had used plurals, and mentioned a name. Jared. Who was he? The ring leader of the little gang Katherine had pissed off? It was sounding like it. Elena didn't want to find out, but with Michael dead, she had a feeling that she would. It wasn't a comforting thought.

"We should get back. If we're not there for much longer, someone will notice," Meredith said, getting to her feet. Damon looked at Meredith, as if he was plotting a course of action. Elena turned to watch Damon. His plots were never simple.

"You two should go clean up. Then go back to the party, I'll meet you there."

"We're going _back?_" Elena asked, surprised. Michael had turned up once at a party, called her Katherine and left, and Damon had swept her away before anything else could happen. Michael had just tried to kill her, and now he wanted them go back to the dance? There was no logic.

"We don't know if Michael was here alone or not. If we run away, they'll only work out that he's dead faster."

"And what's so bad about that?" Elena asked, struggling to understand.

"They already want revenge on Katherine. Let's put them off angling for revenge on us too."

Elena looked at Damon, desperation and fear in her eyes. Damon just stared back, his own blue eyes intense and utterly reassuring. With just one look, Elena was sure that as long as Damon was around, she was safe. They were a part of each other now. His blood was pumping through her veins, and hers was in his. You couldn't defeat that kind of connection easily. Her fears were quelled with that one look. It was so intense that Elena didn't realise Meredith was already at the door until Damon looked away.

"Go and get cleaned up, Elena."

"What about you? What are you going to do?" Elena murmured in reply. Damon smirked wryly.

"Well, someone's got to clean up this mess. And I really need a new shirt. This torn-and-bloodstained look is not good."

Elena smiled, peering over her shoulder at Meredith, who was lingering behind a barely open door. She knew she had to go. But she hated to leave Damon alone. It was silly, but still. She worried about him. On impulse, Elena stood up on her toes and gave Damon a quick peck on the cheek. She met his eyes for a moment. He looked completely stunned. Elena didn't speak. She knew her every wish and sentiment had been sent to Damon with her gesture.

Elena smiled slightly, before turning away and walking out of the function suite, leaving a shell shocked Damon in her wake.

It was a full thirty seconds after Elena left before Damon moved.

Meredith and Elena spent a full fifteen minutes in the bathroom, cleaning up. Elena rinsed the blood from her hands, and then stared at herself in the mirror. She was a mess. She laid the tiara down on the counter, staring at her hair. She stared pulling the pins out of her chestnut locks, letting it hang loose around her shoulders. Her hair was lightly curled from the pins, but it was still passable. Meredith walked up behind Elena, having neatened up her own style once more. Elena met Meredith's dark eyes in the mirror.

"I'm sorry. I never wanted to lie to you," Elena told her. Meredith smiled weakly at Elena.

"We all have our secrets." Meredith slowly began to help Elena tease the knots from her hair.

"How long have you been tangled up in the supernatural?" Meredith eventually asked. Elena had already decided to come clean with Meredith, so she didn't hesitate when she spoke.

"Two years."

"How did it start?"

"The first time I knew?" Meredith nodded. "You remember Stefan, right?"

"Your ex-boyfriend? Yes, I remember you talking about him."

"He's a vampire."

Meredith just laughed slightly. Elena smiled. Meredith's joy was infectious, even in these circumstances.

"Only you would start dating a vampire, Elena Gilbert."

"What about Damon?" Elena asked. Meredith's eyes glinted with humour.

"But you know about him. Maybe you just can't stay away," Meredith teased.

"That's not the half of it. Damon and Stefan are brothers, and vampirism seems to run in my family." Meredith looked at her, surprised.

"Why don't you give me the story?"

Elena talked for what felt like hours, but actually only lasted until they returned to the ballroom. They both took a seat at a free table, slipping into their places unnoticed. Hopefully, people would just think they'd been there the whole time. To Elena, the normality of returning to the ball felt alien. She finished her story just as they settled down, watching the people dancing on the floor. She told Meredith everything. About Stefan, Damon, Bonnie, Caroline, Katherine, the sacrifice, Klaus. Everything. Some things were too personal for Elena to disclose. Like how she'd felt about Damon. How she'd felt about Stefan. Elena deliberately glossed over certain events, like her time in Georgia, and the days she'd spent at the lake house with Stefan. But the general course of events had been explained in about ten minutes. Elena was proud of herself for untangling the complicated web of her life in such a short space of time.

"So when everyone left, I just missed my old life. I missed my friends. I wanted to make a fresh start here, but it wasn't really working. I kept going back to Mystic Falls because I felt like I was missing something. I never could find it."

"Until Damon came back," Meredith supplied. Elena smiled slightly, nodding.

"Until Damon came back," she agreed. Meredith seemed to ponder for a moment, absorbing the information. Then she spoke, slowly at first. "Elena, you have to understand. My grandfather was attacked whilst walking home one night. His wounds were terrible, and what the attack did to him mentally was...well, he tried to kill me. His own granddaughter. Even though I was only seven, the memories are still there. I can't trust any vampire easily."

"Is that why you were so...harsh with Damon when you first met him?" Meredith genuinely laughed.

"I didn't even know he was a vampire until the moment I walked in and saw him fighting with... Michael, was it? I was harsh with Damon when I met him because he's an overconfident ass." Elena smiled. Even she was pushed to deny something she knew to be true. There was a pause, and Meredith looked steadily at Elena. "I can't trust him easily, Elena."

Elena nodded. It was fair enough. Besides, this wasn't total aversion, like Bonnie. If she could handle the feelings of her childhood best friend, she could take whatever Meredith wanted. She was surprised, however, when Meredith spoke again.

"But I'll try. For you." Elena was surprised.

"Meredith..."

"He cares about you, Elena. And you trust him. If you two have that kind of relationship, then I don't see why I shouldn't try and trust him. I'm not saying we'll ever be best friends, and I'm not saying that it'll be easy. I just think you should know."

Elena could have hugged Meredith. Instead, she just settled for a simple, warm 'thank you'. Meredith smiled, and it struck Elena she couldn't have found a better roommate. Meredith seemed to see something in the crowd, because she got to her feet, and began to move away from Elena. Elena wasn't sure how she felt about being left alone, but she didn't have it in her to protest. As she passed Elena, she briefly murmured three words.

"Don't be afraid."

Meredith was gone before Elena could ask what she meant. Elena would have chased after her, but when she turned back, she was trapped in her chair by a pair of icy blue eyes. Was that what Meredith had meant? Don't be afraid of Damon? Or don't be afraid to admit your feelings? Meredith really was insightful. It was intriguing. It seemed that the night was just full of surprises.

Damon slipped into a chair next to Elena, wearing a fresh, white shirt. His jacket was missing, but the mobster look was still firmly in place. He'd retrieved his hat and he was wearing _braces_. It was a bizarre look, but Elena couldn't say she hated it. She smiled slightly.

"You found a shirt then," Elena prompted.

"Not exactly my style, but at least this one doesn't make me look like a horror movie reject," Damon replied calmly. Elena laughed slightly. Damon looked at her, curious.

"You do realise the irony of that, right?" Elena supplied. Damon just smirked.

"Believe me, Elena. I do." Elena looked into his eyes for a moment, considering everything that had happened in such a short space of time. It was like in a few hours, she'd gone from standing worlds apart from Damon, to being with him, every step of the way. It was scary.

"What a way to start the holidays," Elena murmured.

"I suppose you're going back to good old Mystic Falls?" Damon asked her, sarcasm in his voice as he spoke of their hometown.

"I promised Jenna." There was a pause. "What about you, Damon?" Damon smirked, laughing just a little.

"Oh, I don't really do Christmas. I'll probably just stay here. It's not like I have family to go see." Elena didn't even ask about Stefan. She really couldn't imagine them meeting up for holidays. It just didn't click. She thought about how sad it would be for Damon to be sitting alone, drinking scotch and drowning his sorrows on Christmas Day. It was unbearable. Before Elena knew it, she was thinking out loud.

"Come with me."

"What was that, Elena?" Damon asked her, almost as if he was mocking her.

"Spend Christmas with me, Damon."

He looked surprised. Maybe tonight was just meant to be surprising in general. Elena babbled on without thinking.

"I mean, I don't know that you could stay at our place, because Jenna would blow a gasket, but I can convince her that it's okay to have you over for Christmas Day. It's not like it's a state crime or anything, she'll come around. And -" Damon cut her off.

"Sure." Damon said, with a nonchalant shrug, trying to pass it off as nothing. Elena paused. She hadn't expected him to say yes. Damon repeated himself. "I'll come back to Virginia with you, Elena."

A genuine, warm smile lit up Elena's face.

"You're going to need someone to look after you at this rate, anyway," he teased her. Elena smiled.

"That not why I asked." Elena told him. Damon arched an eyebrow at her.

"Then why did you ask?"

"Because I couldn't bear the thought of you sitting at some bar alone for the holidays."

And that was the truth. Damon just smiled slightly, as if he was daring to hope that Elena didn't hate him as much as she had professed to. Elena could just see the glimmer of wishing to hope in Damon's eyes. But then he just smirked and let the cocky, smart ass exterior hide it all away. What Elena wouldn't give to get underneath that shell. It was her own fault really.

She intend to fix that.


	20. Homecoming

_Apologies for the long wait for this chapter. I had some computer issues - but the good news is it's all fixed now! I'm on a bit of a roll, so the next chapters will come out of the works soon. Hopefully, they'll make it worth the wait. Big thanks to all reviewers, and frankly to anyone who has stuck by this story for so long and hung around waiting for me to update. You guys are truly amazing. If you can stand the unfortunate holiday theme for the next few chapters, I promise you that the plot developments will be worth it. Anyway, as always, I would love to hear any thoughts you have. Read on, and enjoy! :)_

* * *

"Elena!"

"Jenna, you're going to break my ribs."

"Well, I missed your responsible self, okay?" Jenna still had her niece locked in a hug, but at least Elena didn't feel like she was about to snap in two. Elena laughed.

"I missed you too."

Elena's aunt finally released her, leaving her feeling surprisingly whole. It was strange. All those months ago, she'd constantly visited Mystic Falls, looking for this feeling. Looking to feel at peace. At home. Why was it here now, when she stood looking at her aunt, brother and Alaric? What was so different? She felt happy to be here. She felt good. It was the first time she'd felt good in Mystic Falls for months. Elena wondered why for only a moment. Then Damon walked up behind her, and she knew why. Life just wasn't the same without Damon Salvatore.

It was almost funny to watch the reactions of the three people before her. Alaric looked a little surprised, but in a good way. Like he was glad to see Damon, despite everything. Jeremy just had a slight smirk on his face, almost saying 'I told you so'. Elena didn't know why he was so smug. She wasn't sure she wanted to know. Jenna however, just looked suspicious. She tried to be civil, at least.

"Damon. I didn't expect to see you." Jenna sounded like she wished he'd never turned up.

"Oh, Elena and I bumped into each other at Duke. She said she was coming back here so I offered to drive her. I was coming this way too." Damon was using his best human-nice-guy voice. Elena didn't turn around, but she knew he'd have that cute little winning smile on. He put Elena's suitcase in down in the hallway. Jenna clearly didn't buy it.

"I didn't think you'd come back for the holidays, though. Where is Stefan these days?" Jenna probed. Elena silently wished she'd never mentioned the younger Salvatore brother. His memory still caused her some pain.

"Oh, Stefan got caught up with some stuff at college. But there's nothing like coming home for Christmas, is there?"

The lack of response Damon got was stunning. He moved on quickly.

"Anyway, I've got to get going. I have some things to sort out at the boarding house."

"Do you want a ride?" Elena offered politely. They'd driven back to Mystic Falls in Elena's car, so she was just trying to be nice. She knew Damon could run back to his house faster than she could drive.

"Nah, it's not too far. Anyway, I guess I'll see you guys around. Merry Christmas." With a smile and a wink, he was gone. As soon as the door closed behind him, Jenna practically exploded.

"What is he doing here?" Jenna demanded. "I thought he left town."

"He did. But you know, we just ran into each other..," Elena lied. Although it wasn't a real lie - they hadn't exactly planned to meet again. Well. Maybe Damon had planned to see her again. Their relationship was complicated. Elena frowned slightly as sympathy and almost understanding flooded Jenna's eyes.

"You don't have to lie to me anymore, Elena."

Elena looked between Alaric's guilty expression, Jeremy's retreating back, and Jenna's half smile. It was in that moment that Elena _knew _something was going on.

"Jeremy, get back here. Did you tell her?" Elena demanded of her brother. Jeremy ducked back down the staircase, grinning. Alaric looked even more guilty, as he slipped away into the living room. Elena looked between her aunt and her brother expectantly. She'd sat down and agreed with Jeremy that the lies kept their aunt safe. She hadn't expected him to go back on their pact so easily. What benefit did Jenna knowing the truth bring?

"Hey, don't look at me," Jeremy insisted. "But she found out all right."

Jenna shrugged, walking over to the living room and sitting down beside Alaric. Elena walked into the room, but remained standing, her hands on her hips.

"It's my own fault, really. I went snooping." Jenna shrugged. Elena raised an eyebrow expectantly. Finally someone cracked.

"She found my armoury," Alaric supplied. A small smile twitched Elena's lips.

"Armoury? You mean all the..?"

"Stakes and vervain and stuff? Yeah." Alaric really did look guilty. The expression on his face was so ridiculous that Elena cracked a smile.

"You couldn't lie about it either, huh? After everything we did?" Elena said, finally sitting down.

"What are you meant to say about that?" Jeremy said, from where he was hovering in the doorway. Elena considered it for a moment.

"I suppose." Elena then turned her attention to her aunt. "I'm sorry I lied to you so much, Jenna, but..."

"You thought it was for the best. I know," Jenna said sympathetically. "I'm kind of glad you did lie to me. As much as I would have liked to help, it was probably better I kept out of it. But you don't have to lie to me anymore, Elena. I can handle it."

Elena exhaled, considering this for a moment. At least she didn't have to keep secrets in her own home any more. But in a way, she really didn't want to say everything.

"I mean, it's not like anyone's life is at stake this time, right?" Jenna prompted. Elena winced slightly.

"Yeah, about that..." Elena began. All three of them stared at her, but it was Alaric who spoke.

"Elena?"

"I don't know. I don't want to explain it on my own." Elena admitted. In truth, she was missing Damon already and he'd only been gone five minutes. Had she really gotten so attached to him over the past two months? Evidentially, considering the way she felt about him. But she really couldn't face the memories alone. Besides, she didn't even know the full picture - Elena was positive Damon had theories he was yet to disclose.

"But who else would know?" Jenna asked. Elena didn't speak. Neither did Jeremy or Alaric, although Elena was sure they knew who she meant. "Elena?"

"Damon's been at Duke with me for a couple of months now," Elena admitted quietly. Jenna's eyes widened. Jeremy's smug smirk returned, making Elena want to wrestle him to the floor like she was six years old again.

"Elena..." Jenna said in her best parental-authority voice. Elena rushed to amend her statement.

"We're not living together! There's nothing going on. We're just friends. And he's been helping a lot, with everything that's going on." Elena spoke in a rush. Jenna looked a little relieved. She couldn't help but feel like a liar.

"Well, why don't you call him and we'll get the story?" Jenna suggested. Alaric , Jeremy and Elena all stared at Jenna, stunned. She thought about it for a second, then bit her lip.

"I did it again, didn't I?" she asked. Alaric tried to reason with her.

"You don't like Damon very much. Perhaps we should let him do his own thing for a little while," he suggested gently. Staring at her ex-history teacher, Elena knew he was as much a part of the family as Jeremy was now. She was glad - her aunt needed someone, especially once both her and Jeremy had moved out.

Elena silently thought that if Isobel had kept her, Alaric would have made a great dad.

* * *

In the end, Jenna reconsidered talking to Damon at all. Elena had been out and about around Mystic Falls, and had repeatedly bumped into Damon. But she couldn't help but notice he seemed different than before the ball. He was less distant, although she didn't feel a hell of a lot closer to him. It was like he'd taken a step back in her direction - he was still cut off from her, but he was closer. The change encouraged her. But more importantly, every time she met Damon, she felt like she was under scrutiny. He kept looking at her weirdly, like he was trying to work out the motives behind her renewed friendship with him. She was being more than civil these days. In fact, she was trying a lot harder to win him over than she had been. Damon noticed.

On the plus side, Elena had successfully convinced Jenna to let Damon visit them for Christmas. Alaric had pushed a little too, as had Jeremy. Their combined efforts had been too much to resist, although Elena hadn't been expecting to receive back up on the matter. But when she thought about it, she figured Alaric really did consider Damon a friend. She wondered if Alaric would have invited Damon over for the holiday season himself, if the history teacher hadn't been coming over to the Gilbert house for the festivities. As for Jeremy - it struck Elena that he saw Damon as the older brother he never had. It wasn't quite hero-worship, but it wasn't quite friendship either. Either way, Jeremy liked Damon more than he let on. Between the three of them, Jenna had been unable to resist.

"Fine, but he had better not bring one of his silly little girlfriends. This is not permission to gatecrash," Jenna warned. Elena assured her that she would take care of that part of the deal. She didn't think Damon would try to ruin Jenna's Christmas, though. He had a little bit more heart than that. At least, Elena thought so.

Admittedly, Elena would have been completely focused on Damon had it not been for the surprise she received several days after she arrived home, two days before Christmas. They'd all be nestled inside the house for the night when the doorbell rang. Half-expecting Damon, Elena went to the door, although she was unable to work out why he'd bother with the doorbell. If he had wanted to see her, he would have invaded her room, where she'd been sitting with her diary. Curious, Elena opened the door. She stood, staring at the woman facing her.

"Hi." Caroline smiled shyly, looking a little uncomfortable. Elena just smiled.

"Caroline." It was all the encouragement Caroline needed. She fell onto Elena, hugging her warmly.

"Oh, Elena, I missed you so much! How've you been? I'm so sorry I ditched you like I did, and I was a sucky friend. I stopped texting you and everything and I'm awful and I'm so sorry. I'd understand if you hate me. Do you hate me?" Caroline spoke in a rush, eventually withdrawing from her hug so she could stare Elena in the eye. Elena couldn't help but smile.

"No, I don't hate you," Elena said calmly. She never had hated Caroline for leaving. Caroline had left because everyone expected her to go to college. Everyone expected Caroline to be growing old. But neither of those things were going to happen, but Caroline had to protect her secret. Elena understood. Caroline had left because there wasn't really a place left for her in Mystic Falls. Elena knew the feeling. It stalked her every step. Caroline smiled weakly.

"I'm glad. I hate it when you're mad at me." Caroline said. Elena smiled.

"Come in. We need to catch up," Elena informed her. Caroline bounced through the door, and they both headed up to her room before anyone could say a word to them. It was like they were fourteen all over again.

Elena had missed this like crazy.

* * *

Over the past two years, Damon had been frequenting the Mystic Grill so often that it was almost like a haunt for him now. It was a near certainty that if he wasn't at the Boarding House, then he would be at the Grill, nursing a scotch. As such, he supposed he really shouldn't have been surprised when he was tracked down to the bar, and the stool on his right hand side was filled.

Damon raised his glass in honour of his companion, a slightly cynical smirk gracing his lips. "Ric," he greeted. Damon really had no right to be surprised that Alaric had sought him out. He hadn't shown up at the Gilbert household since he had dropped Elena off. No doubt Auntie Jenna would be bouncing off the walls with his mere presence in town. And Alaric had to be the good boyfriend and solve the issue. Too bad that it wasn't an easier issue for the History teacher to rectify.

"Damon." Alaric almost sounded tired. Damon's smirk deepened slightly. At least he knew his evaluation was probably right on cue. Damon waved to the barman, ordering Alaric a drink in three seconds flat. "I didn't think I'd see you again," Alaric continued.

"Yeah, well I like to keep you on your toes, Ric," Damon replied, verbally shrugging his abrupt departure from town off. He'd left in a whirlwind all those months ago. Even Damon himself hadn't expected to return to Mystic Falls any time soon. But the town still held one elusive attraction.

"Didn't expect to see you with Elena either."

At the mention of her name, Damon knocked back some more of the scotch in his hand, letting it burn its way down his throat. Elena. A word with oh so many connotations. Damon had been absolutely sure that she wanted rid of him. Frankly, being anywhere near her had hurt like hell. She'd been extremely mad at him on a basis that ran like clockwork in the past few weeks. Really, it wasn't like he was killing anyone. But now, all of a sudden, she wanted him to play house with her family. Over _Christmas_, no less. Damon hadn't done Christmas since 1992. It was silly. Why was she making such an effort to be friendly _now_? It just didn't make sense.

Not only was it illogical, it was murderous. Damon had made his choice weeks ago. He'd given her up. He'd finally given up on chasing Elena Gilbert. She clearly was never going to love him the way he loved her so much. So he wouldn't force her to do a thing. He loved her too much for that. If she was going to be happier with some nice, weak, feeble, pathetic, normal human guy, then so be it. Damon would want that for her, because it was what she wanted. Sure, it was going to kill him. It was going to hurt like a wooden bullet through the head. It was going to tear him apart for the rest of his existence. But he would do it. Because the other option just _wasn't_ an option.

He loved her that much.

"You still hung up on her?" Alaric questioned Damon when he refused to speak. Dammit, why did he have to be so on the ball? Damon just rolled his eyes as a mask.

"Yes Ric, I'm still pining after her. Why do you think I'm drowning my sorrows?" Damon spoke with perfect sarcasm, looking at Ric, just asking for a reason to smack the teacher around the head. It would feel _great_ right now. Alaric just lifted his own glass of alcohol to his lips, examining Damon carefully. It was like a flipping x-ray.

"I'm the closest thing you have to a friend, Damon. You don't have to lie to me."

God, was he really so transparent? He didn't want to seem like the idiot guy longing after a girl and doing nothing about it. But what was there to do? He wasn't pining. Alaric was clearly just imagining things. Hell would almost certainly freeze over before Damon was caught moping. Or worse, _brooding._ His name was not Stefan. He did not brood.

"Who says I'm lying, hm?" Damon retorted.

There was a pause. It crossed Damon's mind that perhaps the History teacher was far more intelligent than he looked.

"How's Jenna? You two looked like you were having fun playing happy families."

"She'd fine. Although right now she'd kinda pissed." Damon couldn't help but smirk. He loved it when he was right.

"Really? Whatever had the lovely lady upset now?"

"Elena invited you over for Christmas."

Damon hadn't thought she was serious. He hadn't actually expected her to convince Jenna it was okay for him to come over on the 25th of the month. It was baffling. What the hell was she up to?

"Do me a favour Damon. Don't ruin it for her. I have no idea why Elena wants you there, and I can't say I have an issue with it. But Jenna's had a rough time lately. Don't screw it up."

"I am perfectly capable of being civil, Ric. Family night is the highlight of my existence."

"Fabulous." Glad we got that one out of the way. Damon sipped at his drink, just happy it was all over. If Alaric shut up for long enough, he might be able to theorise over the actions of a certain teenage doppelganger. "I think Jenna wants to talk you anyway." Damon was confused (again) in moments.

"About what?"

"Elena."

Damn. Elena, Elena, Elena. Why did it always come back to one girl? She was like a magnet.

No matter how hard Damon tried, he couldn't pull away.


	21. Tick Tock

_Glad to know some people stuck with this story. Thanks for the reviews, guys, I am encouraged. Sadly, not much D/E in this chapter. But I solemnly swear, there will be progress. ;) Also, I have to say that I had an immense amount of fun writing Caroline. She is epic. I also love reading your reviews, so feel free to leave a comment. :)_

* * *

Caroline stayed over. The two talked and talked late into the night until they both fell asleep on Elena's bed. Just like they once had, years before vampires, werewolves and witches had leapt out of storybooks. Only there was one person missing.

They were careful to avoid all discussions of Bonnie Bennett, apart from to agree that neither of them had seen her or even heard from her in months. It was a sore spot for them both. Bonnie had bailed out on the supernatural world - the one they were both firmly a part of. Elena had thought that Bonnie was getting better, accepting the world they lived in. But the moment that everyone was safe, she had fled. She hadn't wanted anything to do with vampires. It felt like a betrayal to both Elena and Caroline. It hurt like betrayal too.

Tyler was a much happier subject to consider. Caroline was on better footing with him these days, although she honestly didn't know whether it would last or not. She had decided just to sit back and see where things went. She was enjoying the ride at the moment. But Caroline had told her that she was always hoping. Elena admired Caroline for that. She could still hope, despite everything. Caroline could just relax, take it easy, and hope for the best. Elena couldn't do that anymore. If things were going downhill, she just assumed they would hit rock bottom. Caroline was completely different, a breath of much needed fresh air. Elena loved it. They spent hours, just catching up. No one came to check on them. Caroline had no one to worry about - Tyler was at his mother's and Caroline's own mother didn't even know she was in town. Just for once, they were free.

They woke up to a busy Christmas Eve. Jenna was bustling about downstairs when they finally decided to show face. It was late morning, but Jenna was still going like a train, trying to make sure she was prepared for the festivities tomorrow morning. Alaric was there too, making every attempt to calm Jenna down. He wasn't being too successful. Elena absently wondered if Alaric was a permanent fixture in the house these days - she'd need to ask Jeremy.

It didn't take long for Caroline to launch an escape plan from the mayhem.

"You know what? I'm going to take you to Charlottesville."

"Charlottesville?" It was the closest city to Mystic Falls. They went shopping there sometimes, or to watch a movie or something. They hadn't taken a trip there in months. Elena was surprised Caroline would suggest it especially considering that it was the day before Christmas.

"Yes, Charlottesville. There is a party at the Grill tonight, and there will be music and dancing, and it will be so much fun. So we are going outfit shopping, and then we are going to have the time of our lives and forget about all the stupid problems we've had since forever."

Elena laughed slightly, before eventually shrugging. Caroline was so confident in her plan it was almost hard to try and fault it. Besides, a party without Damon where she really could just forget _everything_ felt like a good idea. Besides. There were less than 24 hours until Christmas morning. It wasn't like she had anything better to be doing.

"Okay then," Elena agreed, smiling slightly, feeling a little bemused. Caroline grinned brightly.

"Yay! Go on, go and get dressed. We are going shopping."

And so they went shopping. In just over an hour, Caroline had them in the shopping mall at Charlottesville, window shopping. Caroline stopped outside a clothes store, gazing at the models in the window. They were done up in the traditional party dress outfits, angled at those going to Christmas parties. The mall was full of people heading off for last minute Christmas presents, but Caroline ignored them all, staring at the dresses. Elena looked at Caroline expectantly. After a moment or so, Caroline grabbed Elena's hand and started heading for the store entrance. Elena pulled back in confusion.

"Caroline, what are you doing?"

"Taking you to get a sexy little dress for tonight." Elena smiled a little, but persevered.

"Caroline, I don't need a sexy dress for tonight, just a nice one." Caroline stopped and looked at Elena, placing her elegant hands on her hips.

"If you don't have a sexy dress, how do you expect to impress Damon?"

Elena swore her jaw literally hit the floor. How the hell did she work that out? How did she even know considering they'd only been reunited for a matter of hours?

"Oh come on Elena, give me some credit. We've been friends since we were six years old. I know you. You wouldn't shut up about Damon at all last night, and as much as I hate his guts, if he makes you happy, then fine. Whatever. I mean, I'll kick his ass if he so much as scratches you, but still. You're still my best friend, Elena. I still want you to be happy."

Caroline's protectiveness made Elena's heart swell, but she was more focused on doing something else at that moment. "Caroline, we're not dating. I mean, this is Damon we're talking about." Caroline stared walking into the store, and Elena trailed along beside her. Caroline headed directly to the party dresses, whilst looking sceptically at Elena.

"And yet from what you said last night..." Caroline trailed off.

"Caroline! I am not...I mean, I don't... I can't, Caroline." Elena surprised herself. She had been trying to tell Caroline she was in no way attracted to Damon. She had been trying to say she wasn't in love with him. She'd been trying to assure her they were just friends. But she couldn't do it. She couldn't lie anymore - not after her denial had ended so soundly. Not when she was, in fact, trying to admit her feelings to Damon himself. But it just felt wrong for Caroline to know before Damon himself did. But there was hardly any way of avoiding it now.

"I know, Elena. I know." Caroline said sympathetically. She turned the mood around to light heartedness at a moment's notice. "I mean, if you ask me, it's weird. After everything Damon did, you choose him?" Caroline fingered a sparkly red dress. Elena moved on to a more conservative purple, but Caroline quickly shoved her towards something flirtier. Elena shook her head slightly.

"It's _because_ of everything he did. I mean, he was awful. With you, with the town. But he's different now, Care. He's changed. And he came back. I was feeling so... depressed after you'd all left. But _he came back_." Elena said it like it explained everything. She just felt... Damon had been there. She had been falling and there had been no one there to do a thing about it. But Damon had caught her, just before she hit the ground. She just couldn't live without him. Not anymore.

"I still feel awful about leaving," Caroline murmured.

"You had to, Care. I understood why you left. As for everyone else..." Elena lightly exhaled. Her point didn't even need to be said.

"But Damon came back." Caroline stated. Elena nodded. The blonde held Elena's eyes, trying to put all her sincerity into the gaze. "Elena. I don't _like_ Damon. I can't, not after what he did to me. But if you trust him, and you want this, then I'm with you."

"I do. You have no idea how sure I am." Elena had been thinking about it for days. She knew her choice. There was no doubt in her mind anymore. She was just having issues saying it. If she said it out loud, it was all a whole lot more realistic.

"Then I'm with you." Caroline repeated. Elena smiled.

"Thanks, Caroline." Elena told her. Caroline smiled.

"What are friends for?"

And with that, Caroline lifted a dress off of the rack and held it up for Elena. "You look good in blue." Caroline said, showing off the garment. It was bright blue, shamelessly short, and strapless. On Elena's relatively conservative scale, it was outrageous. Elena just took the dress from Caroline and hung it right back on the rack.

"I feel like I've been wearing nothing but blue lately."

Caroline pouted. "Okay, fine. I'm sure I read somewhere that brown hair goes well with purple. Or was it green?" Caroline cast about the racks of clothes, before her hand landed on another dress. "What about this?"

"It's pink." It was actually violently, bright pink. Off one shoulder with a belt around the waist, it was even further from Elena's usual style. At least it was longer than the last one.

"It is. Does Damon like you in pink?" Caroline asked, musing. Elena rolled her eyes.

"Caroline, this is not even close to my style."

"Exactly! We want him to notice you, see what he's missing. We want a whole new, bright, bold, Elena Gilbert. And as such, you need a fashion makeover." Caroline said it confidently, eyeing the pink dress. She flung it over her arm. "If you don't want it, I'll take it."

"Caroline, I don't see how any dress will impress Damon considering he's not going to be at the party."

"When did I say that?"

"You said we were going to the Grill to have fun and forget about everything."

"And we are. But Damon practically lives at the Grill. This is a perfect opportunity to be bold, have some fun _and_ get what you want."

Dammit. Elena had failed to consider the fact that Damon would be at the Grill whatever. He was there most of the time. Drinking. Elena restrained a sigh. Well, there went forgetting about everything.

Then Elena saw the dress.

It was a gorgeous musky kind of burgundy red, just bold enough but not so in-your-face. It had a v-neck, and was sleeveless. The fabric cinched in at the waist, before falling in gorgeous, flowing folds until it ended, just a couple of inches above knee length. Short enough, but not too short. It was perfect.

Elena walked over and picked it up off the rail, turning around to show Caroline, holding it up against her body. Caroline ran her critical eye over it, before smiling slightly.

"Mhm, if that doesn't work, nothing will. Let's just hope it fits."

It did. Elena had never seen Caroline quite so satisfied.

They drove home in the mid-afternoon. They had both bought their dresses - Elena's red and Caroline had taken the pink one Elena had rejected. They also went shopping for shoes to match, and Caroline also bought some jewellery. Elena had asked how Caroline was paying for it all. She simply smiled slyly and handed the cashier a platinum credit card. Elena had a funny feeling that Caroline was compelling someone in a bank somewhere. As much as Elena wanted to object, she found it hard to. This was the multi-million dollar profit makers of the bank, after all. It wasn't like they'd miss a few hundred off the top. Elena eventually had to suggest they head home. Jenna would probably be going insane by now. Caroline agreed, brightly saying they didn't want to be late for the party.

It was when they were taking the forty minute drive home that Caroline finally asked the question. Looking away from the road for a moment, Caroline searched Elena's face. Elena was gazing out the windscreen, watching the world go by. Caroline turned her attentions back to driving, before finally blurting what she'd been wanting to ask for hours.

"So. Why Damon?" Caroline asked bravely. Elena looked over at her friend. She could understand her friend's confusion. When Elena thought of the Damon that had arrived in Mystic Falls two years ago, she shuddered. He'd killed so many people. He'd treated Caroline like she was disposable - a piece of trash. He'd only been interested in himself and it had meant his very presence was like a tornado, ripping everything around him apart. Of course, he was still a tornado. A hurricane in Elena's life. Only there was less homicide these days, and more damage to Elena's emotions. Or rather, damage to her wall of denial. She might as well congratulate him. He'd successfully worn her down. She knew the truth now. She just didn't know how to explain it.

Caroline clearly saw that, because after a brief pause, she ploughed on. "Because, you know, you never really gave up on him. Even when he was all Dracula the Ripper you kind of... persevered. Seriously, Elena, what did you see? I mean, when I first saw him all I saw was that gorgeous body of his and bags of charm and look how that turned out. So I mean really, when there are at least 3 billion other guys on this planet, why Damon?"

"I don't know, Caroline." Elena started hesitantly. "I just... there's more to him. He tries so hard to let everyone think he doesn't care. There's this person in Damon that everyone sees because that's who he wants the world to see. It's just an act, but he's been doing it for so long, it was like that was all there was left of him. But there's more to him, Care. You just have to be prepared to fight with him to get a look." Caroline smiled slightly.

"You like what you see in there, huh?" Elena nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Caroline inhaled deeply, smiling again. "Then, bravo for you. Don't expect me to start loving him or digging around to get at his heart or anything like that. Honestly, not interested. Any relationship that requires that much work is so not for me. I mean, sure, Tyler was a complete jerk, but I didn't have to spend two years trying to see past the jerk thing. We just kind of...I don't know, fell together. I like it easy like that. I like falling into things. It comes as a surprise and is much less legwork."

Elena silently thought that she'd most definitely fallen into Damon, but she didn't say it out loud. Caroline wouldn't get it. She wouldn't understand that Elena had never meant to fall in love. She had only wanted Damon to be better, when she realised there was this new, shiny, different person underneath who he was on the outside. Elena could see this better person, pulsing away at his core. She wanted that person out. She had wanted the world to see how great Damon really was. Sure, he had seriously knocked her faith in that hidden person a few times. But in the end, all she ever wanted was this better Damon back in the world. She had never wanted to fall in love with him. But she had, and she wasn't complaining. She never would.

"And with any luck," Caroline continued on, "you will snag his attention tonight. It's a fabulous outfit, and you will be having fun and then he'll realise just what he's missing and you'll get to write out your little happily-ever-after. Because really, Elena, you deserve one after all you've gone through."

"Thanks, Care. But you know, it takes more than a dress to get Damon Salvatore." Elena had to point it out. She didn't want to be a one night stand. She wanted Damon to know she loved him. A sexy dress would not do that.

"Hey, that is your responsibility. I do not handle deep and meaningful statements to send guys after you. I'll just screw it up. I got you the dress, and I'll get you to the party. Everything after that is on you." Caroline saw Elena's look and blustered on. "Oh, come on Elena. I do not like him. If I'm honest, he still scares me half to death. I can't walk up to him and say 'oh, by the way, Elena is in love with you'. I can't say anything cute to make him draw that conclusion himself. I just... can't. Okay? I love you Elena, and I hope you get what you want, and I'll back you up in any way I can, but I can't do _that._" Elena was grinning. Caroline was exasperated. "What?"

"I don't need you to, Caroline. It's fine. I can handle it. I've been waiting to do this for a long time." Elena was also shaken by the fact Caroline had said she was in love with Damon before Elena herself had. She had never uttered the magic l word. She would. But she wanted to say it to Damon first. It felt wrong if she told everyone else before she told Damon.

"Oh my god, have you been waiting for tonight? Is this like your Christmas present to him, going over there and jumping his bones? That is _so_ romantic. Did I ruin your plans? Oh God, Elena, we don't have to go. It's fine. You can just carry out your master plan and spill about it later. It's fine. Honest." Elena laughed in bewilderment.

"No, Caroline. I have no plans. I mean, he's coming over tomorrow for Christmas, but apart from that, I have no plans. Besides, you were right. Damon lives at the Grill. Your plan is as good as any." Caroline smiled brightly.

"Great. I want to take photos," she teased.

"Caroline!" Elena protested.

"What? It's cute. It should be framed." Caroline took her hands off of the steering wheel, and it took a moment before Elena realised they were back on Maple Street. Back home. Caroline opened the car door and bounced around to the trunk, retrieving the shopping bags. Elena climbed out of the car as Caroline returned to Elena's side and they both headed for the house. They slipped inside quietly, but Elena quickly went to see her aunt, who had seemingly collapsed on their sofa.

"Jenna?" Elena probed quietly, afraid something awful had happened.

"Oh, hey Elena." Elena quickly headed into their lounge, watching Jenna closely. She looked exhausted.

"Are you okay, Jenna?" Caroline asked, putting the bags down in the hall.

"Just fine, thanks. I might have taken on a little too much this Christmas, that's all." Jenna admitted, placing a hand on her forehead. Elena was about to reassure Jenna, but Caroline leapt in.

"Oh, well, I can come over and help if you like."

"Oh, no, Caroline, I'm sure your Mom..." Caroline quickly cut Jenna off.

"My Mom is working," Caroline lied. Although Caroline didn't consider it much of a lie - her mother probably _would_ be working. "It would really be no trouble, and I'm quite handy in a kitchen."

"And you know I'll be here too, Jenna," Elena added. Jenna seemed to process it for a moment.

"Oh, all alright. Consider yourself invited to the Gilbert festivities." Jenna agreed. Caroline grinned. Elena had a feeling that her friend really didn't want to go home and face her mother, and she had nowhere else to go.

"How many does that bring us to now?" Elena asked curiously.

"Six. I swear, this will kill me. There's you and Jeremy and I invited Ric over because he would be at home in his apartment alone, and you invited _Damon_ of all people, plus Caroline. I'm going to need a drink."

"Elena and I are heading over to the grill tonight. You could come if you liked," Caroline suggested. Jenna looked over at Caroline, whilst seemingly having an internal debate on the matter.

"Oh, okay then. When are you leaving?"

"Seven."

* * *

The Grill was packed. Music filled the air as the band played on a makeshift stage. Bodies filled a dancefloor, and people milled about between the tables. When the three women arrived, Jenna headed straight for the bar. Elena laughed and looked at Caroline, who just shrugged. Then, her blonde friend grabbed her wrist and dragged her towards the dance floor. Elena laughed once more, and they moved into the crowd, dancing like there was no tomorrow.

As they danced, Elena peeked up at the bar. As expected, Damon was there. She could see his distinctive figure, a glass in his hand. What worried her more, however, was that Jenna was heading straight for him. There was no way in hell that encounter would end well. If only she knew what they were saying... was Jenna interrogating him about their time at Duke? Or perhaps, about the threat to her life she had so far refused to even speak of? Elena had never wished for vampire hearing more. But then... she didn't have super ears. But Caroline did.

Elena nudged her friend, before indicating Jenna and Damon. Caroline looked surprised and worried. Her eyes flashed to Elena. "Can you hear them?" Elena asked, over the noise of the crowd and the music. Caroline shook her head. Eventually, she sighed.

"Forget about it! We're going to have fun tonight, no matter what!" Caroline insisted over the noise, and then pulled Elena into dancing once again. Elena tried her best to ignore Damon, but his presence was always there, tugging at her mind. It was like he was a magnet. No matter how hard Elena tried, she just couldn't pull away.

Eventually, Jenna left Damon alone at the bar. When Elena peeked up and found him alone, she couldn't help but be a little embarrassed. He was staring right at her. Elena quickly looked away, and as she turned she found a man right next to her, vying for her attentions. Elena paused at the familiar face. "Caleb?" Elena asked, before smiling. Caleb was an old classmate of hers from Mystic High. She hadn't seen him since they graduated. They'd never been particular friends, but they'd sat together in a few classes and they'd always been on good terms. Caleb grinned, his eyes brushing over her outfit.

"Elena. Long time no see, hm?" Before Elena could stop him, he swept her into a hug, and planted a brief kiss on her lips. Caleb always had been quite...forward. The kind of guy who thought he was God's gift to the female population. Elena pushed away from him, a small smile on her lips.

"Well, if that's how you say hi, maybe I should stay away longer the next time," Elena teased him good-naturedly. She always had to be a bit more lenient with Caleb. She'd tried to shove him off completely once before. It hadn't been so successful. The best way to handle him was just to humour him. Caleb laughed, pulling her through to the edge of the crowd, out of the middle of the dancers. As they walked, Caleb spoke to her.

"Can I buy you a drink? We could catch up, and maybe I could bestow you with some more of those winning kisses," Caleb suggested seductively. Elena laughed.

"How many times do I have to tell you, Caleb? I'm not going out with you."

"Damn, still so stubborn? Tell me, is there another guy in the picture? I could knock him out of the way," Caleb suggested jokingly. Elena laughed.

"Sort of, Caleb. Sort of. Besides, I still wouldn't go out with you. I keep telling you these little encounters don't persuade me." Caleb led her to the bar.

"I just keep hoping, Elena."

Elena stopped dead. Caleb had successfully led her to the bar. But the stool that Damon had been occupying was empty. Where was he? Elena turned letting her eyes search the Grill. He'd been there only moments before. What had made him leave? Where had he vanished to? Then she saw him.

Well, she saw his retreating back as he walked out of the Grill, anyway.

That was when Elena understood. Damon had seen Caleb kiss her. He'd assumed they were close. Potentially dating close. And of course, the Grill was far too noisy with the music from the band for Damon to make out their conversation, so he hadn't heard her rebuttal. Had her embrace with Caleb had the same effect that Damon's night with Amanda had on her? It crossed her mind that Damon wasn't able to stand there and watch her with another man. Not after Stefan. Damon had left because he thought she was going to have a wild night of passion with Caleb. If Damon spent the night thinking that, Elena knew she would lose him for good. He would always have a doubt, always think she might be lying when she insisted nothing had happened.

Elena knew if she didn't go after Damon now, she was going to lose him for good.

Distraught, Elena glanced to Caleb. "Caleb, I'm so sorry, but I have to go."

"Elena?"

"Maybe some other time, okay?" Elena insisted. She was gone before he could even reply. Weaving through the tables, snaking towards the door. She had to find Damon. She had to tell him. She had to tell him there was nothing going on with Caleb. She had to tell the only person she wanted to kiss was him. A pale hand shot out of nowhere and grabbed her. She was feet from the door. She had to find him! She tried to wrestle out of the hand before she realised it was Caroline. Funny. She hadn't even been concerned that it might be an associate of the vampire they'd killed back in Durham.

"Elena, what's wrong?" Caroline asked, concerned.

"Damon's gone, Caroline. He thinks...he's going to... I have to go after him. I _have_ to, Caroline." Elena flustered, tugging away, heading towards the door. Caroline looked her over once. Then she released Elena's wrist.

"Go on. Just call me later, okay?" Caroline asked. Elena nodded. She could have hugged Caroline, but she was too distraught. She was afraid that if she didn't find Damon soon, he was going to do something stupid. He might wreck the boarding house. Kill someone. Or he might not even be _going_ to the Boarding House. If she lost him, she'd never find him in time. She couldn't let him go crazy with jealousy. She understood why it hurt. Stefan had starting dating her before Damon was even interested. Stefan had been different. But now, there was just a random guy that she'd met. Why shouldn't that guy be Damon? What made him so undeserving of her affections? Nothing, of course. But Damon didn't know that. And the thought of her going home with Caleb was probably driving him crazy. Christmas tomorrow would be unbearable if she couldn't find Damon.

Elena went out into the parking lot, and was suddenly glad they'd brought two cars. Caroline and Elena had headed over in Elena's car, and Jenna had caught up with them in her own car. At least Jenna had a way of getting home. Pulling out her keys, Elena unlocked her car, jumped in behind the wheel, and started the engine. She was out onto the road and heading for the boarding house in moments. She had to find Damon.

Before it was too late.


	22. The Heart of Everything

_I loved writing every minute of this. I just hope you guys will enjoy it as much as I did. Thanks again for all your thoughts and encouragement in the reviews. As always, if there's anything at all you want to say or suggest, go for it. I'm open to whatever you have to say. :)_

* * *

The Camaro was in the drive when Elena got to the boarding house. It was a good sign. She hopped out of her own car, pocketing the keys and heading straight for the front door. She didn't even ring the bell. She just put her hand on the door and tried to open it. It was locked, but thankfully, Elena had her keys in her purse. Stefan had given her a key to the Boarding House months and months ago. She'd never given it back - it was still on her key ring, right next to her own house key. Elena pulled it out, inserted it into the lock, and turned. The door swung open, permitting her entry. Elena slipped inside, shut the door behind her, and locked it tight once more. She dropped her keys back into her purse, and headed down the hallway slowly.

Her gold heels clicked against the floor as she walked. Elena felt terribly overdressed for the situation, in her burgundy red dress, and her elegant golden earrings. Not even her throat was bare, as she wore a gold pendant she had filled with vervain. She swore, she could probably start a trade in vervain laced jewellery. But she had to do this. Now. What she wore and how she looked was inconsequential. Besides, if Caroline's plan really worked, then she'd be holding his attention very easily.

The lounge was empty, and on instinct, Elena headed down the hallway towards the library. She could hear flames crackling, and a light, warm glow lit the space near the door. So either the house was burning down or Damon had lit a fire and was sitting right there. Elena moved confidently before she could change her mind, and stopped just beside the railings, looking down into the middle of the room. A large, comfy sofa was the centrepiece. Damon was sitting there, a glass in his hand, a crystal decanter of his favourite scotch sitting on the table at his side. Damon turned his head to see Elena standing in the doorway. Elena saw his eyes widen slightly and his brow furrow as the firelight struck her face, bringing her red and gold outfit to life. In that moment, Elena looked like a living flame. Elena could tell Damon liked the way she looked. She was glad.

He covered up his satisfaction quickly, swirling the liquid in his glass absently as he observed Elena. "Bored of your lover boy so soon?" Damon asked dryly. His words hurt, but Elena refused to quail. She was glad to know she'd made the right choice; her thoughts had been right. Damon Salvatore was jealous. He didn't seem like the jealous type, but who was she to object with what was right in front of her?

"There's nothing going on with Caleb, Damon. He's just an old friend that doesn't know how to keep his hands to himself." Elena placed her purse on a table nearby, before moving around the railing and down the few steps. Damon, placing his glass down on the table beside the decanter, let his eyes swept over her figure. Elena refused to back down. This was her moment. She was going to take it whilst she still could. Damon seemed to fight an internal battle, but a few moments later, he spoke.

"You should go back to him while you still can. Don't screw up your social life on my account."

Elena swore she never been so surprised. She'd never been quite so frustrated either. Damon wanted her to go back to him. Why? Couldn't he see that she didn't want to be with Caleb?

"Why should I, Damon?" Elena challenged. Damon looked at her dangerously. He got to his feet and moved to stand in front of her, to meet her as she moved further into the room. She could see the fire burning in his blue eyes, smouldering with something intense; Elena was surprised she could stand the heat.

"Because you deserve it, Elena. You deserve some nice, normal, guy who can give you a nice life with three kids, a beagle and a nice big house with a white picket fence. After all the crap you've been through, you deserve that much."

Elena could have cried as Damon turned away to stare at the fire. He was rejecting her because he thought she deserved better than him. Damon honestly believed that she deserved a normal life, because it would be better than what he could offer her. The sincerity and the concern for her welfare alone was so moving. How had she denied her own feelings for so long? Damon had it backwards. She was the one who didn't deserve him. She didn't deserve him at all. This was a man who was prepared to break his own heart for her sake. She didn't deserve someone who would do that for her. She'd been completely ignorant, and she'd been hurting him for months as a result. She only hoped her could forgive her.

"What if that's not what I want?" Elena murmured quietly. That got his attention. She could see it in the way he froze solid. Elena moved forwards and around Damon until she was standing directly in front of him.

"You don't know what you want. You're only nineteen," Damon replied. It didn't sound like a reason. It sounded like an excuse - a deflection to make her shut up and go away.

"I've been thinking about it a lot, Damon. What I want. Because you know what? You can be such a bastard. You're arrogant, cocky, selfish, you don't think about the consequences of your actions, and sometimes you really don't give a shit. Screw the world. Let it fix itself. That's how you think, isn't it? You do things you have absolutely no right to do. You're impulsive, unpredictable, unruly, and being around you is like standing three feet away from a raging, out of control fire. If you stick around long enough, you're just going to get burned." Elena could see her words hitting Damon like needles. With every moment, she could see his eyes harden as the pain struck. But she didn't pause for a second. She had to make her point.

"But the sad part is, that's not who you are, Damon." The surprise in his eyes was palpable. Elena laid a hand on Damon's upper arm, squeezing slightly. "You're strong, resilient. You've been hurt so many times - _I've_ hurt you so many times. And yet you're still here. You care about things that matter to you, you care so much it hurts. Deep down, you are the most selfless person I have ever met. You'd do anything for the people you love. Your decisions are absolute. You don't hesitate, and once you have a plan in your head, you're as stubborn as hell. There's so much more to you than meets the eye. You just have to be willing to find it. And all of that helped me decide exactly what I want. I know what I want."

The look in Damon's eyes was indescribable. It was like a candle was burning there, melting away every wall there had ever been between them. It was like he was daring to hope something could go right in his life. He was just starting to think that maybe, just maybe, something had changed. It was only a faintest hope. But it was there. Elena could see it. She could feel it in the air between them, as electric currents charged the space between them.

"And what do you want? What did you decide, Elena?" Damon asked, scepticism running through his every word. That doubt was what did it for Elena. The completely unconvinced air she could see in his eyes. She made her next move without even thinking. She didn't need to think. She just knew. She knew exactly what to do. She was going to have to prove herself. She wanted to prove herself. Because if she didn't prove it, she knew Damon would spend the next week wondering if she meant what she said. Actions spoke louder than words.

"I decided this."

And then she closed the space between them, and kissed him.

There was no hesitation. She was fast, sharp. She made sure that she knew what she was doing. But once she was going for it, there was no stopping her. But when their lips met, it was worth it. Her eyes fell closed as she savoured the moment, the feeling of Damon's lips on hers. So many teenagers describe their first kiss as being like fireworks. Elena knew this kiss with Damon was fantastic, but it wasn't fireworks. It was like fire. Like someone had just set a match to a canister of gasoline. It exploded behind her eyes and burned away. Passionate fires licked at her heart, filling her with gorgeous, warm feelings. Kissing Damon was setting her whole body alight. Kissing Damon was the best things she'd done in months - no, in years. She had loved Matt, and she had loved Stefan, but god. Kissing them wasn't even in the same league as Damon Salvatore. They were both sweet, gentle, caring. Damon was wild, untamed and absolutely uncontrollable. And heaven knew that Elena loved it.

Damon was suspended in shock for a moment after their lips met, but he soon fell into it, taking every moment in and savouring it as much as Elena was. He started to kiss Elena back, a hand slipping to her waist, another supporting the back of her neck. Elena found her hands tangled up in Damon's hair before she knew what she was doing, and Damon's passion began to move like lava through her soul, changing her irrevocably. They were kissing like they were dying, and only their contact would save them. It was amazing.

Faster than Elena could process, Damon had moved them both, so that she was lying flat out on the sofa, Damon suspended over her. He paused for a moment and the look in his eyes - the burning love and passion and satisfaction. It made it all worth it. Oh so worth it. Damon dove in, and they resumed kissing like it was their last day. Like it was all going to end in five minutes, and they had to crush an eternity of love into a single moment. Elena wondered why she had denied herself this for so long. It was just meant to be. How could she have protested against something as perfect as this?

"Wait." The word slipped out of Damon's mouth as he paused for a moment. Their bodies were still in contact, fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle. Elena tried to shift slightly, but there really wasn't enough room on the sofa for it. Elena didn't speak - she knew Damon would talk when he could. Instead, she just focused on catching her breath.

"Are you sure?" Damon asked. Elena wondered if he was expecting her to walk away and leave. After all the mistakes she made and the pain she'd caused, Elena could understand that. He still doubted her. It stung, but she supposed she deserved it. Elena opened her mouth to reply, but Damon cut across her. "You have to be sure. If you change your mind tomorrow, or next week, or next month..." It would break him. Damon didn't say it, but she knew it was what he meant. Elena put a hand against his face, cupping his cheek gently. She examined Damon's face closely.

"I made my decision, Damon. And this - it just makes me sure that it was the right one." Elena hesitated. "I'd understand if _you'd_ changed your mind, though. If you'd rather I left..."

Then Damon kissed her, in what was undeniably a move to make her shut up. It was so easy to fall back into the flames of their love, flames that had been burning for so long. Maybe that was why they were being so intense now. Because their feelings had been waiting, building, for weeks. Elena knew she hadn't just started loving Damon at the ball. That was just the moment when she chose to accept it. Was that why she'd missed Damon so much when he'd walked away and left her? Because she loved him? Damon had walked away from her, from their relationship. But he'd come back. He'd come _back_. Was that because he'd missed her too? Seven words rang through Elena's head. _'When it's real, you can't walk away.'_

Drinking in the moment, Elena just let her body do the work. But eventually, she was forced to call her own pause. She was going to have to call Jenna or Caroline or someone and let them know she'd be home late tonight. Or at least where she was. Elena placed a hand on Damon's chest and pushed. It would never be enough to move him, but Damon understood and moved back. The doubt and pain in his eyes was shocking. Like he was expecting her to declare she didn't love him and she was going home. Elena smiled slightly, trying to reassure him. "I need to call Jenna. She doesn't know where I am."

As Elena sat up, Damon moved with her, leaning back on his heels. Elena was glad to see all the pain was gone from his eyes, but now he just looked like he was planning something. Elena wasn't sure which was worse. Elena got to her feet, a little unsteady on her heels, her figure backlit by the fire. She began to walk over to where she'd left her purse. Damon was honestly trying to resist going too far tonight. He'd only had her for a matter of minutes; he didn't want to screw it up now. But he couldn't leave her alone. He couldn't let her go. After so long waiting, after finally giving up on having her, he wanted to savour every moment that Elena Gilbert granted him. He was still half expecting to wake up in a few moments and find it was all a dream. Every second of this was like a diamond. Was this why she'd kept him close, why she'd invited him to Christmas? Not as a manipulative plan or something meant for her own intentions. It was because she had been waiting to do _this_. Elena was just glad she'd finally admitted her feelings. Third time lucky. She was aware she should have done it days ago, but the moment had never been right. Even with her confidence in her feelings, she found it hard admitting them out loud. It was faintly ridiculous, but true.

In the end, Damon gave in to his desires. He swept Elena Gilbert off her feet and took her up to his bedroom. That bed was more than big enough for the both of them to do whatever the hell they wanted. Elena was surprised at his action, but she wasn't complaining. In actual fact, she laughed. She supposed phone calls really could wait. He had her sitting on his bed in moments, and Damon was there in front of her, smirking. "Come on, Elena. Time out. Just for five minutes."

Elena smiled at the memories. That was how he'd persuaded her to go to Georgia. It had worked then. Still worked now. Elena sat up on her knees, moving forward to meet Damon, to close the gap he'd created between them. "I get the feeling this is going to be a little longer than five minutes."

"Ten minutes, then," Damon supplied. Elena laughed, and leant in to get a taste of his lips again. Before she knew it, they were kissing once more; clinging to each other like life itself depended on it. Elena flicked off her golden heels, wrapping herself around Damon, entwining their bodies. She slid her hands under his shirt tugging it upwards. Then it was off and he was shirtless in front of her. It only made her want to stay with him more.

They fell into the throes of their romance, and Damon was kissing her throat, her chest, every inch of bare skin he could find. Elena pushed him over, landing Damon on his back so that she could hover above him. She kissed his lips, pouring all of her feelings into it. When she withdrew, she was surprised at what she saw. Damon's eyes were bloodshot, the veins running to his eyes a harsh colour of red beneath his skin. Elena knew if he opened his mouth, she'd find fangs. Damon held a hand up to her. "Brief pause," he murmured to her. Elena rolled off of him, so she was just lying on the bed at his side.

Damon was surprised that had happened at all. He was usually so in control. Unlike his little brother, he'd spent the better part of a century and a half learning precisely how to control these kinds of things. He'd been with hundreds of women, and he hadn't accidentally let this side of him show in a very, very long time. But then again. None of those women were Elena. She was something else entirely. She made him lose all sense of control without even trying.

Elena lay there, just giving Damon time. She was just glad he hadn't done anything stupid. She loved him, but just because they were together didn't make her an automatic meal-on-wheels. She shared blood with Damon before, true. But that had been different. Even Elena had her limits. But she wasn't worried about Damon biting her. Not even as he took a moment to reign in the bloodlust. It was Damon. She trusted him. Eventually, Damon slipped an arm around Elena's shoulders. Elena smiled, snuggling into his chest as his head fell into her hair. Elena took his free hand, entwining her fingers with his. Elena knew that her hair was probably a mess, and the red dress she still wore was almost certainly ruined. It would take a lot of effort to remove all the creases. But Elena couldn't honestly say she cared. She was just happy she was in Damon's arms.

"How're you doing?" Elena asked, concerned. She twisted her head in an attempt to see Damon better. His face was human again, which was a plus.

"I'm just great, Elena. Walking on sunshine," he teased. Although for once, it wasn't said in irony. Elena smiled.

"Good."

"How about you, 'Lena?" Damon queried with a smirk etched on his face.

"Never been better."

There was a pause. Elena just listened to the rhythm of their breathing, of their heartbeats, although hers was far stronger than Damon's faint pulse - so faint it was hardly even there. Then she spoke once more.

"I'm sorry, Damon." Elena said quietly. Damon's brow creased.

"For what?" he asked, confusion clear in his voice. But as she began to speak, all airs of puzzlement cleared.

"Ever since you came back, you've just been trying to help and I've just hurt you in return. I wish I could change that. I never wanted to hurt you. I'm sorry." Elena felt Damon's arms loosen slightly. She braced herself for rejection, but Damon just moved slightly so he could look her in the eye, sweeping her hair from her face. Elena was caught up in his eyes in moments.

"Elena. Forget it." He spoke so intently, Elena would have sworn he was trying to compel her. He wasn't - and she was wearing vervain anyway.

"But-," Damon placed a finger on her lips, striking her silent.

"It doesn't matter, Elena. None of that matters." Elena tried to speak again, but Damon just shut her up once more. "You're here now. That's what matters."

"I was afraid I was going to be too late. I thought I'd lost you," Elena admitted.

"I generally do not go in for sappy declarations like this, okay? But you could never be too late, Elena." Damon said it like it was a fact. It probably was, in his mind. Elena smiled slightly. "Now, please don't reduce this to a scene out of some B-rate made-for-TV movie."

"Fine. I need to call Jenna anyway," Elena said, deliberately sounding petulant. A smile curled her lips as she sat up and swung herself off of Damon's massive bed. Damon rolled his eyes.

"Oh no you don't," he told her, before grabbing her around the waist and making her sit on the bed. Elena laughed.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Salvatore?" Elena asked sweetly. Damon smirked at her briefly.

"You are staying right there. Don't move, don't talk, don't even blink. I will get your phone for you."

"I am perfectly capable of getting it myself," Elena protested, trying to stand up again. Damon just pushed her down.

"Yes, but I can be there and back faster than you can leave the room." Elena smirked.

"Why don't you try it and see?" Elena challenged. Damon smirked again, and Elena couldn't help but grin.

"Ready?" Damon asked. Elena nodded. And then he was gone. Elena hopped off the bed and immediately headed for the door. But Damon's room was so _big_, it was such a long distance to the door. Elena didn't waste time, and she was so sure she had won when her hand made it to the door. She smiled, and made to put her foot over the threshold. It was silly, but she took great satisfaction in the fact she had won against Damon. That was, until she crashed right into him.

Damon caught her, that smirk still on his face, and once he'd righted her, he held Elena's phone up high. It was like he was saying 'told you so' without using those precise words. Elena glared at him.

"I got to the door," she told him, taking her phone and walking straight back into Damon's room.

"But you didn't make it out the room."

Elena ignored him, instead pressing the call button for Jenna's number.

"Elena! Where are you?" From the background noise, it sounded liked Jenna was still at the Grill. Elena looked over to Damon, who had wandered into the bathroom. He was still shirtless, and Elena was mildly distracted by the fact.

"I'm at the Boarding House," Elena admitted. She had promised herself she wasn't going to lie to Jenna. But she was going to have to break her relationship with Damon to her aunt gently. She still wasn't so keen on Damon. But then again, who was?

"With Damon?" Jenna sounded suspicious.

"Yes, with Damon. It's fine, Jenna. I'm fine." Elena promised her aunt.

"I don't like him being around you. He's trouble, Elena." And yet, where would she be today without Damon Salvatore? Elena knew the answer to that question - it was just a shame Jenna didn't.

"Jenna. I know you care about me and I know you only want what's best, but I promise you, I am fine. This is my choice. I'd appreciate it if you let me make it." Elena could hear Jenna sigh down the line. "I just wanted to let you know where I was. I didn't want you to worry."

"Okay. But don't be too late - I need you on hand at all times tomorrow. Someone has to stop me from burning down the house." Jenna said begrudgingly. Elena couldn't help but smile. She walked over to the window, staring outside into the black night beyond.

"Don't worry; I'll be there when you wake up tomorrow. I promise." Elena couldn't help but think that if today had been any other day; she would have just stayed over at the boarding house. But it wasn't. She had brilliant timing.

"Fine. Just be careful."

"I will. See you later, Jenna."

And that was how you handled one aunt. A quick text to Caroline and she would be done for the night. Elena polished that off in a matter of seconds. Then she turned her phone off, and turned around. Damon was lounging on his bed, watching her. Elena smiled. She walked over, putting her phone down on the table next to Damon's bed, before sliding onto the mattress to sit next to him.

"What did Jenna say to you anyway? At the Grill?"

"You noticed that?" Elena blushed slightly. Damon's lips curled into a smile. "Oh, it was just the usual. The 'I don't know what you're doing with Elena but you better be nice' thing."

"Oh."

"She seems to be under the impression I've been stalking you for the last two months."

"Oh," Elena repeated, for a lack of a better response. She was suddenly very interested in studying the fabric of her dress.

"You didn't tell her about the whole 'Katherine' thing, did you?" Damon asked. Elena inhaled.

"Nope." Damon looked at Elena, curious.

"Why not?" Elena shrugged.

"I'll tell her soon. _We'll_ tell her soon." Elena amended. Damon gazed at Elena, meeting her eyes. The blue fire was so intense, that Elena was captured. Damon placed his hands on her face, and Elena loved the feeling. She closed her eyes, and savoured it.

"I love you, Damon," Elena murmured, leaning into his body. "I'm sorry I took so long to say it. But I do. I love you."

Then Damon kissed her, and the night was consumed by their complete and utter infatuation with one another.


	23. New Beginnings

_So I have a confession to make. It was like murder trying to pull this out. For some reason, it just wasn't behaving at all, and I couldn't quite land the angle I wanted. Addressing D/E (particularlly Damon) the next day was very, very difficult. I actually wrote this chapter twice because I didn't know what I wanted. This was the end result, and I figured it best to just cut my losses and let you guys read something. I'm hoping to wrap this story up in a few more chapters, but my RL is getting insanely busy at the moment, so it might take a little longer. On the plus side, I'm hoping to do something new once this is finished. If anyone has any ideas for what they'd like to read D/E wise, feel free to let me know. I don't write smut, but apart from that, I'm open. ;) Anyway, I really hope this works for you guys. Thank you for all your support. _

* * *

Elena blearily opened her eyes to the morning sun and the sounds of movement close by. Moaning, she rolled over, clawing for sleep once more. But then she remembered one fateful fact that meant she absolutely had to get up. It was Christmas.

Rolling onto her back, Elena felt the events of last night rushing back to her mind. The Grill, Caroline, the Boarding House, Damon... mostly Damon. Elena felt around the sheets, before her hand met her old teddy. That childhood friend that had been with her through it all. Clutching it to her chest, she thought of the time Damon had sat on her bed with this same bear, and she smiled. She was so in love with him. The thought sounded strange, even in her own head. But she knew it was true. She was in love with Damon Salvatore. She knew that they were going to have to work at their relationship, and that it wasn't going to be easy. But Elena was prepared. She could do it. For him, she could do anything. And today, she got to spend the whole day with him.

After giving her teddy one last squeeze, Elena rolled out of bed, and padded out of her room. Snagging her fluffy lilac bath robe out of the bathroom, she shrugged it on and headed downstairs. She could hear the kettle boiling. Jenna was making coffee.

"Hey," Elena greeted her. Jenna looked up, smiling slightly.

"Hey. Merry Christmas," Jenna said warmly, before wrapping her niece in a hug.

"Merry Christmas to you too," Elena replied, smiling. As Jenna turned back to the kettle, Elena grabbed a mug from the cupboard. She noticed Jenna was still in his pyjamas too. It seemed no one in the Gilbert household was really awake yet. Sipping at the coffee, Jenna looked at Elena over her mug. Elena was immediately worried about the suspicion in her aunt's eyes.

"So. You and Damon, huh?" Jenna began. Elena had to restrain a sigh.

"What about us?" Elena asked.

"Look, Elena. I respect your decisions, and I know you'll be twenty in a few months. But this is _Damon_ we're talking about." Jenna spoke like it explained everything. Elena put her mug down on the counter.

"Jenna, please don't do this."

"Do what? I am merely raising concern over my niece's relationship with a homicidal vampire. Sounds reasonable to me," Jenna countered.

"You didn't have an issue with Stefan." Elena retorted, pleased to find she could speak of him relatively painlessly. Damon really was a universal cure.

"I didn't know any of this when you were dating Stefan. Plus, unless Ric and Jeremy lied to me again, he lacks the homicidal part of the equation."

"Jenna." Elena said, holding her aunt's eyes. "Can you please back off? I know Damon was pretty awful, but he's different now. He's changed."

"Are you sure?"

"I was on the edge of outright depression two months ago, Jenna. And thanks to Damon, now I'm feeling good about myself again. He means a lot to me, and I'd appreciate it if you'd accept that, even if you don't like it."

Jenna was stunned into silence. She observed her niece quietly. Slightly disturbed by Jenna's sudden silence, Elena turned away, busying herself with making a cup of coffee. The kettle boiled again. Elena spooned some of the coffee granules into her mug, added some sugar and just a little dash of milk. All of that without Jenna saying so much as a word. Elena was beginning to worry. When Elena looked over, she found her aunt standing next to the kitchen island, staring at her.

"You're staring." Elena pointed out. They'd been silent for over two minutes. Elena swore Jeremy had even woken up in the interim time. It was just weird. Jenna was silent for a beat more, then she chose to finally say something.

"He really does matter to you, doesn't he?" Elena was tempted to answer, but Jenna just ploughed on. "I thought maybe you were being a little wild and rebellious. Using him as some sort of legal high or something. But I guess I shouldn't confuse my mistakes with yours." Jenna admitted. Elena smiled.

"Thank you, Jenna."

"Hey, don't think this is over. I caught your little 'depressed' statement. I would go all parental on you and ask why you didn't tell me, but its Christmas. I am having the day off." Elena laughed slightly. It was official. She loved having her old life back.

Eventually, they all woke up enough to consider getting dressed. The morning passed by in a flash. They exchanged presents, and Jenna began tackling the food with the assistance of Elena. Alaric was first to arrive, and he quickly began to help out too. Elena swore she'd never seen so much activity in the Gilbert kitchen. When the doorbell rang for the second time that morning, Elena barely even paid it any notice. Jeremy had been assigned door duty, considering he refused to set foot in the kitchen. Elena realised she probably should have been paying attention when a voice sounded in her ear, making her jump. It was almost like she'd forgotten she'd invited him.

"Merry Christmas, everyone."

He said it with such charm and charisma that Elena almost didn't recognise his voice. She whirled around, and stared at Damon. Jenna and Alaric were looking too. Damon, however, was staring at _her_. The way he was looking at her made her sure of one thing. Last night hadn't been a dream. It was something of a relief on Elena's part.

Alaric and Jenna both replied to Damon's greeting with their own well wishes, and Damon handed Jenna a bottle of wine and started playing the role of the perfect guest. Elena went back to her work, but she could see Damon mingling. It looked flawless, effortless. Elena had already informed Damon that Jenna knew everything (although Jenna didn't know that Damon knew), so it wasn't like his act was strictly necessary. But he was being nice. He was being human. It was refreshing, and Elena couldn't help but be a little proud. Everyone had told her being close to Damon was a bad idea, that inviting him to their Christmas gathering was a bad idea. But he was proving himself. He was proving that Elena was right to have faith in him. It only made her love him more, if it was even possible. Elena didn't want him to change completely for her. She just wanted him to be better. And he was trying. For her sake, he was trying.

Casual conversation started back up in the kitchen, and Damon quickly took over Elena's food-related task. Elena wasn't complaining - he was better in the kitchen than she was. Instead, Elena went about setting the table. Eventually all the food-y stuff was handled for a while. Jenna and Alaric left the kitchen to go and see Jeremy. Leaving Damon and Elena alone in the kitchen.

Damon slipped onto one of the stools at the kitchen island, watching Elena finish setting the table. "So, that didn't go so badly," Damon began. Elena looked up and him, an eyebrow raised, a half smile on her lips. "It could have gone a lot worse."

Elena shrugged. "It can always get worse." Damon looked at Elena, considering it for a moment.

"With you, I suppose it can."

Elena looked up from the cutlery she'd been setting out, meeting Damon's clear blue eyes. There was an elephant in the room that really, really needed dealt with.

"Look, Damon. About last night..."

"It was all a mistake, right?" Damon asked cynically. Elena could have literally dropped dead when Damon said that. Her heart stopped, and she was pretty sure it showed on her face too. At least, from Damon's raised eyebrow and confused stare, she was pretty sure it showed on her face.

"No. It was everything but a mistake," Elena implored. Damon just looked mildly surprised. Elena abandoned her task and went over to him until she was standing right beside him. His eyes followed her, expression never changing. "I wanted to thank you. For not kicking me out the front door when you had every right to."

"You're welcome?" Damon replied cautiously. Elena smiled reassuringly, before turning away to finish her duties. She paused when Damon spoke again, however. "I just want to know one thing."

Elena looked back over her shoulder. "What is it?"

"What made you change your mind?" Elena paused, trying to work out a reply. Before she could really process it, Damon was talking again. "It's not like I haven't tried to convince you before. And you never even listened for a second. I gave up on you Elena. I let you go. And then you're the one that comes running after _me. _So what made you change your mind?"

"You did." Elena replied, without even missing a beat. She didn't quite know how to explain it, but she had to try. "I knew that you'd given up on me. I could feel it. I knew I was going to lose you. And it scared me, Damon. It scared me so much. I'd lived without you once before and look what it did to me. I couldn't face it again. It was only when I started to lose you that I realised how much I needed you. Not because you can keep me safe from every single thing that seems to want me dead, but because of who you are. Because I love you." Elena smiled at him. "Besides, you came back when no one else did. Why _did _you come back anyway?"

"Oh, I just couldn't live without you." Damon teased. Elena smiled, but still looked on expectantly. "Elena, I left because I knew I didn't have a shot with you anymore. I knew you just weren't interested and I wasn't going to stick around and watch you find Stefan 2. I came back because the not knowing what you were up to was worse than knowing. Ta-da."

Elena smiled at his good humour and walked back to him, considering she was now completely finished her kitchen duties. The second she reached his side, she kissed him briefly. But she couldn't help but feel a little...nervous.

"This isn't going to be easy, you know," Elena murmured quietly. "Us. Together."

"I know. But you won't be able to live without me by next week," Damon mocked.

"It's going to take some work," Elena teased.

"Oh, I know that too. But it'll be worth it."

"Will it now?"

"Of course. And to begin," Damon prompted, pulling a small box from his pocket. "Merry Christmas." The box was black velvet, with a silver bow on top. He held it out for her and Elena took it, an eyebrow raised in wonderment. She could only imagine what Damon would buy her for Christmas. Curiosity in her heart, Elena cracked the box open, peeking at what it held within.

"Now don't complain. It's Christmas, I'm allowed to buy you things." Elena never would have complained. Not about this. It was too beautiful. Within the box, nestled in the folds of velvet fabric, was a shooting star. A little charm for the bracelet she wore more or less every day. The vervain bracelet. But it was a charm bracelet, and it had all of two charms on it. She was impressed that Damon had noticed - but then again, what didn't he notice? The star was made out of silver, the trails of the star leading away from the link, down to a perfect, curved star. The center of the star was blue, so it looked like it had a silver outline. The blue enamel was this perfect colour of sapphire. And it was, Elena noted, the precise same colour as the dress she had worn for the Miss Mystic Falls contest. It was stunning.

"Damon, I...thank you." Elena told him, a smile on her lips. Damon merely shrugged, like it was nothing.

"Shooting stars are meant to make your dreams come true, right? Well, I think you could use some of that." Elena laughed. Her bad luck was becoming something of a running joke. Between doppelganger hijinks, curses and bumping into vampires at all, her life was a mess. Damon was right. She could use some sort of magic in her life. The nice, wishful thinking kind of magic.

"So do you think it works?" Elena asked.

"What?"

"If I wish upon my new star, will it come true?" Elena smiled in mischief, and Damon smirked slightly.

"Perhaps." Elena pretended to consider the fact for a moment.

"Well then. For my first wish..." Elena said lightly. Damon laughed - a real, genuine laugh. It was the first time she could remember hearing it. It brought a smile to her face. She was going to kiss him. She was going to have him as much as possible - to within an inch of decency, right there in her kitchen. That was the plan anyway. Until Caroline burst in.

"Merry Christmas! Oops, sorry. Am I interrupting?" Caroline started off brightly, but hesitated when she saw Damon and Elena together. Elena looked over at the blonde and smiled. She closed the jewellery box, set it on the counter and smiled brightly at her best friend.

"Of course not. Merry Christmas, Caroline." Caroline smiled. Then the blonde was forced to turn her attention to Damon.

"Damon," Caroline greeted with some reluctance.

"Caroline," Damon returned, at least sounding welcoming. Caroline's gaze flicked between Elena and Damon, taking in their proximity, and their total ease with each other. She drew her own conclusions, and then acted on them.

"I'm going to assume you and Elena are trying out the whole cute-couple concept, but let me get one thing straight. If you so much as chip one of her nails I am going to hunt you down and torture you to death. Okay?" Caroline threatened. Her sweet, lilting tone made it sound all the more scary.

"Caroline..." Elena began. She wished someone would just understand that she had chosen to trust Damon. However, Damon spoke across her.

"Wouldn't dream of it," he assured her. Elena stared at Damon. Where was the smart ass remark, the fight back? Since when did he defer to _Caroline_ in any way? Even Caroline looked surprised by her own effectiveness, although there was a smug smirk on her face, like she was glad her little talk had worked. Elena just stared at Damon. Eventually he noticed, and shot her a quizzical look.

"Who are you and what have you done with Damon Salvatore?" Elena asked. Damon smirked.

"Oh trust me, no one else would pull off these dashing good looks."

"Yup, it's still him." Caroline confirmed, walking over to sit in one of the dining room chairs. Elena laughed.

She couldn't help but feel like this was the beginning of a very, very happy time in her life.


End file.
